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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Ya know what's weird?

43 replies

NoDontDoIt · 04/12/2020 15:01

I'm 34, biologically female, and i'm done having kids. I've experienced a fair bit of life now, and think this is the real deal, that I know my mind and circumstances, and I would like to be sterilised.

Ha ha ha, says the NHS, no way. How can you possibly make that decision? You've only had one child! You're only 34! We can't possibly.

However, there ARE actually people out there, associated with the NHS, that think it would have been fine to make that decision as a child and sterilise myself with puberty blockers? Hmm

I just wanted to voice this somewhere.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 04/12/2020 15:06

You’re right and you’re by no means the first person to say such a thing.

Hayeahnobut · 04/12/2020 15:07

Your wish to be sterilised is a lifestyle choice, so not funded by the NHS. You can go private if you wish.

yourhairiswinterfire · 04/12/2020 15:09

It's infuriating.

My cousin had to fight for breast reduction that was causing her immense pain. And yet girls in their teens can get theirs completely removed because 'non binary'. It's ridiculous.

NewlyGranny · 04/12/2020 15:10

Quite right! Along with you're too young for a piercing until you're 16 or 18 for a tattoo, but we'll enable you to decide you don't want your reproductive system at age 12 - or even younger sometimes.

yourhairiswinterfire · 04/12/2020 15:10

*her breasts were causing her the pain, obviously, not the reduction Grin

CaraDuneRedux · 04/12/2020 15:11

Whoosh...

(That's the sound of the point sailing over the previous poster's head.)

OP, you're absolutely right.

CaraDuneRedux · 04/12/2020 15:11

Sorry by pp I meant *Hate"

BaseDrops · 04/12/2020 15:13

@Hayeahnobut

Your wish to be sterilised is a lifestyle choice, so not funded by the NHS. You can go private if you wish.
What other forms of sterilisation would you class as a lifestyle choice?

Or other NHS services, how about I want to have sex but not have children? Is that a lifestyle choice? Because contraception is free on the NHS.

How about I want to help protect myself from HIV because I think I’ve been exposed? Is that a lifestyle choice? Because the NHS fund post-exposure prophylaxis drugs.

They also treat people for smoking related cancers, and liver failure from alcohol abuse, is that a lifestyle choice?

Beamur · 04/12/2020 15:13

Calling it a lifestyle choice is interesting.
It's less of a health risk than pregnancy. Unwanted/wanted pregnancies are a significant risk to a woman's health..

PurpleHoodie · 04/12/2020 15:13

What Cara said.

wellthatsunusual · 04/12/2020 15:13

@Hayeahnobut

Your wish to be sterilised is a lifestyle choice, so not funded by the NHS. You can go private if you wish.
I don't think it is if an unwanted pregnancy would cause harm mentally or physically.
Coyoacan · 04/12/2020 15:16

Your wish to be sterilised is a lifestyle choice, so not funded by the NHS. You can go private if you wish

In case you hadn't noticed, sexually active women have to use some form of contraception, all of which have a downside and a risk to their health. Asking for one type of contraception in particular is no more a lifestyle choice than having a baby or an abortion.

Cwenthryth · 04/12/2020 15:17

You’re not wrong

I’ve wondered what the response would be if a woman seeking sterilisation said that she was non-binary genderqueer and has specific gender dysphoria around being fertile and potentially bearing (more) young, therefore required sterilisation to validate their gender identity..... would that be acceptable?

Original poster
NoDontDoIt · 04/12/2020 16:02

Good idea cwenthryth!!

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 04/12/2020 16:36

'I don't think it is if an unwanted pregnancy would cause harm mentally or physically.'

Abortion is available on the NHS as well though.

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 04/12/2020 16:47

Any my mum wanted to be sterilised. She has been warned that another pregnancy could kill her. But they said no - hell she only had five kids and was still the right side if 40, what if she wanted more?

Then she went for an op - and they did the procedure anyway without warning or asking. Because they knew better.

This was a looooong time ago but still - we haven’t advanced since the 60s??!

Thelnebriati · 04/12/2020 16:48

''Its a lifestyle choice''

Meanwhile on another thread, feckless women are being castigated for not taking responsibility for their contraception.

VulvaPerson · 04/12/2020 16:49

Yup. I am 34, and doctors acknowledge that with my health issues and the meds I have to be on, a pregnancy would be 'a disaster'. I already have 2 kids also, no way would I be able to handle anymore. But still, I might change my mind. Despite, GP agreeing that my issues are unlikely to ever be 'cured' so I won't realistically ever get the option to change my mind, even if I wanted to! Me and her know that really, if I did get p[regnant, I would HAVE to abort, for my own health, and the health of the baby as I simply cannot live without the meds I am on, and it would be very bad for a baby..yet, still no. But an 11 year old can be pushed towards that pathway, because she plays with the wrong toys, go ahead?! Bonkers.

VulvaPerson · 04/12/2020 16:50

(Currently using 2 forms of contraception the rare times I have sex, for anyone wondering! But even that can fail, unlikely, but possible)

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 04/12/2020 16:51

Any my mum wanted to be sterilised. She has been warned that another pregnancy could kill her.

Not wanting to die- lifestyle choice.

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 04/12/2020 16:55

Yes how bloody selfish of her...

Charcutaria · 04/12/2020 16:57

@Hayeahnobut

Your wish to be sterilised is a lifestyle choice, so not funded by the NHS. You can go private if you wish.
So is attempting to change sex. Human beings cannot change sex, we all know this.
wellthatsunusual · 04/12/2020 17:05

@NiceGerbil

'I don't think it is if an unwanted pregnancy would cause harm mentally or physically.'

Abortion is available on the NHS as well though.

I don't think it's available everywhere in the UK. Although the law changed in N Ireland I think it was then decided that no funding is available. It's a few weeks since I heard the last update though.
Thelnebriati · 04/12/2020 17:16

Abortion is not available to everyone on the NHS. Doctors can be very well practised in making sure you can't get one through them if they object on principle. We had a thread about it once and there were loads of us telling the same story.

NiceGerbil · 04/12/2020 17:19

My apologies for not separating out NI.

The idea that women should abort (which costs the NHS money) and this will cause them no upset because the baby is unwanted, because it's not right for sterilisation to be paid for by the NHS. Seems like a very peculiar way of looking at it.

To say it's better for women to potentially have multiple abortions in the nhs than be allowed sterilisation seems totally arse about face.