Advice sought on laws and legal stuff surrounding abusive partners/Ex's.

[Wotsitdooda]

I don't know if this is the place to post this (appreciate anyone pointing me in the right direction), but I need to help my friend, deal with the consequences of an abusive partner's lies that have now put her home at risk.
He is an ex, at one point the police were involved and he has been warned off (he is violent, destructive and mentally abusive, he's not allowed at the house, he's not supposed to contact her) but he won't leave her alone, they share a child but he's not interested in the child, they have been separated for a few years now.
He just has this abusive controlling obsession, and apparently nothing else, going on in his life.
She lost her father last Christmas, so this year when the ex decided to 'inform' the benefits (she has three young children and a teen, and works part-time) that he she had an abusive (I'm staggered at his brazenness) man living with her now - to clarify, HE is the abusive man in her life, there is NO other man, much less living in her home, after the trauma that their relationship scarred her with.
So they wrote to my friend, and it got lost in the huge emotional whirlwind that Christmas was this year, she didn't respond and forgot to ask someone to do it for her or remind her and the result of that is, he has managed to set in effect a course of action that could result in my friend losing her home, they have stopped the housing benefit.
So, tonight she told me what had happened and I will help her appeal, thankfully it is within the timeframe that we can hopefully get it sorted without too much complication.
My issue however is, that the police are aware of him and his abusive and stalking habits, he used to call her every single school-night at ridiculous o'clock over and over and say nothing. He contacts her kids, that aren't his, insanely petty stupid tiny behaviour, the man is an insect, but there's something about this...
Maybe it's that he's done it to her at this time of year, knowing what she went through last year - he was vile about it when it happened too... I mean inhuman, the guy is just a piece of work.
Sorry, I digress, my point is: I think in threatening her home like this (yes I see her culpability, but I'm certain, knowing him, that he did it at this time of year knowing it would slip through the cracks - the timing was something else), but jeopardising her home, which she shares with her children, it needs consequence.
In the way that say, wasting police time is an offence. Threatening her home like this in this knowingly deceitful way, has to be actionable by somebody somewhere surely?
The police and spending a few nights in the cells hasn't deterred him at any point in the past, and I just think without consequence, he's never going to move on with his life and that obsessions like this only end after some horrible escalation.
He is trying to launch an acting career and has had some bit parts on the telly once in a blue, I've told her to sell the story to the Sun and fudge his ships right up >.< problem is he's so small now, it may only boost his profile O_o
What are her best options here?

I'm a survivor. I would suggest cutting all contact. Whilst he can contact her at anytime he will. I asked my ex not to text me after 8pm. I didn't tell him why but I found it intrusive at that time of night. He kept doing it so I gave him one warning that I would block his number. He text me again about something happening in 3 weeks time after 8pm of course. I actually already had a separate phone so that I could look at it when I chose but I wasn't great at leaving it alone . Then I went to messenging through third parties, eventually that stopped too. Now he has no way to contact me other than writing.

I can't offer any legal advice but I suspect there will be no consequence unless he gave his name to the benefits office as a witness but I suspect he did it anonymously.
She is lucky to have you to help her, that is great but he will still get in her head if she has that contact. It's difficult because when in an abusive relationship it is very hard to let go it's like you keep wanting his texts etc. But once you get a clean break it really helps to break this cycle.
Focus first on saving her home. Don't focus on him.

Mumsnet has a legal section;
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters

Theres also Relationships, and some of the women who post there have been through the system and are very knowledgeable.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships

The usual advice is to to keep an incident diary. Start by writing everything down, in the order it happened and with dates, and keep it up to date from now on.
Gather any evidence she has that can back up her story. Texts, emails, CCTV from local businesses, witness accounts.

When she puts in her appeal, include the contact details for any of the police she has dealt with, crime numbers and so on. Get her to phone them, keep them up to date with his latest actions, and ask for supporting statements.

I suggest that your friend get in touch with a domestic abuse charity such as women’s aid. They can give her advice and support.

She should be entitled to legal aid so will be able to get a lawyer (women aid often help you find legal aid lawyers). There is an organisation called right of women who give free legal advice but I was not able to get through to them.

There is a charity that can help with free injunctions. I will find the link.

www.ncdv.org.uk/

Sorry, I have no knowledge of legal matters, but this organisation are signposted by women's aid and might be of use:

www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/your-legal-rights/

Ooops, this one: rightsofwomen.org.uk/

I think your question is - is their any legal recourse against him for shopping her to the benefits office? As far as I am aware, no. He is entitled to report what he believes to be benefit fraud, and I am afraid its your friends fault for not dealing with it in time. If she has not committed any fraud then she needs to engage quickly and her home should not be at risk. If she has, then she can't really blame him. I echo PPs comments about womens aid etc. for all the other abuse.

That doesn't mean, however, that she can't use his actions as wider evidence of a pattern of behaviour in terms of an injunction etc., just that I don't think there is recourse for this specific action.

if she contacts NCDV they can help her get a non molestation order.
I would imagine this will help her with her appeal, which will presumably be based on the fact that the intial claim of fraud was not only false, but made maliciously. I would think that making false allegations of benefit fraud is itself a crime but one that would have to be followed up by the DWP.
It would also be helpful for her to get advice from an IDVA on keeping safe, how to block him etc.

She should keep any texts or emails he sends as evidence.

It's unbelievably common for false accusations to be made.

85% are false, it says in this report:

www.theguardian.com/society/2016/feb/27/false-benefit-fraud-allegations

Just to repeat what has been said above:

Ring the National Domestic Violence Helpline - they will probably have more resources than than any of us as individuals www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ (Different numbers for Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland)

Contact the local refuge as they may have support workers - search the Women's Aid Directory at www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/ who are probably all too familiar with cases like this.

Rights of Women rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/

You should also see if the local council has a Domestic Violence Support unit who maybe able to help more quickly with the HB issue. Whatever else she does she should send an email or phone and explain what has happened as quickly as possible. (I think - but you should check that under Covid rules no evictions can take place - but that doesn't mean not telling HB Department ASAP about what happened.)

Citizen's Advice and Shelter should also be able to advise re HB.

There are also Law Centres that offer free advice, see this list to find out if there is a local one www.lawcentres.org.uk/about-law-centres/law-centres-on-google-maps/alphabetically

It will probably help that the police have a record of his behaviour, but it would also help if there were any support groups or solicitors she has contact with around the time she got (what? and injuction re him not living in the house).

So horrible as it may be to do it, not only keep a dairy and copies of any calls, emails etc., also compile a history of the events that led to him being excluded from the house.

Sorry - the bit about no evictions is no longer true (changed on 29th August 2020) but ....

from 29 August 2020, with the exception of the most serious cases, landlords are not able to start possession proceedings unless they have given their tenants 6 months’ notice.

So this should give her a bit of time to get her HB re-instated.

Hello everyone, thank you so much for all the helpful responses! The resources here are brilliant, and most of the responses, I can feel the warmth behind them, this is very much appreciated and I have a busy day ahead of me reading up on her options.
I just want to address the no contact thing, I didn't include it in the post because it was too complicated, to refine it, I'll say: she has been heavily medicated since removing herself from this relationship (it exacted an extreme toll), it took a LOT for her to mentally extricate herself in the first place, the way he was controlling her, but she is very family-oriented and doesn't believe in denying her children access to their families (her youngest is the only child she has by this man, her other children all share the same father), should they choose to have it. There is also a grandmother who also wants contact, it's an ugly mess from every angle, it's been torture for everyone involved. Trust me though, I've been advocating this since day one, he just finds a way, he steals phones and numbers, he's just that kind of nobody.

I also want to address one final thing, there's a poster here who didn't read the post, criticised many things (that were all addressed in the post), and offered no help or assistance or support whatsoever, and I would say to that person: look closely at your reasons for coming here, you helped no one and assisted nothing other than your own tiny little ego-boost; you came to condescend in order to make yourself feel better, by looking down your nose at someone else.
I'm sorry you feel the need to behave in this manner, but I would highly suggest you stay away from responding to questions as delicate as this. What a hateful completely tone-deaf way to behave.

Ugh I'm not used to this website lol... I posted this below but it might be better here?

Hello everyone, thank you so much for all the helpful responses! The resources here are brilliant, and most of the responses, I can feel the warmth behind them, this is very much appreciated and I have a busy day ahead of me reading up on her options. I just want to address the no contact thing, I didn't include it in the post because it was too complicated, to refine it, I'll say: she has been heavily medicated since removing herself from this relationship (it exacted an extreme toll), it took a LOT for her to mentally extricate herself in the first place, the way he was controlling her, but she is very family-oriented and doesn't believe in denying her children access to their families (her youngest is the only child she has by this man, her other children all share the same father), should they choose to have it. There is also a grandmother who also wants contact, it's an ugly mess from every angle, it's been torture for everyone involved. Trust me though, I've been advocating this since day one, he just finds a way, he steals phones and numbers, he's just that kind of nobody.

I also want to address one final thing, there's a poster here who didn't read the post, criticised many things (that were all addressed in the post), and offered no help or assistance or support whatsoever, and I would say to that person: look closely at your reasons for coming here, you helped no one and assisted nothing other than your own tiny little ego-boost; you came to condescend in order to make yourself feel better, by looking down your nose at someone else.
I'm sorry you feel the need to behave in this manner, but I would highly suggest you stay away from responding to questions as delicate as this. What a hateful completely tone-deaf way to behave.

lol I buggered it up either way... I'm off >.

Hope some of this does help Wotsit - and she is lucky to have you looking out for her.

Also just to add if she has sought support from a doctor their evidence should help as well with her case.

And maybe not at the moment but Women's Aid does have an online chat service - chat.womensaid.org.uk/ which may be a way for her to talk things through, or there is a Survivor's Forum to share experiences etc., survivorsforum.womensaid.org.uk/

Looking back through the posts @Wotsitdooda I can't help but wonder whether your comment is aimed at me? If it is, I'm sorry my post came across that way. I was trying to answer the question you put forward in the most straight forward way possible, to the best of my knowledge.

Hey @stumbledin, I knew this would be the website to get the best advice on something this sensitive, and I'm truly grateful to everyone for what they've given me here... I'm considering doing some work for some of these charities for free, it's a subject close to my heart; my father was an abusive alcoholic, my teenage years were pretty shiddee. I definitely have something to bring to this table. I also think with me driving this, she is more likely to engage, I'd assume she'll have been given literature from the police before, but like so many things it gets lost on the 'to do' pile until it becomes the irrelevant pile.

@Naturalstudy, I'm sorry I didn't come here to start any beefs so I won't be naming and shaming, I expressed my feelings about a post because I thought there was a legitimate need to; the person did not read the original post but wanted to comment anyway.
Everything I wanted to say is in that original response.

Once more, thank you everyone, Happy Christmas and a wonderful new year xXx.