Am I a feminist ?

[Sunnydays999]

Iv always considered my self to be . I have a daughter and I hope I have brought her up to believe she can do anything she wishes . I do think I’m maybe a bit of a rubbish feminist. I work in a job I like but it’s part time and low paid , my husband earns 3/4 times more than means provides mostly . This is like to continue . I’m quite happy mostly pottering at home in my spare time . I don’t want to work more hours and like the life I have . Does this make me anti feminism?

I don't think feminist can be simplified /codified as we live in a complex world

Given what you have said , If your husband wanted to work part time for a lower wage , how would you feel?

I wouldn’t be happy , it’s not what we agreed . I like the stress free life I have , and the nice things money brings . If it was because he was ill I would go full time . But I would rather things stay as they are . I know he’s happy . He likes his job and wouldn’t be able to do it without my support at home

I would be shocked if he wanted to work for a Lower wage . He’s much more money orientated than me .

What you describe isn't really specifically feminist or anti feminist. It's just you and your DH living your lives in a way that suits you both.

Not trying to be goady but it sounds to me like you're slightly lazy, which is compatible with being feminist or non feminist.

If you thought you deserved to work part time because you're a woman, and you DH must work full time because he's a man and that's what men do, then I'd think you were not feminist.

But if you're just a bit lazy and happy for someone else to pay the bills then I won't accuse you of being non feminist. Unfair and maybe slightly exploitative perhaps, but that's for you and your DH to thrash out.

My DH is the main wage earner for a number of reasons. As a man in our field he's a valuable commodity and more likely to keep his job. He's better paid because he was snapped up a few years before me and our wages work on progression. I do the lions share of childcare and cooking as a result.
I don't consider myself a bad feminist because we've been pushed into this structure by circumstances. If we earned the same and had the same career safety we might shake things up, but as it stands we're financially better off as is.
I consider myself a feminist because I work towards things being more fair for the next generation, so that they can be more flexible in how they do things.
I make sure I teach my son cleaning and cooking and DH does his fair share of cleaning. That's the best we can do.

Hi Sunny! Your marriage & domestic arrangements have nothing to do with your being a feminist. Gloria Steinem said 'A feminist is anyone who recognises the equality and full humanity of women and men.'
These days it's not changed - but the question of why are we still arguing about it is much more urgent - a feminist believes in equality. Between men and women. Between sexual orientations. Between races, colours & creeds. Between religions & that includes 'no religion'. Between physical ability levels. Between age groups.
If you believe in equality you're a feminist.