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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Psychology Today Article - LGBT kids more likely to reject their parents than their parents reject them

22 replies

OhHolyJesus · 20/11/2020 17:38

Finally some sense! This is getting some disparaging comments, you can comment at the bottom.

"Teenagers may not become homeless because parents have rejected them—some may decide to leave their homes because they have rejected their parents.
The generally accepted narrative among activists, the therapeutic community, and the media is that many trans kids are living with parents who reject them based on morality or intolerance. However, there may be some parents who themselves are being rejected because they have not quickly or strongly supported their tween or teen through appearance and name changes, hormone-treatment, and, in some cases, life-altering surgeries."

www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/against-all-odds/202011/trans-kids-may-reject-family-not-the-other-way-around

OP posts:
DrDavidBanner · 20/11/2020 17:56

I've not yet read the article but I can see how that would make sense in some families. I think that SM use would exacerbate that too, if you look on Twitter or Reddit for example a lot of the focus is on affirmation etc rather that exploring what else is going on in the person's life.

testing987654321 · 20/11/2020 18:11

It's not a great article, it appears to just be an opinion piece with no research or even anecdotes to back it up. The reaction it gets is extremely strong though, the narrative must not be questioned.

Unihorn · 20/11/2020 18:13

Yes I completely relate to this as someone with a family member who acted this way when we didn't all immediate fawn over their decision. All they do is post shit on Facebook about being trans.

LiveintheNow · 20/11/2020 18:15

It is analogous to being in a cult, one of the things a cult will do is separate someone from their family.

citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.626.8284&rep=rep1&type=pdf

TweeBree · 20/11/2020 18:18

The author is posting emails of support from parents too scared to comment below the article. How fucked up is that?

xxyzz · 20/11/2020 18:19

Great to see this in a well-known publication.

Comments predictably split between massive threats and calumnies on the one hand and praise and relief on the other.

TweeBree · 20/11/2020 18:22

Great to see this in a well-known publication.

Yes, and very mainstream. It's sold by the check-out in grocery stores/Walmart, etc in America.

Toseland · 20/11/2020 18:24

All the claims of “how could you dare publish this on Transgender Day of Remembrance!?” - I saw a graphic recently showing that every single month has a day or week of Transgender events! There is no escape. Poor children.

RubyViolet · 20/11/2020 18:28

My Godchild totally rejected their family for a few years.They were a gay teen, then Trans Woman but are now non binary.
The changes they made were made fast and without discussion from coming out as Trans to coming out as NB.
They were at a Uni in London away from home at the time of discovering they were Trans and returned home for the Summer holidays with a new name and seemingly a changed personality.
I really thought the family did everything to welcome and understand but they also had questions understandably. But my godchild refused to discuss any aspect of their transition. A huge falling out resulted with much heartbreak and an estrangement from the family that is only just being mended, albeit very very slowly.
Thankfully no surgery happened. The pain the entire family has felt is just heartbreaking.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 20/11/2020 18:32

The comments calling the author "trash" and talking about "TERFs" are just full of inane Twitter soundbites. It looks like the site got brigaded by TRAs and their supporters.

persistentwoman · 20/11/2020 18:37

Agreed Ereshkigalangcleg

It's so tiresome seeing these juvenile responses. She's making a valid point and anyone who works with teenagers and families know that parent / child breakdown is nuanced and the 'blame' is often not easily attributed. Yet these fools get airtime.

rogdmum · 20/11/2020 19:01

The article appears to have been deleted already. What a surprise. Hmm Angry

TweeBree · 20/11/2020 19:05

@rogdmum

The article appears to have been deleted already. What a surprise. Hmm Angry
Oh FFS. Angry
OhHolyJesus · 20/11/2020 19:05

Yes I've just seen that it's gone Rogd

One comment told the writer to eat shit so that was probably it.

I know they don't like anyone talking about Dr Littman's work and whilst the writer isn't a Dr or a therapist she referenced the work of Dr Littman.

I don't think it was a brilliant article, it was ok, I was just glad to see the content and wanted to show support of them giving it a shot. Clearly not brave enough to keep it up.

You can send feedback via their website if you missed the chance to comment.

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TweeBree · 20/11/2020 19:07

Does this work? Google cache link: <a class="break-all" href="https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:jB5q8xvYpgwJ:www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/against-all-odds/202011/trans-kids-may-reject-family-not-the-other-way-around+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:jB5q8xvYpgwJ:www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/against-all-odds/202011/trans-kids-may-reject-family-not-the-other-way-around+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk

rogdmum · 20/11/2020 19:10

It does work TweeBree ! Thank you!

MrGHardy · 20/11/2020 19:55

Considering they are part of a movement, or rather their entire side of the political spectrum, that considers anyone who doesn't immediately and completely submit to demands an alt-right fascist (the irony), this is not surprising at all.

OhHolyJesus · 20/11/2020 20:28

Thanks Twee fast work.

Will share so others can refer to it in their web form feedback.

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ArabellaScott · 20/11/2020 20:53

Gah, deleted before I got to it - thanks for the cache link, is it possible to archive it - is that what a cache link is? Forgive my ignorance.

The comments are wild. 'drivel that will continue to fatally harm children' - that's quite some statement to make. American site, I'm guessing?

BetsyM00 · 21/11/2020 00:19

Archive of the cache: archive.vn/gJalh

Kettlingur · 21/11/2020 08:03

@Toseland

All the claims of “how could you dare publish this on Transgender Day of Remembrance!?” - I saw a graphic recently showing that every single month has a day or week of Transgender events! There is no escape. Poor children.
Someone on FB just calculated and apparently there are now 163 LBTQI days in the calendar. (And still they need to take over Women's Day and Mothers' Day as well...)
ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 21/11/2020 08:41

I think as an opinion piece it's interesting and plausible, I especially liked the but about trans people coopting the language of abuse to describe not being given everything they want, instantly and unchallenged. This is something we've seen several times in every age group. But there's no new research referred to here, just suppositions based on the Littman papers.

It also talks about the "LGBTQIA community" but then exclusively discusses "trans declared kids" (which is a great phrase). So it seems a bit muddled from that perspective, not least because the "I" is a medical classification not an identity.

It would be very interesting to see this article expanded on in a way that seperates out the LBG from the T and defined it's terms a bit better. Yes, a cult like parental alienation is absolutely happening to children who say they're trans, lead mostly by older males online. They may well be storming out when they're mum doesn't instantly agree to hormones and calling that homelessness. I even saw an article once by a young transperson who said that they considered themselves homeless despite actually still living at home because their mum wasn't being supportive enough. She was still doing all their laundry and cooking as far as I could tell, but because she wasn't 100% supportive the author had decided that they "identified as homeless" or some equally stupid crap. However I also have a bi friend who's mum remarried and then converted to her step dad's religion (JW) and the two of them subsequently gave her so much shit for her sexuality that she chose to move out and live with friends until she could rent. She wasn't ever asked or told to leave, but they also didn't leave her much choice. And then there are people who really get kicked out by homophobic parents and end up on the street or in shelters. And I just don't see how any of these situations can fit meaningfully into the same catagory.

So it's an interesting article insomuch as it raises some interesting questions, but I don't think it offers much in terms of answers and any research into this area needs to be a lot more nuanced in terms of how it looks at different groups, parental relationships, methods of becoming homeless, definitions of homelessness etc.

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