OhHolyJesus
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences OP, that makes sense in terms of you doubting yourself or your own boundaries. I imagine that due to the abuse you have had your boundaries broken before and perhaps have been gaslit so much that you might be struggling to find them again. You are allowed to have them, we come with them built-in as instincts and these can be used against us. I'm no expert and don't speak from experience so I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes. It makes me furious when women are made to feel bad for clearly marking a line that is crossed and it's the woman who feels guilty and feels she should apologise or be 'educated'.
I think sometimes the manipulation can be subtle, it is almost invisible. I imagine it harder to define why you feel uncomfortable if you boundaries have been badly undermined you don't trust your own instincts, your own feelings.
Kirsty would no doubt defend himself here by saying he was honest, why are we rejecting him, he isn't pretending, he's not like the others etc etc ....but he is, he just can't see that he is because he is a narcissist and places no value on your or your request, which was a very simple one. He is no different from the other men who messaged you. In fact he is worse.
You are allowed to have boundaries, you can state them and uphold them and defend them. That doesn't make you rude let alone transphobic or bigoted or any of the things women are so regularly called when we say 'no'. (Best one for me so far is Nazi, it was just so irrelevant to what I was saying...anyway).
I have made some solid friendships online through common interests, I would say these new friendship now replace ones who I made a long time ago as I have changed. I actually think differently and have more in common with these new friends so they are easier friendships, less hard work. Maybe it's cliché but through a hobby or a group you might find new friends in real life. If you meet online do see if you can at least call them for a chat so you can get to know them offline, and also tell from their voice whether they are who they say you are!
And I'm sorry you lost your best friend. Again I can only imagine.
Thank you so so much. Everything you said was exactly my thoughts. And everything you said about having had my boundaries so skewed already making it harder, just everything you said thank you. Every word was spot on, that has been my life and I’m trying to find boundaries I didn’t know I was allowed!! Thank you so much. And for the condolences. It makes it so much harder to even try to make friends. She was one of those friends that you can’t ever replace. You can find new ones that are great in other ways, but not the irreplaceable one. So it makes things like this harder. I appreciate your post it’s like you read my mind. Really.
DidoLamenting
Nope, YANBU. I would be annoyed by this too and especially annoyed that this man wants female friends for stereotypical girly stuff like make up and shopping
Why does that annoy you? If I were on a site like this I would absolutely mention clothes and shopping, perhaps not make up but definitely the others. I'm interested in them - if he is too why not put it in their profile? . At the very least it would weed out people who dismiss such interests as "stereotypically girly stuff"
Because 1) I asked for female friends. So he crossed my boundaries by messaging me at all because he sometimes likes to dress up 2) My profile mentioned nothing at all similar to what he was looking for which was 3) “typically girly” things to reel in women who do like make up, which is manipulative as HE is stereotyping what HE thinks women like in order to get interest and 4) I stated clearly on my profile what I want and he matched none of it so why message me? I’m not a doll to play make up with. I didn’t even mention make up hair nails or any of the sort on there. 5) Alternatively, I don’t like what he does when he’s being in his words a “typical bloke who likes football and sports”. So neither of our likes are remotely matched. 6) I want female friends, not male friends who like to sometimes be female and talk celebs and make up and get make up tips and play fashion and photography. All totally innocent of course... not at all arousing for a sometimes woman 
So why not message someone else without crossing boundaries? There IS the option on there for male AND female friends after all.. You can pick female friends only, male friends only, or female and male friends. Soooo.. why the female with specific opposing boundaries wants and needs?
THAT is why it’s all annoying. Hth.
3rdNamechange
YANBU invasion of women's space AGAIN.
Exactly, thank you!
despairenting
You can hire personal stylists and make-up artists who will show you how to get a flattering look; you don't need to make women who want friends do unpaid labour for you. Nice of him to assume that because you're female you must be an expert in and lover of clothes and fashion and make-up because hehe squee don't us girls just love those things so much!!
And this ^ with bells on. Alternatively you can find someone with similar kinks to get your jollies off if that’s the intention too. Not women who are genuinely wanting and needing friends and are currently quite vulnerable. Luckily not enough to fall for it. How would we do fashion and clothes and make up together? Trying on dresses in front of each other? The delicate touches involved when making up someone’s face and the closeness necessary? If it’s genuine then find someone who likes the same as you and research together and go to professional make up artists and all that. Thank you for this point!!
Whatsnewpussyhat
Why does that annoy you? If I were on a site like this I would absolutely mention clothes and shopping, perhaps not make up but definitely the others. I'm interested in them - if he is too why not put it in their profile? . At the very least it would weed out people who dismiss such interests as "stereotypically girly stuff
The OP specified that she was looking for female friends. This man's entitlement to ignore her clear boundaries for his own selfish need is very telling.
To me it's not about the 'stereotypical girly things' and more about how these males think females as a whole behave.
Why can't he find male friends interested in fashion etc? No. He wants girly chats and the fantasy that males think is womanhood.
Thank you, this is exactly it. At the expense of another woman no less!
ChattyLion
‘I like girly things’
Unless you specified your own liking of ‘girly things’ in your post on that site OP, it looks like Kirsty’s a sexist bellend making a lot of assumptions about women. He needs to find actual willing props to his role playing in an upfront way and not try to project on to others.
Exactly thank you. And for the record to those who don’t understand the issue- to clarify. I put zero about fashion, make up, nails, celeb gossip, or any other bullshit people think women love because I don’t. I like make up sure. Is it a hobby or big interest? Nope. On my profile I put reading, playing instruments, mixed martial arts, creating things artistic, documentaries, learning new things, eating lots of cake. So, where do we match as friends exactly? Being that I also asked for females? As friends only? Because I also put about the fact I’m engaged on there (a fact many men ignored). I also don’t live in London. Also on my profile (now deleted). How would he imagine we do make up and fashion sessions? Interesting that one isn’t it.. the only way he could get his needs would be via internet wouldn’t it. Videos, Skype chats that can be recorded, messages, photos. Just dodgy.