Sir Patrick Stewart on DV in Telegraph

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Very good article on the impact of growing up in home with DV. He still struggles with the effects at 80.

www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/sir-patrick-stewartat-80-still-therapy-deal-seeing-mother-beaten/

He is an ambassador for Refuge which is one of the Telegraph’s Christmas Charities

It is vital that high profile men speak out in the way he has.

Quotes from article
“Refuge is one of the charities featured in this year’s Telegraph Christmas Appeal, and Stewart is all too aware of how much it needs help – now, more than ever.

“Covid-19 has created a situation more conducive to violence in the home than at any other time in my life. Husbands and wives are behind locked doors, and incidents of violence from men towards their wives and children has more than doubled in these past months. It has never been as bad as it is now.””

and
“ “No one should experience domestic violence. It is a crime, and it is present all across the UK and every corner of the world. Refuge can help, [but] I can only hope readers lend their support,” Stewart says, the voice building to crescendo.

He quietens again. “If they do, they’re giving vital services to women and children just like my mother and me.””

He is brilliant isn’t he. I love how much he loves his mum. It gives me hope for the future for DS.

He's amazing. A great ally.

I wish I had his courage. It means so much to survivors when people share their stories. I only ever talk about my own similar childhood anonymously. That is partly to protect my mother, but also because we don’t live in a world where you can casually mention to a coworker that your dad was an abusive drunkard.

He still struggles with the effects at 80.

It's so sad. There's a little boy inside him who is still there.

I recognise his wrestling with his own masculine anger. It’s nice to see it spoken of.

It is positive to hear a male perspective on having a violent father. I think perhaps part of breaking the cycle is for men to be able to talk about the impact on them of having a violent male role model.

"We became experts at knowing when the moment had arrived in the shouting when we had to physically put our bodies between our mother and our father. Children should not [have to] become experts at this kind of thing, but we knew when violence was about to happen because we’d seen it so many times,” he says.

“I knew that all of our neighbours knew what happened in our house, and it humiliated me, shamed me. My brother and I felt ourselves responsible for what happened, but of course we were not. To know that you were surrounded by people who were aware of the horror stayed with me, and that’s why I never talked about it.”

My husband's father used to beat up his mum, and this very much reminded me of his mum telling me about how he (my husband) used to try and stand in front of her to protect her even when he was only about 5 years old. I've welled up thinking of it. He also has a piss poor idea of the police who used to turn up at the house and do nothing because it was "just a domestic."

I’ve seen him speak passionately about this and I admire him greatly for placing the blame squarely where it belongs.

I’m also impressed that he defied doing this himself.