I may actually be being a bigot - please talk me down

[ClockTowerMagnet]

DD is at an all girls' secondary school. It's doing very well, and has had a great, female head teacher for the last few years.

This female head teacher has just left (decided not to return after maternity leave). We've just heard she's being replaced by a head teacher from another local school, who has a bad reputation (as being unpleasant and authoritarian). He's also a man.

Obviously, we're upset that he has a bad reputation.

But also, as a separate issue, we're upset that the female head of this all girls' school has been replaced by a man. There was something so brilliant about this being a female enterprise. The girls were excelling in sciences and maths. They had this strong, female role model running the ship. It's one of the things I liked about the school.

AIBU to mind?

I chose my kids' school partly because they have a kick arse woman head. The STEM teachers are mainly women too.

I think it's almost as important for boys as it is for girls to see women in these roles in their formative years

As long as you would feel the same about a female being head of a boys school I don't think it makes you a bigot. Not sure who should be head of a mixed school though.

This isn't the same at all. A man leading women reinforces gender stereotypes, whereas a woman leading men challenges them.

At the dc school we had a senior team of women with a male Head. It was fine but when he left a woman got the job. It’s not a single sex school though
I think it sends an excellent message and any toxic masculinity amongst the Y10/11 boys is instantly squashed.

I went to an all girls school. The head and deputy were always women and I'm pretty sure everyone would have minded if that hadn't been the case. The assistant principal when I was there was a man, however.

ancientgran and bourbonne I’m well aware that not many men have also been disenfranchised in many times and places - but not on the grounds of their sex. Never because of that. That’s the salient difference.

And the point about sexual assault was just another example of how the world that girls grow up in is fundamentally different to the one boys inhabit, and why there is in general no symmetry between the sexes, so the argument that it has to cut both ways not to be bigotry is invalid.

I agree with you OP.

Female leadership should be a feature of a girls' school - role models etc. What sort of message does it send to the girls when the top job goes to a man? I went to a girls' school which I think will always have a female Principal, and when choosing a girls' school for one of my daughters this was a consideration.

It might work itself out on its own really, I work in a very woman heavy industry, very few straight men - and the ones that are there - it really takes a certain type of straight man to work in a woman heavy environment. If he's not up to it then he'll prob leave before too long!

But he could be good. I think it's good to have a mix of role models at school. Not much you can do except give it a chance at this stage.

Before judging whether this was a good decision or not, we need to know what choices the selection committee had. Maybe no women applied or maybe they were under qualified.

Regardless of whether or not he was the best candidate, aS the Americans would say “the optics are all wrong”

I’m with you OP; I went to an all girls school as well and female leadership was a major part of the benefits of that environment. IMO, requiring the head of an all girls school to be a woman would be a valid use of the single sex exemption allowed for in the Equality Act. It’s about about modelling female leadership to the girls.

Female leadership for a female institution is not bigoted - any more than black leadership for a black organisation or disabled leadership for a disabled group would be. There’d be uproar if the head of Stonewall was not “LGBT” - no one would be shouting bigot for objecting to a heterosexual person being appointed to that position! It’s a no brainer. The power dynamic between the groups needs to be taken into account.

How many all-boys schools do you know of with a female head teacher? Pretty rare I would say. I know of only one in the area I live in.

Having a strong female leader as a role model is definitely a plus for anyone sending their daughter to a single sex girls school. As a parent I would reconsider enrolling a daughter at a girls school that had a male head.

Stats on male/female teachers in senior leadership suck.

Teachers’ unions have been SHIT on it!

Who is on the governing body and who did the selection?

I don't think you're being bigoted. I went to a girl's school and both the heads during my time there, plus the one appointed just after I left, were men. I think it was a shame. The majority of the teachers were female but the head was always a man.

It pisses me off that most teachers are women but a huge proportion of principals are men. My dd is in a girls school with a long history of female heads but has got a male principal recently, no bad rep that i know of but i just find it irritating.

No, I think a girls school would be better off, all things being equal, with a female head, and the opposite for a boys school.

But sometimes all things aren't equal, and it is possible that they did not find a good fit among female applicants. Even if there were good applications sometimes there is a need for a particular skill set, or a person who is really copacetic with the school's philosophy. I would take the right male candidate over the wrong female on in those cases.

I'd be wanting to know the reason for their choice, is what it would come down to for me.

No problem with the only male being on staff.

Big problem with the only male being in charge.

YANBU, and it is a sadly backward step.

Mixed feelings. I would question why a man would put himself forward to be the head of an all-girls school (what makes him think he would be the most suited to the role?)

On the other hand, I do believe in keeping an open mind and giving people a chance. He could be very good. I think I would reserve judgment until I saw him in action.

Is there a separate issue as to how many women put themselves forward for the role of headteacher? The heads at my old secondary school have always been male, even though teaching is a female dominated profession.

Maybe women do put themselves forward but are less likely to be appointed? I don't know much about the issues. I have some female friends who are teachers. To my knowledge, none of them have ever expressed any interest in being headteacher (though some of them are heads of faculty).