Desperate transgender teen's agony of 'being born in wrong body' - now he needs your help to pay for surgery

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At 14 years old, Nathan Blake begged the hairdresser to give him a short back and sides while his mum popped out to the shop.

It was an act of defiance as he took the first tiny transition step knowing he was different to his peers.
"I first came out as a lesbian in Year 8 but I still knew something wasn't right. I was suffering inside.

"I didn't even know that transgender was a thing. I was a bit of a loner and I met most of my friends online. Suddenly it all started to make sense.

"When I look back, it was always there. I hated my hair and my body, especially when my top half changed." www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/desperate-transgender-mans-agony-being-4940582

It is interesting to me how many of the transboys in my DD's cohort have a host of ACEs.

That kid has had a rough ride, it just makes for hard reading.

In 2009 we found out after he passed away that a family member had been secretly trans..

Edge, may I ask if he had a wife and if she knew about it and was okay with it?

@prisencolinensinainciusol2

In 2009 we found out after he passed away that a family member had been secretly trans..

Edge, may I ask if he had a wife and if she knew about it and was okay with it?

No, he didn't. He wasn't in a relationship, which is why we ended up dealing with the aftermath and having to go through his personal possessions. He died from a paraphilia gone wrong, one that I now know is closely linked to cross-dressing. (He had at one stage received hormone treatment, though, and had received assistance from a gender clinic regarding transitioning, so it had gone further than transvestitism.)

I'm not sure there is any understanding of basic biology/reproduction these days.

There seem to be big moves to rewrite "basic biology" with alternative means of reproduction so it's no wonder kids are confused.

Those international experts at WPATH tell me that

Fertility can be preserved at any age by gamete storage
Those born without a womb can have uterine transplants
If you don't fancy that there is always surrogacy
Being single isn't a barrier as one of the latest developments in 'trans medicine' is using stem cells from skin for gametes i.e clones

@NoIDontLikeTrains

True OldCrone — but not even knowing what it is? I'm in my thirties and knew of the existence of transsexuals certainly by the time I hit senior school… it's an aspect of society that's not been hidden from anyone but the very young for decades, surely?

I agree. I first heard about transsexuals as a child in the mid-seventies when articles about Jan Morris's 'sex change' were all over the newspapers. But it's the idea that this is something that children can 'identify into' that is new. In the 70s it appeared that it was very much something for adult males, and it was many years before I heard of any female transsexuals. I wasn't aware of the idea of 'transgender kids' until much later again.

The idea of 'transgender children' is very recent.

I'm not surprised Nathan has no understanding of biology when the messages are so confused.

Given Nathan is crowdfunding to get the body 'he so desperately needs', I'm not surprised if Nathan thinks that it's a fully functioning male body not what we know to be the reality.

Yeah I see what you mean OldCrone — perhaps Nathan meant not having heard of it as something that could be relevant to Nathan.

Though I still suspect there's a significant element of the transgender origin script in play.

*Those international experts at WPATH tell me that

Fertility can be preserved at any age by gamete storage
Those born without a womb can have uterine transplants
If you don't fancy that there is always surrogacy
Being single isn't a barrier as one of the latest developments in 'trans medicine' is using stem cells from skin for gametes i.e clones*

Good grief. WPATH styles itself as a professional authority, it's actually a group of delusionists

Separated parents, absent father, confused sexuality, mother died, bullied. There's a lot going on there. Also what look up be fairly extensive and prominent tattoos which in the context of someone being unhappy with their appearance / body is a bit worrying. And I say that as a tattoo fan.

This bit jumped out at me, said about their short haircut at 14
"It was the first time I had really done something for myself and I instantly felt better." Perhaps I am reading too much into it but whether that's true or their perception, to get to 14 before you have / feel you have any autonomy is concerning, autonomy and feelings of self efficacy are linked to development of resilience. People need to feel they have some control over their lives.

Jan Morris and a couple of other high-profile MTF transsexuals made news headlines in the 1970s or 80s. It was nothing like the scale we see now, or the casualness: it was a tiny number of men making the irreversible commitment of having extensive surgery.

I can think of four trans people I've encountered briefly through work or socially since, probably, the late 90s, plus one transvestite I knew quite well. I didn't see the explosion in MTF transactivism, or children believing they were trans, till about 2017. That's when, like so many other women, I was stunned by the assault on Maria MacLachlan in Hyde Park.

How the flip did that get deleted so quickly mcj1?

That must be a record!

TBF I do think the Sentinal has turned into a clickbait rag and this is not the only terrible reporting I've seen in it.

Its clear that this person has multiple issues and promoting a fundraising campain to fund surgery is so irresponsible.

We keep being told that young people in this situation have extensive theraputic support but I fail to see any evidence of that.

Besides the newspaper promoting this, do Crowdfunding sites themselves have a 'duty of care'? Many of those raising funds for surgery are teenagers, and some, reading between the lines, sound as though they are bypassing NHS checks and balances and fast-tracking themselves into surgery. Crowdfunders are profit-making businesses and must be making a lot of money from the thousands of users raising millions of dollars/pounds for surgery through their sites, but if these funds are being used to leapfrog health assessments, is there, or should there be, a duty of care?

At 14 years old, Nathan Blake begged the hairdresser to give him a short back and sides while his mum popped out to the shop.

I didn't get beyond this. When I was 14 in the 1980s, we all had what I would describe as a short back and sides -longer on the top. In fact, apart from the tattoos, Nathan looks very like a lot of girls I remember from that time.

I really don't get the hair thing. I've had short hair virtually all my life the longest it has ever been is above my shoulders. Mostly pixie style.When I was a young teen I dyed it and cut it. It was fun and explorative. I did have a mullet for a while with shaved sides!
Both my daughters have short hair. One of my daughters knows a couple of girls who are calling themselves Jay and tells me their mums won't let them have short hair!
We've just bought hair clippers to make my eldest daughter's hair super short.
IT'S JUST HAIR!
Also the language used to describe the desired surgery; top surgery, more masculine chest, flat chest no mention of breast removal.
And who knows what the mixing of DNA means does it mean splitting two eggs and mixing with donated sperm?
Such a sad story. I would like to know who the online supporters were.

Hair! I was born in the 80s. Growing up, virtually all the middle-aged women I knew had short hair.

My hair is long (I'm probably still trying to differentiate myself from the middle-aged women of my youth) but this is all so silly. Women chopped off their hair in the 1920s, for goodness sake. Plenty of friends my own age prefer short hair.

How are we in a situation where women in the 2020s are more retrograde than women in the 1920s?

@ArabellaScott

Is this just creating a new binary of 'aggressive/violent men' and 'everyone else'?

It feels a bit like it, to me. The scary men demand what they want and they get it, everyone else scurries into the 'ladies' toilets that were once upon a time a safe haven. Probably less so, now anyone who fancies it can access them.

MAYBE TEH PROBLEM IS MALE AGGRESSSION EH???

Rather than older women trying to access HRT, lesbians excluding penises, mothers trying to encourage their children to accept themselves and their bodies as they are, feminists fighting for women's rights, maybe just maybe TRAs could direct some of the energy behind those rape and death threats and deplatforming drives towards violent, aggressive and toxic male masculinity? How about it, lads?

Naughty!

"This middle-aged white man threatened me."

Why was the man's race relevant?

Did this actually happen - could just be a tale to increase sympathy for Nathan's plight.

I’m really sorry Nathan has had so many difficulties in Nathan’s short life. I hope there’s a lot of professional support for all the many losses Nathan has had. I was very sad reading of this.

Nathan’s understanding seems limited of future options which is worrying, because who’s been irresponsibly giving Nathan ideas about techniques that aren’t scientifically possible for a biologically female couple to use together?

Nathan says: ‘ I'd also love to be a parent in the future, I’d want to adopt or use my DNA and mix it with my partner's and do it that way.’

Nathan’s understanding seems limited of future options which is worrying, because who’s been irresponsibly giving Nathan ideas about techniques that aren’t scientifically possible for a biologically female couple to use together?

Yes I've noticed this on a few occasions where young trans people have been interviewed.

I know very little about the processes only wht ice seen on tv but don't they require a certain level of development, fertility drugs carry risk, so may have to be stopped , they don't always work and even if you go through the whole thing, then pregnancy still.might not take and its thousands of pounds?

Amd I'm.sure I read that its actually more successful to freeze embryos not eggs so these kids have to pick a father for for future children at 14 ?

How is it ethical they have no idea of the expense risks and unlikely success of these processes ?

@thinkingaboutLangCleg

Sad but brave story at that link you posted, Arabella. A young woman whose mum loved and supported her while she went through FTM drugs and mastectomy, and then through detransitioning.

My mum didn't question or challenge me because she didn't want to lose me. The gender clinic had no such pressure. It was their job to question and challenge me – to evaluate my (clearly) poor mental health and treat me accordingly. Instead, they handed me HRT and surgery.

to that wonderful mum, and to her honest daughter. But not to the doctors and other professionals who ignored the principle of “First, do no harm”.

I saw that Joss Prior had posted about the article Arabella linked to. But erm - isn’t it precisely the job of a gender clinic?

“ It is not the 'JOB' of a gender clinic to challenge and question somebodys mental health.”

twitter.com/joss_prior/status/1356226216857104385?s=21

MtF adults are often advised to freeze sperm at a sperm bank before they start Estradiol & Progesterone.

FtM patients only need to freeze eggs if they plan to have ovaries removed, which hasn't been necessary in decades. Trans men can go off hormones for a year or so and become fertile. There are a few pregnant fathers now.