Children in Need

[McDuffy]

My kids' nursery has asked for donations for dressing up days for CiN. I used to donate a fair bit every year but I don't want to if they're supporting Mermaids. Do I tell the nursery why or just not donate?
Context: I've had a bit of a GC battle this week at work and I'm feeling a bit bruised from it so not sure I have the headspace for another one so soon. Not that it would be a battle!

Have CIN funded Mermaids recently? They don't seem to have anything about Mermaids on their website.

I don't know what CIN give money to,
But you don't have to give your money to anyone, or anything, you dont want to.
Nor do you have to explain yourself.
If anyone at school questions, you just say its not a charity I choose to support.

Your money. Your life. You decide where you stand. No explanations required.

Agreed - no need to justify if you're not up for a confrontation. You could pick one of the many judicial reviews and tell them that you've made a donation there instead?

If you are, then a brief, "I never support any organisation that funds Mermaids. Too many safeguarding breaches" should do.

It was given £125,000 by CiN in 2018

You don't owe anyone an explanation but if you feel you might be put on the spot and say something you don't want to, you could just say you've had to tighten your belt (covid) or you've used up all your allocation for charity elsewhere

I think I read somewhere on here that the BBC took the Mermaids link off their website.

So has CIN/BBC raised money for a charity and then subsequently removed public traces of them...?

Doesn’t imply good governance. I don’t trust the BBC anymore.

You are free to choose whichever charity you like - CIN or any other.

I would just say that you have your own charities that you contribute to?

You don't need to say anything. In a situation like this I don't think it's appropriate to lecture a nursery employee about being "gender critical"

If you have to lie as to why you don’t want to donate to them then you should probably reconsider your stance. Children in need donate to 3000 causes. God forbid you help a vulnerable trans kid.

@Conniethesensible

If you have to lie as to why you don’t want to donate to them then you should probably reconsider your stance. Children in need donate to 3000 causes. God forbid you help a vulnerable trans kid.

If they helped vulnerable trans kids then great. Unfortunately they have decided to fund mermaids instead.

God forbid you help a vulnerable trans kid.

What is a 'trans kid'? Do you mean a child who doesn't conform to the gender stereotypes that have been placed upon them since birth? And is now being told that that means that there is something 'wrong' with them which might need 'correcting' further down the line with off label drugs and irreversible surgery?

God forbid you help a vulnerable trans kid.

What - like supporting a charity that pushes children into a life time of hormones, surgery, sterilisation, sexual dysfunction etc based on regressive and toxic gender stereotypes - to validate the needs of adults - when with just psychological support - most will naturally desist.

Really can’t think why that might not be a good idea.

If you can bear it, I would tell them actually, unemotionally: that you have safeguarding concerns around one of the charities they support. I expect they have no idea and are probably just trying to do a Good Thing. Ask them if there is a different children’s charity you can support instead, if you want to be supportive of the spirit of the exercise.

Thanks Choos. That's a good approach. Do wonder if they're off the list for CiN now that govt advice has changed.

@Conniethesensible

If you have to lie as to why you don’t want to donate to them then you should probably reconsider your stance. Children in need donate to 3000 causes. God forbid you help a vulnerable trans kid.

I wasn't saying I was going to lie I was just wondering whether to tell them why I wasn't donating or not bother. I tend to spend my donations budget on crowdjustice at the moment( no tip) rather than charities that don't align with my values.

My kids school are also donating to CIN and i also really don't want to contribute. I actually didn't even know they donated to Mermaids but just the entire charity is a vehicle for Richard Curtis and Emma Freud to promote themselves and rub shoulders with their celeb mates, their white saviour complex and the fact they're sitting on tens of millions of pounds.

The whole thing is just ugh. I don't know how to get out of it though.

We don't donate to CiN anymore either. We do support several local charities and donate directly. I'll choose where my money goes and it won't be to Mermaids.

A bit of a tangent, but I do wonder if the day of the mega-charity-telethon type thing is coming to an end. All these annual appeal type, not just CiN but comic Relief, Sports Relief - any and all that act as an intermediary, passing on the money collected to charities that they have selected. And how did they select them? I'm guessing the charities have to apply for the money, jumping through administrative hoops to qualify just to ask. And the GenericTelethon will have to check all those applications and consider how much to give.

So I end up wondering how much of the donations leaks away in administrative costs, how much it costs the charities whose applications are rejected, how much time it takes for the money to reach the successful applicants. Add all that to the question 'do they give money to the charities I want to support' and I just decided some years ago to donate directly to the charities that are important to me. All small, all local. Because lets face it, many of the large national charities have six-figure salaries for their senior staff, questionable treatment of their volunteers, and the odd scandal in the papers.

I know it can be argued that the nature of these GenericTelethons is such that they raise money that wouldn't otherwise be raised, but it still leaves me uncomfortable. Uncomfortable at how that money is raised (e.g. how much wheedling and browbeating takes place) and uncomfortable about how it is distributed.

A bit of a tangent, but I do wonder if the day of the mega-charity-telethon type thing is coming to an end.

I agree with this, the BBC itself seems to be losing it's relevancy and these mega charity events seem a bit dated now.

@Conniethesensible

If you have to lie as to why you don’t want to donate to them then you should probably reconsider your stance. Children in need donate to 3000 causes. God forbid you help a vulnerable trans kid.

OP hadn’t mentioned lying, what was said was “Do I tell the nursery why or just not donate? ”