Japanese women can't keep their birth name

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

Apparently in Japan women have to take their husband's last name when they get married.

Being the 21st Century, this law is quite rightly being reviewed but plans to change the law are being opposed by some MPs. Including the (female) minister for equality.

www.theguardian.com/world/2021/feb/26/japan-minister-opposes-move-to-allow-women-to-keep-maiden-names?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

I had no idea that this was the case in Japan. I know the article explains that, technically, the law says married couples have to have the same surname but in reality its always the woman who changes her name.

How can the Minister for equality and women's empowerment oppose the plan?

So your title is wrong. Married women can keep their name they only have to share the same name as their husband.

If they want to change their law then they petition and I'm sure if their is enough support at some point it will change.

Personally, I like to have the same family name. I did take my husband's but if I was really attached to my name I would have talked about changing to mine.

I believe it is because Japan operates with the 'koseki' ('family register') system. All births deaths marriages etc are recorded in the family's koseki. I know a professor who became a Japanese citizen...he married a Japanese woman and wouldn't take her name and marry into her 'koseki' so he had to set up a new one, for just them in his name (which doesn't have kanji characters) - apparently his wife wasn't too happy about this.

@waitingpatientlyforspring

So your title is wrong. Married women can keep their name they only have to share the same name as their husband.

If they want to change their law then they petition and I'm sure if their is enough support at some point it will change.

Personally, I like to have the same family name. I did take my husband's but if I was really attached to my name I would have talked about changing to mine.

FFS. More tone deaf posting on FWR.

Foreigners can't have a koseki - or at least they couldn't a few years back.

Men do take their wives' names under certain circumstances ie. if they marry the eldest daughter of an all girl family and the decision is taken to keep that family name going. However normally the wife is entered on the husband's koseki and thereby takes his surname.

It's a traditional society as are many throughout Asia. Western fads are viewed with suspicion.

Personally, I like to have the same family name. I did take my husband's but if I was really attached to my name I would have talked about changing to mine

I don't understand this "family name" justification. How does it work in the case of death/ divorce and re- marriage?

Yes it's completely ridiculous that people must have the same surname here (except, interestingly enough, foreign women married to Japanese men! We can keep our original name - although I actually did change mine to my DH's family name )

Also it's not a very long tradition- even surnames weren't a thing for ordinary people in Japan!

www.nippon.com/en/japan-data/h00542/japan%E2%80%99s-enforcing-of-same-surnames-for-couples-has-only-a-short-history.html

Then there was this couple recently

mainichi.jp/english/articles/20210214/p2g/00m/0li/050000c

Change happens in Japan at an glacial pace but things do change...

What a lovely story!

@MrsTerryPratchett

What a lovely story!

The Japanese guy? Yes, he wrote a book too www.amazon.com/Took-Her-Name-Vulnerability-Authenticity/dp/1544516525?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

The Japanese guy?

Yes

In answer to the question by the OP about why the new Minister for Equality opposed the plan - she is one of a group of very conservative politicians here. They are all about family cohesion and tradition...
She still uses her maiden name for work (as do many of my colleagues but it's a pain for them as they have to deal with official documents in their married name. )

I got married 25 years ago and was only just starting my career so it didn't make much difference to change my name to my DHs - and I felt it would help me in my life and work to have a Japanese name (I speak fluent Japanese)

@TanteRose thank you for explaining. I knew Japanese society was very traditional in terms of gender but had no idea that married couples had to have the same name.

To the poster above who said my title was wrong - in practice, the woman changes her name, not the man, so it is the man's name which is seen as more important. .

Perhaps we should look nearer to home and end the presumption that a woman takes the man's surname. Require it as part of the marriage application (if that is an appropriate term) for it to be stated the names that the woman and the man (to two women or two men) wish to be known as after marriage.

@peak2021

Perhaps we should look nearer to home and end the presumption that a woman takes the man's surname. Require it as part of the marriage application (if that is an appropriate term) for it to be stated the names that the woman and the man (to two women or two men) wish to be known as after marriage.

I agree but it's perfectly OK to care about both.

The only MrsMan'sName I will ever be is my nickname on here

Women don't have to take their husband's name, married couples have to have the same name.

I've never understood women who get married, keep their own name and then give the children the father's name.

What are they thinking?

The point here isn't about women being forced to take man's name but why men are refusing to take women's names.

If makes sense for parents and children to have the same family name. And it makes sense for children to take the name of the parent they gestated inside. I think we are still allowed to call that parent the mother.

@moofolk

Women don't have to take their husband's name, married couples have to have the same name.

I've never understood women who get married, keep their own name and then give the children the father's name.

What are they thinking?

The point here isn't about women being forced to take man's name but why men are refusing to take women's names.

If makes sense for parents and children to have the same family name. And it makes sense for children to take the name of the parent they gestated inside. I think we are still allowed to call that parent the mother.

I kept my name but my children have their father’s last name simply because mine is awful and I wouldn’t burden it on anyone.

It’s my hideous last name and I wouldn’t change it for anything but I’m not sad it dies with my generation.

@MissBarbary

Personally, I like to have the same family name. I did take my husband's but if I was really attached to my name I would have talked about changing to mine

I don't understand this "family name" justification. How does it work in the case of death/ divorce and re- marriage?

If my dh were to die or we divorced I don't plan to re-marry so won't be an issue.

I was a child of divorce and my mum remarried and changed her name and for a short while my brothers started using your step dads name. I hated it and felt quite disconnected from my family. Occasionally people would assume my surname was my mothers new name which wasn't nice.

I've got cousins who let their dc's have dads names, different dads to different kids. One was a double barrel, one she learned second time and gave dc her name. Another cousin's dc in late teens eventually started using her mums name anyway. There is just such a mix of names in these small families.

I always felt a connection to my surname, it wasn't about my dad but about our history. I now feel same connection to my husbands name, through my children we have a shared history.

That doesn't really answer the question does it?

If all having the "family name" is so important what do you suggest should happen when a parent re-marries? ( the fact that you don't plan to marry is irrelevant btw)

What are your suggestions?

Do all children of the first marriage get to keep their "family name" until the parent who adopted the "family name" mother re-marries?

When that parent re-marries, do they change their adopted "family name" to their new "family name"?

Does the children's "family name" change every time such a parent re- marries?

Do the children or the parent who was the holder of the original "family name" get any say in this name- changing?

Up to you if you want to take your husband's name but the "we'll all have the same family name justification" is a very weak argument.

@peak2021

Perhaps we should look nearer to home and end the presumption that a woman takes the man's surname. Require it as part of the marriage application (if that is an appropriate term) for it to be stated the names that the woman and the man (to two women or two men) wish to be known as after marriage.

That makes no sense at all under UK law. There is no requirement whatsoever to change one's name on marriage (or divorce) so it's ludicrous to dictate that partners must declare a name.

My Japanese friend when I was a student (90s) married and her husband took her name.
His family threw a tantrum but they stood firm.
I have no idea if the movement to do this has gained any more traction since then.