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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Furious and exhausted

15 replies

daised · 18/02/2021 19:43

Today, two men in a car followed me into an underground car park, cut me off entering the ramp so they parked before I did, got out their car and were approaching me as I got out mine.

One launched into a rant about how I needed to use my mirrors. He counted them - loudly - at me, with a smile on his face. "One, two, three...you need to learn how to drive, sweetheart." The other one stood and watched. I couldn't have gotten past them. It went on for a couple of minutes. I was just frozen. I was scared, embarrassed, humiliated, confused. I can only assume he belived me to have committed some sort of driving infraction earlier on the road. I'm not aware of having done so. I'm usually a careful driver. I've never been in a prang and I've been driving almost 20 years.

They left and got in the lift up to the shop. I waited and went up a few minutes later. They were waiting in the shop outside the lift. He started counting at me, loudly, again as the doors opened. Smiling, laughing. As I walked away they got back in the lift. They had no shopping. Did they do the lift journey just to be able to humiliate me again?

They've committed no crime. It was all done in smiles and a casual tone of voice. But it's terrifying. This shit is terrifying. Two men in an underground car park is terrifying. Their physical size is terrifying. My helplessness and voicelessness was humiliating. All the things I wish I'd said I know I never would because you just don't know which men are going to crack and be genuinely dangerous - and one who'd reroute his morning to intimidate a stranger in a car park just might be that type.

I'm raising a daughter who'll have to navigate this shit one day. It's so depressing.

OP posts:
fatblackcatspaw · 18/02/2021 19:46

they followed you - this looks like harrassment

Mollyollydolly · 18/02/2021 19:51

I'd report this to the police - the carpark will probably have CCTV. Surely they could be charged with intimidation?

fatblackcatspaw · 18/02/2021 19:53

yes shopping centres and car parks have loads of CCTV

Leafstamp · 18/02/2021 19:53

I’m sorry this happened to you, it really is shit.

I also think that you should report it.

Gcnq · 18/02/2021 19:56

Yes even if you had unknowingly committed a driving error of some sort, there's no excuse for that behaviour that sounds really frightening

ArabellaScott · 18/02/2021 19:59

I'm so sorry, OP, that sounds terrifying. I expect they knew exactly how scary it would be; I agree that it would be worth reporting and trying to find out if there is CCTV footage.

Muskox · 18/02/2021 20:02

This is awful OP. I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you Sad

MaudTheInvincible · 18/02/2021 20:15

Horrible bullies using their relative size to intimidate a woman. Thanks for you op

Melange99 · 18/02/2021 20:20

It was harassment. The casual way they did it probably means they do it a lot. Nothing to do with your driving, you were a bit of sport. I would report them (him).

Horrible for you. You did the right thing in not confronting them but the ways these types of experiences make you feel impotent and helpless stinks. Knobs.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 18/02/2021 20:40

So sorry daised 💐

What utter utter wankers

But yeah...police and cctv!!

fatblackcatspaw · 18/02/2021 20:47

plus it might make them think twice about doing it to another woman....

Gizmo79 · 18/02/2021 21:06

You should report it. I have been followed by a raving man whilst driving. I had followed the rules of the road but they didn’t like it, so decided to follow me and then shout at me outside my locked car (with children inside). I did nothing wrong, and I wish I had reported it.
I was absolutely terrified, and it took me a while to feel comfortable driving again.

OvaHere · 18/02/2021 21:11

That's awful. Definitely report straight away so CCTV footage can be checked. Nobody should be intimidated like that. Sorry it happened OP.

GorvidAl · 18/02/2021 21:14

I would absolutely report that.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 18/02/2021 21:38

There are times I wish I could carry a gun...

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