Educating men about women

[Chriswt]

Hi,

I’ve been searching online and on social media platforms recently and have struggled to find any organisations or groups dedicated to the education of boy (and re-education of men) about women.

It’s so sad that there needs to exist a huge number of charities and support groups for women but I can’t find anything male orientated or encourages male engagement.

I may not be looking hard enough but I’d would welcome information from anyone who knows of groups focusing on education for men.

Thank you in advance

A colleague of mine tried to get Caroline Criado Perez in to give a talk in his boys' school. Caroline agreed but it never happened because the Head didn't see how it was relevant to the boys....

We do a fair bit of work encouraging girls to consider STEM careers - but it is just as important to show boys that there's nothing remarkable in women working in these areas (which is a challenge when sometimes, there are only a few of us.)

thanks for this thread,

I have sons. I'd like to have them turn out to not be, well,

I don't get the re-educating men bit?

I don't think that there are any feminist groups focusing on that. Sounds like, dunno. Not heard that before.

I don't know that there are lots of resources educating women about men either. If that's what you mean?

I may have the wrong end of the stick!

Interesting that there is nowhere near as many charities for men.

One example below, but if you can be more specific if you want support personally or at school for example you might get more useful links, or this document might give you more search terms. I agree with you OP that this is important.

promundoglobal.org/resources/9-tips-for-parents-raising-sons-to-embrace-healthy-positive-masculinity/

I think Katz is one of the leading voices on this - abd he's ignored by many men.

Someone posted about Dworkin's request for a 24 hour "ceasefire" of men raping women. I hadn't heard that before (need to read her work!), but it is extremely considered in making an excellent, easy to convey point. And one I think teens can get. Imagine 24 hours with all women knowing that there was no chance of being raped. None. How on earth could men be persuaded - as it would have to be men - into that? And the only answer is they couldn't (well, I think if they were told they could have a rape free for all the second day it might persuade the raped ones..but basically, can't do it).

And teens can come back with "yeah but you can't persuade all thieves/muggers/fraudsters not to commit a crime for a day". True. But their crimes aren't against predominantly women, and the discussion is focussing in women. Can talk about burglary victims later.

Sorry as I'm not directly answering, but I did find this a spectacularly effective way of making the point. And from there Katz can be brought in etc.

Women know loads more about men than men know about women. It's the nature of a power imbalance: the oppressed are fully aware of the oppressor, but the oppressor doesn't really see/hear/feel/understand what is like to be the oppressed.

What's that list when it's shows what men have to worry about when leaving the house? Men grab their keys. Women have to think about how they are getting home, where is a safe
To walk etc etc etc. I've tried many times to find it to show my teenage son the challenges his sister and I face.

I think it's very powerful.

@WomeninaDrawingRoom

Women know loads more about men than men know about women. It's the nature of a power imbalance: the oppressed are fully aware of the oppressor, but the oppressor doesn't really see/hear/feel/understand what is like to be the oppressed.

I agree, I think it’s so sad that men don’t know half as much about the opposite sex as they should.

In preparation for my daughters eventually economy young women I read Marawa Ibrahim’s The Girl Guide.

It’s a fantastic book and really opened my eyes to what pubescent girls go through. I even started feeling guilty about how I and my peers behaved at school that must have made things even harder for the girls.

It was only last year (from reading that book) that I learned that there was vat on sanitary products..... I was shocked and disgusted in equal measure.

@Laeta

What's that list when it's shows what men have to worry about when leaving the house? Men grab their keys. Women have to think about how they are getting home, where is a safe To walk etc etc etc. I've tried many times to find it to show my teenage son the challenges his sister and I face.

I think it's very powerful.

The comedian Russell Howard does a sketch about this very issue. I think it’s on YouTube called “Phillip Scofield should be a porn star” or something like that.

Sorry for the ‘auto correct’ typo. I was trying to say:

“In preparation for my daughters becoming young women I read......”

@ValancyRedfern

I do think that girls and boys are now routinely being taught that there is no difference in strength and speed between men and women. This is really damaging to women as, after puberty, there are large differences in strength and speed. I've been told by my female students that I am being sexist in pointing out women are less physically strong, but to me it's a vital feminist point, otherwise we have the madness of mixed sex sports and the death of women's sport to contend with.

Back to your main point. I think it's a massive issue that boys aren't taught well about women. Most books, plays, artworks studied in school are by men and about men, and this is even more pronounced in boys' schools. I've taught in both boys' and girls' schools. Guess which ones spend masses of time and energy on topics like sending nudes and sexual harassment? The girls' schools. When it's the boys schools that need to be teaching about those things, but instead there is radio silence.

I've seen a quote from Jackson Katz about the use of language e. G. '1 in 5 women are raped'. It's always in the passive voice, and men are never mentioned, making it into a women's issue. When what we should say is 'men rape 1 in 5 women'.

A colleague of mine tried to get Caroline Criado Perez in to give a talk in his boys' school. Caroline agreed but it never happened because the Head didn't see how it was relevant to the boys....

Thanks for your reply. It’s interesting that you mentioned the quote about 1 in 5 women being raped.

In my last 4 serious relationships with women of different ages, social and economic backgrounds they confided in me about their past experience of sexual assault and/or rape in their past.

Thats 100% !

I’ve spoken to other female friends recently and it doesn’t surprise them at all which makes this all the more sad.

Putting aside my anger and hatred towards the men that did this it just makes me so sad that it’s so common place and part of so many women’s lives.

That’s why i feel the blinkeredness and/or ignorance of the average man needs to stop.

We need shaking up and waking up.

Russel Howard sketch here thank you so much for this, will share with my teenagers, streets ahead of school sex ed!