@Annasgirl, agree completely.
It is very hard to see middle ground and solutions for those who believe that biological sex can be changed. Unless we can talk in terms of immutable biological sex as totally distinct from gender identity I don't know how we move forward. Our situation (the Irish situation) is particularly muddied by use of the two terms interchangeably with no clarity or definition of gender (and no sex based protections as a result).
I find it really difficult to understand how anyone can seek trans acceptance and support and in parallel try to work a system where we're supposed to pretend that we can change sex. Surely the trans experience is rooted in the reality of their biological sex and the difference between it and the gender identity they wish to adopt? I think it is so important that both are recorded (shout out to the ONS!) You cannot develop appropriate health services for trans people either nationally or individually if you don't record and acknowledge the birth sex of the people and the scale of interventions they've undergone. These are key to appropriate health care. Similarly you can't develop appropriate health services for the rest of the population if you don't accurately record sex. Same applies to prison services, refuges, specialised mental health services etc etc
I'm all about reality, facing up to it, acknowledging it and working with it and through it. I can't see a way forward without doing that.
Surely trans people are proud of who they are, of their experiences and their life journeys? Why then would they want the world to pretend they're not trans?
So yes third spaces are the obvious solution to changing rooms, bathrooms, prisons, refuges, sleeping spaces etc. Outside of those physical spaces, why wouldn't trans people be looking for representation in public life (and business and the arts etc etc) as trans people, rather than pretending that they're representing women?
I realise these are rhetorical questions and a reflection of my bafflement.