Help - how to get young feminists in the making to stop apologising?

[Worldgonecrazy]

Dear wise women of Mumsnet

I saw a video made by a young feminist about the way the COVID lockdown has affected women far more than men. It’s really great that her and her friends are beginning to see that the equality they presumed was there is a myth.

However she caveated the video at the beginning with ‘I know I’m speaking from a position of white privilege......’

This saddened me so much. Is it really a race to the bottom? Are we not allowed to talk about feminist issues if we are privileged in any way? How can I explain to her and her friends that just because intersectional feminism knows that, as a class, black women have it worse than white women, it doesn’t mean white women can’t talk about how shit things are for women?

Any advice on phrasing?

For info the young feminists are all mid twenties, no children, and many are single.

"I'm conscious that, as a white woman, there are aspects of this that..." as a better way to phrase than "white privilege". Or "This is a bad thing, and this is often worse for women who aren't white, because there are other discriminatory factors involved as well as being female."

Suggest they get in on the second wave feminist hype and read some Andrea Dworkin?? Seriously!

The having to apologise for being a woman talking about women's sex-based oppression is immensely tiresome. I completely agree that feminism should be intersectional. To me, it's integral and intuitive to my feminism to recognise the different elements that make women less privileged than men, and that we live in a society that is based on both white and male supremacy.

But the 'white feminism' charge isn't really about that. It's weaponised intersectionality - a way of men telling women to shut up whilst still seeming woke. Same old misogyny in a new disguise, that these young third/fourth wave feminists are now having to navigate their way around. As a comparison, it's interesting that intersectionality never works in women's favour. I've yet to see a male gay rights activist feel the need to apologise for his male privilege, for example, or acknowledge that lesbians (as gay women) might be less privileged than gay males.

Some suggestions - if they are truly feminists they need to remember that feminism means unapologetically centering all women. No need to apologise for doing that - focus on the fact that women as a class are disadvantaged compared to men and that, within that class of women, women from minority ethnic group are doubly disadvantaged compared to men (and/or when compared to white men). Reach out to feminists who are from minority ethnic backgrounds to develop your work together to share your diversity of experiences within the common experience of being female.

@notyourhandmaid

"I'm conscious that, as a white woman, there are aspects of this that..." as a better way to phrase than "white privilege". Or "This is a bad thing, and this is often worse for women who aren't white, because there are other discriminatory factors involved as well as being female."

Yes, this. But more. We need to challenge the suggestion that a lack of persecution and oppression is somehow a privilege. It's a manipulative argument which is used to make people feel guilty so that they can be more easily controlled. And it's nonsense.

Thank you. I suspect they are influenced by the videos they watch (mostly USA in origin) where apologising for privilege seems to be de rigeur.

Thank you for your responses. The point about gay makes not feeling they need to apologise for make privilege is a good one.

My female millennial co-workers seem to have an "apologize for my privilege" disclaimer EVERY time they bring up any kind of unfair treatment. I try to point out that their male colleagues don't do this.

You never see black men apologising for being men when talking about racism. You never see gay men apologising for not being black when talking about gay rights

How many times have you see a black man say "I know I am speaking from a view point of male privelage'. Fucking never.

In my eyes 'white feminism' as a term is often used to discredit womens opinions.

Great points, DishedUp. It think it's even more ridiculous here in the US when a lot of white people don't even have health care, a good transportation system, and most of us work too much for bosses that treat us like sht.
To say white Americans who are part of the 99% are privileged is ridiculous. We're less oppressed, not privileged.

It's a way to just shut people up, mostly women.

It's not just young women. I hear many older women start a valid complaint with "I'm sorry but..."

Well I'm no youngster/millennial (I'm 54) but I don't see the harm in acknowledging privilege?

Just because men don't do it, isn't a reason not to!