Support thread for weary women

[AvocadoBathroom]

I think periodically I start these but it might be helpful for others too.
Just a thread of support for everyone who is feeling upset and burned out by this today. A thread to say how you feel but also add little lights to.
Sometimes my daughter says "I hate being a woman because of what we gave to deal with." and I say "We have to fight for women. We dont turn our back on ourselves." She likes this response.
She said this week that of it wasn't for all the sunlight JK Rowling has poured on this she would be trans now. Two girls in her class and counting are saying they are at school to teachers. The teachers are affirming it.
My win this week is that my beautiful Aspergers girl remains a girl.
My losses this week are energy and time. I'm also fighting a bullying case in my work with my abusive boss so I am wiped out.
I feel like this is my only safe space where you good women share energy and the will to keep fighting.

Girls like your DD are one of the reasons many of us persist.

Sorry you're having such a tough time at work too. "Illegitimi non carborundum".

Less upset and burned out than now really, seriously angry and determined. And done with the bullshit.

for you and your daughter. More and more women are seeing through this, and the more outrageous and obvious the misogyny becomes, the easier our job of protecting women's rights gets.

flowers to you and commiserations about yr boss.

I love yr saying about not turning our backs. It's true, you're strong & we will get there!

Having to bite my tongue at work today. It's bloody hard working in the public sector these days. I am surrounded by woke young things. I just want them to wake up!

My boss has a trans person in the family so nothing can be said there without me being a bigot and just beeee kiiiiind.
My Facebook is slowly filling up with stuff about this but no one comments. Assume they are all still too scared or think I'm a bigot.
The stupid irresponsible "managed zone" in Leeds is still active and that really pisses me off.
But as a pp said, we do it for all the aspergers children too.

My Facebook is slowly filling up with stuff about this but no one comments. Assume they are all still too scared or think I'm a bigot.

I would also consider that fb uses lots of algorithms and actively suppresses some issues.

I went and had a look at the tens of thousands of comments under the JK Rowling petition. Thousands of decent women (and men) commenting and standing up for JKR and clearly against the eradication of women's rights. Just under 21,000 people.

We are NOT alone. We are in the majority.

www.ipetitions.com/petition/in-solidarity-with-jk-rowling

I found this article about facing abuse and found it helpful (especially after today's revelation that we have to face yet another legal assault on our existence.)

pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2016/05/how-to-confront-an-abusive-person/

Hi OP, our DD's and our GDD's and our Great GDD's are why we fight this fight. I sometimes despair at it all, at the misogyny, the online hatred, the eye rolls even on this website (not on FWR but other areas), the constant underlying fear (I am fearful of attack all the time, while walking, while running in the park, while out alone in the car - yes it is tragic as a middle aged woman but I now realise that attack and rape is not about youth and attraction, it is about power and hurt. So, thank you for starting this thread.

When I despair I find the following useful, I stand in my garden, or in my room overlooking the garden, or I stand under a tree in the park, and I look at the sky and I list all the beauty and wonder I know in my life right now. To-day I stopped while DS played in the park and I watched a perfect rainbow over the stunning autumnal trees and I was glad to be alive.

Sometimes, that is all we need to recharge. Also, when you are really low, I would advise taking a break from all the activism and staying off line for a week or so and recharge your batteries with some great books; great music or great art - whatever takes you out of the present.

Big love to you and to your daughter OP .

For me it would be worth fighting this for all the women I don't know but my two year old niece is who I am thinking of every time the next policy or change appears over the horizon. Its for my friends daughter with autism who may be affected as she tried to navigate the social mores. And am also looking back at all the amazing, strong, confident lesbian and bi women I knew at Uni who these days may have been told simply that they were in the wrong body rather than being able to live their lives as themselves

Strength and best wishes to all the women affected, or whose loved ones or peace of mind is under attack by this reworked misogyny. Same old misogyny deceitfully made out to be progress by slapping a pretend new title on it.

I am so weary. Thanks op. ust feel exhausted and despairing.

Autistic daughter was forewarned that people might want to call her a boy because she finds"boys" clothes more comfortable. Thanks to you lot!.

Thanks, OP. I am so very fucking weary tonight.

Weary is exactly how I feel tonight. Thank you all.

I’m supporting you OP, cheering you on. Your daughter is lucky to have you.
And take the time you need to breathe. Sometimes Time Out is useful and renews us.

hugs Avobathroom

I get days of rage and weariness where there is just not enough chocolate to make a difference. However today 700 women have told the UNwomen's account to bogg off from making us 'support humans' we are many we are growing we will support each other.

@AvocadoBathroom thanks for this.

What a lovely thing to say to your daughter and how amazing is she.

I go from sadness, anger, weariness and happiness for some little wins.

Wish I knew how to do more

It's something that when you wake up to this shit you can't unsee it

On another thread, I was amazed, dismayed, but not surprised by the amount of people saying "just don't engage, ignore, keep your head down".

We have to keep going, to make up for the people keeping their heads down. But I'm weary too. Sometimes it seems so one sided.

Like @Siameasy - I'm getting braver. I've had conversations with three separate groups/friends recently and was shocked that the youngest member (27) was totally TWANW. But what I did find was that, unless you’re dealing with someone who understands the complexities of the debate, it’s pointless. What you end up doing is effectively battering them over the head with your bible of information you’ve gathered, while they sit there dumbfounded going “but they only want to go for a wee in the women’s toilets”

I’m public sector and I have posted stuff on FB about prisons, the GRA and the Keira Bell case.
I cannot see anything wrong with that.

I was chatting to a friend’s daughter the other day (11) and she thinks the entire thing (gender ideology) is nonsense. I also have teen family members who think it’s “attention seeking”

OP, you read my mind. Weary is how I feel tonight. But take heart. Read the comments under Alice Thomson’s article in the Times. A year ago there were a handful of commenters raising issues about this ideology on articles like hers. Now there are over 600 thoughtful, articulate comments pointing out the fact that women’s rights are very definitely and very dangerously under attack here. People see this now - people who are not as exhausted as those of us who have been seeing it for years.

Thanks for this thread. I often feel that if I'd known how awfully women would be treated I wouldn't have had my DC, because the thought of them having to deal with this misogynist hideous shit appalls me so much. But I have had them, so I just have to keep fighting for their rights, and try to provide them with the tools to deal with it when they encounter it.

I look at the world differently now, for sure.

I’m GC at work, everyone knows I am and being critical of the harmful construct that is gender ought not to be an issue imo so I shall continue