Matrescence - transitioning to motherhood

[OhHolyJesus]

I'm not fond of making up new words but this is possibly a concept I could get behind.

As men want to impersonate motherhood, through faking pregnancy, stillbirth, 'breast'feeding, changing birth certificates and more maybe we need to get ahead of this partially part of the take over and maximise the womb envy?!

I'm really only sharing for other opinions. It's not a new concept or new language, but I read this after the LLL thread at the weekend and thought it relevant.

womensagenda.com.au/latest/how-matrescence-could-positively-transform-womens-experience-of-motherhood/

Oh I could absolutely get behind this.

And there's not enough medical research around this phase, the article mentions physiology a lot and you have no idea till you're in it how much this matters.

(Very small example, nipple tenderness when feeding and returned cycles can be hugely helped with calcium and magnesium supplements. But you have to search that info out. (I actually got this info via Lll.) I'm currently feeling hugely better since doing this, joints, aches etc, at the moment. Another eg is that a friend though that lactational amenorrhea was an old wives tale, and an endocrinologist thought I might have a very serious illness and ordered quite a challenging test based on that as he'd clearly never heard of it either.)

It's not absolutely just breastfeeding though, as pointed out, the whole readjustment of your status at work, friendships, ability to exercise and engage in debates not relating to sleep, nappies and poo colour.

Currently battling some issues at work due to my part time status to be able to look after my toddler 2 and my health days a week apparently automatically means I am robbed of the intelligence and experience of 20 years around certain points.

Mumsnet was hugely beneficial in supporting me through matrescence. I thought I was failing miserably.

*grammar may be wonky due to said toddlers sleep habits.

Great, I love this.

I loathe the "the baby is born and you'll fall in love" nonsense that I believed. My babies were born and I was glad the labour was over, that they were alive, and, well, that was it.

Took a good 8 months for me to love them.

Which is fine, they were cared for and I did my best. No rush of love here, which didn't make me a terrible mother - just took me a bit of time to grow into the role.

Yes rush of love, nope. Survival, yes.

Thanks for sharing this OP, I could get behind it too. There should be better understanding of the dramatic shifts women experience in all areas of their life when they have a baby. I lost track of the number of times I was told "enjoy the baby bubble" before I had my first. After I'd given birth I felt traumatised. I was in pain, breastfeeding was a nightmare, fevers from mastitis etc and the sleep deprivation left me completely discombobulated. This really resonated: she has to go through this life-altering transition while being chronically sleep deprived, having to learn on-the-job, and whilst having to care for a very dependent and cute little human.

Expectations of motherhood vs the reality caused me to feel depressed and trapped. I think if we understood better the monumental impact it can and talked about it more that would help massively. Once I'd gotten over the shock I was able to enjoy my baby, I just wish it had been less of a shock and I'd been better supported through it.

Maybe this is a term to be used more commonly then or revived in some way?

The scope creep of 'what it means to be a mother' is coming from all angles right now it seems to me and it needs to remain steadfast in being female and that starts with language and fact.

I like this. It took me a long long time to settle in the role. It was a huge shock to the system, particularly as many of us live very individualistic lives now. We are used to eg I want X get in car go to 24hr Asda and get it. Suddenly your life up-ends.