"Mansplaining"

[Squishedpickle]

Hi all

Following an argument with my husband last night, we realised we have different understandings of the word mansplaining and how this ties in to feminist approaches.

Please could you tell me what mansplaining means to you, whether you would use it as a word, and if you align to a particular type of feminism?

Thanks

Matronising just makes me imagine growing enormous bosoms wearing a 1950s housecoat and curlers

Roughly what it does mean, I think.

I don't use the word in general because it gets up men's noses.

I had an epic double mansplain once.

Great diagram!
I'd say mansplaining is perfectly aligned with patriarchy though and not feminism.

@Spiegelx

Sounds like your husband might be mansplaining the term mansplaining ;-)

Haha. Totally.

I notice DH going over stuff (at me) to explain it but I think it is often to consolidate it in his brain - then it's easier if he needs to explain to others.
When I state something I often qualify with where I learned it eg online, on the radio- but I notice men just spout the info as if they were born with it. I have had my interesting fact wuoted back to me - without acknowledgement.

I know I let DH mansplain because I can't be bothered with the aggro as he would get annoyed if I pulled him up on it. I just pretend to listen.
Not sure what I would do in a work situation.

My DH mansplains stuff Sometimes he knows what he’s talking about but so do I and I don’t need it explaining but often he is wrong but continues to put across his ‘facts’ and refuses to be put right by me.
Inevitably though, the next time the subject comes up his knowledge is correct and he acts as though he’s always known.
I absolutely know that he’s secretly googled the subject and found me to be correct

See, my opinion is that we continuously learn and adapt and I find that fascinating and love learning new things. He on the other hand seems unable to accept that he wasn’t born with infinite knowledge of all things.

@334bu thank you for that Twitter burn thread. Lovely lovely.

CrunchyBiscs
I notice DH going over stuff (at me) to explain it but I think it is often to consolidate it in his brain - then it's easier if he needs to explain to others.

This sounds much like what is known in some circles as "talking to the bear". I think the phrase comes from a particular computer programmer who had a teddy-bear on his desk, and when people came to ask him questions they would really be talking to the bear, because he didn't listen -- but they would often find they had come up with the answer they needed in the process of explaining the problem. It got extended to any talking in order to clarify something for oneself: "I think I'll go and talk to the bear for a bit."

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale

Mansplaining is a useful term to describe the subtle yes consistent underestimation of womens abilities on a micro level. I dont align it with any particular form of feminism.

Yes I agree with this. It's not just the explaining of something (probably in a patronising way). It's about men consistently assuming women are lass capable and don't know stuff.

@Squishedpickle

Thanks both. That was my interpretation too. He thinks that it's an unacceptable term because it doesn't promote equality or you wouldn't say someone was womansplaining. My view was that's because it's vastly more common phenomena from men to women and that is the way the power dynamic sits

Oh no! Yeah we don't say womanspalining as we tend not to exaim shit to men they already know.

Sounds like he's mansplaining the term to you.

www.sadanduseless.com/mansplaining/

Some good examples here

I don't like the term because.. it feels like a cop out.

Women say it to each other telling a story. Ok. But it gets men's backs up.

Many men are... Looking for reasons to be oppressed by women. This term gives them ammo.

I've never atted anyone before sorry @CrunchyBiscs

I understand where you're coming from.

My double mansplain story fits with your DH I think.

I work in IT and have a hard science degree.

An IT bloke asked me what experiments I did.

I said oh I did this. XYZ and ABC polarisation laser mirrors measure etc.

He had a think and said. Oh. I understand. You did xyz and ABC and this and that.

And I said. Did you just explain my final year physics lab back to me?

He subsided.

Additional info. He was a man who was very sure of his superior prowess in science stuff.

Then.

Went home for a meal. Dad started on about mansplaining and how it's bollocks.

I said. Oh this happened the other day. Tell story.

Dad says. Oh. I know what he was doing! He was talking it though so as to settle it in his own mind.

I said. Hmm ok. I've told you that this is a routinely sexist man. That I was annoyed.

I'm your daughter. And you would rather make excuses for a man you've never met over your own daughter.

Then my mum said. Yep.

Then he flounced off.

Maximum mansplain?

I tend not to use it, I suppose because I rarely think it's relevant. From my perspective it's not just a man explaining something to a woman, even if it is obnoxious, it has to be because she's a woman, or perhaps in a way that is particularly ironic for a man to explain to a woman.

Lots of obnoxious explainers do it to everyone, or to whole groups of people rather than just women, so I haven't seen many instances in real life that seemed to me to qualify, or where I was sure enough to use that label.

I spoke about this with DH

He said oh but some men do this with everyone!

He's a mild mannered huge build 6'1 ex rugby player.

I am 100% sure he doesn't get this in the same way as me. A short, blonde, small built female.

His knee jerk reaction is men get this as well.

Between you and me. He has no idea.

I have listened to a man telling a woman the plot of the book she had just had published. He seemed to think she didn't know what had happened in the book.

I know, because I have been with him in the company of other authors than her, that he doesn't feel the need to tell men the story of what they have just written; only to women does he do this silly thing.