So, its Aromantic Awareness Week

[lionheart]

twitter.com/i/status/1363843446616719363

I've read around (a little) but I'm still not sure why this constitutes an identity to be championed by Stonewall etc.

Anyone shed any light on this and on the language (spectrum; allies) ...?

Back then, I went for the off option or the None of Your Business.

If you're a teen girl today, does "actually, the term is asexual, you bigot" response work in RL?

I always have the impression that these kind of responses work best either against women, whose socialised kindness sees them bowing out, or from people who are privileged in some way that isn't being acknowledged.

Isn't it sad that the majority of your posts on the feminism pages is about how trans people are scum?

That's not true and pretty much invalidates the rest of your post (a post which was tbh fairly patronising).

Hi Tammy, nice to see you.

And i know you're being grimly humorous, but I suspect 'asexual, due to puberty blockers', as an email sign off wouldn't be approved by SomeonesChild.

Too real.

Indeed. In fact I have been accused of fabricating my experience with GnRHAs so many times, despite the fact I was posting on forums for my illness asking what the fuck was happening to me while some of those accusers were still prepubescent and many years before I’d heard the term “puberty blockers”.

Apparently my own experience of these drugs is transphobic. Just another woman who needs to sit down and shut up.

It's no good, I can't get past 'aromatic' I'm totally regretting the chicken I got out of the freezer yesterday. Just wondering if I can hide it and talk DP into ordering Chinese

I get pressured to like my friends cat and I never will, Im in the lower end of cat avoidance spectrum my OH will scream and run away from a cat and will be very ill around them.
Please be aware of Acat people and not pressure us into that type of love

It's a shame really. Because I can easily understand why young girls need a label like, eg, asexual. If it's a means of telegraphing to a porn soaked peer group that you're not to be pestered for sex.

But instead of dealing with the symptom using gender identify politics, it would be so much more productive to deal with the actual ailment using feminism.

I recall one of these neo-identities, I think it was Graysexual or something, and the explanation was roughly 'Able to feel sexual attraction for someone until you get to know them'.

I actually thought it was a bloody ingenious way to get a creepy woke-bro off your back if you fancied him at first and discovered quickly that he was a bit of a tosser.

"It's been nice chatting, but we've reached the point where my graysexuality kicks in, so we'll have to call it a night."

Well, the Olympics have been cancelled, but it seems we have a new game in town - The Oppression Olympics, who will be the most oppressed in society, who displays the highest number of narcissistic tendencies?

Well, the Olympics have been cancelled, but it seems we have a new game in town - The Oppression Olympics,

And the great thing is that it can be completely virtual!

Yeah, It seems a lot of these labels are for perfectly normal and fairly commonplace attitudes and behaviour, but the production of a label seems to legitimise it, when just saying what you want/don't want, doesn't.

Is it the, (fairly recent) abject fear of saying something that someone else could construe as 'offensive', maybe?

I've decided to identify as ABASPI - Ancient Barren Spinster

They used to burn us, which was pretty oppressive.

I'm anti-romantic. Does that count?

I'm asympathetic...

Yes, at base, the label is essentially just another version of those posters with things you should do to avoid being raped.

You should feel under no pressure to give a label to your lack of desire to have sex or be in a relationship with someone. A simple no should suffice. It fucking irks the shit out of me that I have to reiterate that lesbians don't want male sexual partners, for example. But having said that, I understand the usefulness of being able to find a community based on clear terms. Obviously the problem is the ever finer hair-splitting that creates all these neo-identity labels means that the terms are not clear at all.

I get pressured to like my friends cat and I never will, Im in the lower end of cat avoidance spectrum my OH will scream and run away from a cat and will be very ill around them.
Please be aware of Acat people and not pressure us into that type of love

CATPHOBE!!!!

@BuntingEllacott

I recall one of these neo-identities, I think it was Graysexual or something, and the explanation was roughly 'Able to feel sexual attraction for someone until you get to know them'.

I actually thought it was a bloody ingenious way to get a creepy woke-bro off your back if you fancied him at first and discovered quickly that he was a bit of a tosser.

"It's been nice chatting, but we've reached the point where my graysexuality kicks in, so we'll have to call it a night."

This is why I love mumsnet!

Obviously the problem is the ever finer hair-splitting that creates all these neo-identity labels means that the terms are not clear at all.

No, quite. If I want to be romantic with only certain types of people am I "on the aromantic spectrum" where one end is welcoming romance with anyone and everyone?

A song has been running round my head all morning,
Lonnie had a hit with it in the 60's but it goes back to 1925

"Young man just from college, makes a great display
With a long jawbreaker with all he has to say
Can't be found in Webster's, and won't be for a while
For we all known he's only putting on the style"

I'd advise singing the song very loudly, it cheered me up no end and stopped the world feeling quite so daft.

Apparently graysexuality lies somewhere between sexuality and asexuality. They sometimes feel like sex but mostly don't. I wonder whether there's a graysexuality "community"?

My family doesn't speak to me because I'm single and don't have children. I have never had many romantic feeling because I'm autistic and it's mostly baffling for me. Since I've been on SSRIs I don't have much sexual desire any more.
But WHY do I have to claim some made up status just to be accepted by society? Can't I just be an eccentric spinster?

TheGoddessFrigg

But WHY do I have to claim some made up status just to be accepted by society? Can't I just be an eccentric spinster?

Now that cuts to the heart of it! The word "valid" gets thrown around a lot, but you only get to be accepted as valid if there is a specific word.

You can be an obnoxious git about other people's lives until they have a label!

I wonder whether there's a graysexuality "community"?

You're in luck!

Hey Anon,
Welcome to the community!! So happy to have you here.
The black ringg^ or the ace ringg^ has quite the history. It’s something that’s been around for a few years now and is probably one of the biggest <a class="break-all" href="https://href.li/?wiki.asexuality.org/Black_ring" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">symbolss^ in the Ace Community.
Basically, the black ring <a class="break-all" href="https://href.li/?www.asexuality.org/en/topic/76607-black-rings-and-other-ways-to-show-asexual-pride/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">came aboutt^ for other aces to not only show their pride, but to also help identify other people who are ace. Many people liked the idea and it quickly became popular. People wear their ace ring for many different reasons whether it be pride, knowing they are not alone in being ace, or to feel connected to a community. The ace ring can mean a lot for aces for different reasons. 
The ace ring is typically worn on the right hand and middle finger, this makes it a sure sign for other aces to spot a fellow ace. And even though the ace ring is typically black, many people like to find a ring that is personally their pride colors. You can most certainly be gray asexual and have an ace ring! Several gray aces go with the black/sliver look. It’s pretty cool because it shows the connection with the asexual community(black) but also represents the graysexual community(silver). However, a plain black ring is perfectly acceptable for any gray-a to wear.

just-graysexual.tumblr.com/post/173190944451/hi-there-so-im-new-here-and-new-to-the-community

There's a distinct voice, isn't there? To those hip young things who come here to educate us.

"Hi! Your friendly neighborhood queer here! Here are some great resources about supercalifragilistisexuality! Thanks for reading!
Oh, you might not agree? Well, you're all hateful bigots. Fuck off, mum".

I'm not that old but teenagers have definitely got more YouTubey and transatlantic since my day. "Subscribe below!!" *rictus grin"

www.jesusandmo.net/?s=Valid

I've seen so many threads on here from women who are just done with the idea of romantic relationships. But I've never seen any of them say they feel oppressed and discriminated against because of it.