Decision to 'Move away from the use of the term 'mother'

[Silvetmoon]

Long-time lurker, first time poster.
I've learned a lot from you ladies, but I'm too angry to formulate my thoughts. I'm in Australia, so Aussie mums particularly welcome to reply. Received this email in my inbox the other day from our breastfeeding group, and I'm livid. 'Mother' is a term they are considering moving away from. There's opportunity to give feedback but I. Am. Too. Furious. To. Think. Any suggestions for what to write would be most welcome.
Thank you. And thank you all for getting it.

The email itself:

The [Group Name]'s mission is to create a breastfeeding-inclusive society. In order to do this, we understand the importance of using inclusive language. It has been policy to use gender-inclusive language for a number of years, for example using the term ‘partner’ rather than ‘husband’.

The WHO defines gender-inclusive language as:

Speaking and writing in a way that does not discriminate against a particular sex, social gender or gender identity, and does not perpetuate gender stereotypes. Given the key role of language in shaping cultural and social attitudes, using gender-inclusive language is a powerful way to promote gender equality and eradicate gender bias. Source: United Nations (www.un.org/en/gender-inclusive-language/)

Recently, some members have been in touch to ask whether there are plans to change language, in order to better meet the needs of the LGBTIQA+ community. While there has been some discussion about this, we confirm that no decision has been made to make these changes to our language.

Other community members are concerned that [we've] ...made the decision to move away from the use of the term, ‘mother’ to the more generic term, ‘parent’. Similarly, there has been no decision made about this. We use the term ‘mother’ or ‘mum’ in many contexts such as ‘Some mothers experience mastitis’ while the term ‘parent’ is appropriate in other situations e.g. ‘Parents are welcome at our Breastfeeding Education Classes’.

We do feel that this is an important issue. We plan to conduct a broad community consultation with Australian parents to understand the needs around gender and LGBTIQA+ inclusive language. We would love to receive your feedback and thoughts on this issue at: [email]. All responses received will be included in our consultation process.

I hope this clarifies [Group's] position at this stage, and look forward to updating you on the outcomes of the broad community consultation.

Kind regards,

@Tannins

If the terminology used when I attended a breastfeeding group was that Breastfeeding “parents” are welcome - my now ex would have seen that as an invitation to come along and control further my “parenting” role.

As it was, I was fortunate enough to find a “breastfeeding mothers group” that was for MOTHERS only (except for a few specific information sessions). It was my escape and time to relax and bond with my child without having to be constantly watched and criticised.

Those WOMEN and that safe space for MOTHERS/WOMEN only saved my life.

There is the risk by redefining the group as for ‘parents’ a woman (or transman) in a relationship with a dangerous or controlling partner is accompanied to the group by said partner. This not only changes the dynamic of the group and means that some groups of women are then excluded (eg orthodox religious), it means a woman experiencing DV has one less place/service she can ask for help and seek support. The group organisers need to look at the impact of the change holistically.