Women too young to get tubes tied

[FuckedyFuck]

So I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, I’m the sort that gets pregnant so easily and have got pregnant on various birth control. (I understand I’m lucky in some respect)

I begged them to tie my tube after my last section, they refused as I’m too young (under 35)
It got me thinking about all of this stuff, why am I as a woman not allowed to decide I’m done having kids until I’m 35 but if I said I was trans, I could be made permanently infertile at 18.

I understand the comments of gender dysphoria being distressing but for me personally, I find this position I’m in quite difficult too.

Why are some women denied the decision to remove fertility but other people not? I could change my mind but so could many people about different procedures?

I hope this makes sense. Wondered what feminist opinions were.

The reason given for it being 30 is the high regret rate, 20%. However what they don’t consider is that 20% is the regret rate for all women, including women who decide shortly before giving birth or who are pressured into it by their partners. Women who have never wanted children and never had any have a regret rate of 6%.

I was refused and the only reason I was given was my age. The consultant suggested I get an implant instead which I had already tried. Clearly she hadn’t even bothered to read my notes before deciding. I wrote a complaint pointing this out, that I had tried or was unsuitable for every contraceptive type (and that a vasectomy would not solve this if I broke up with my partner), and that the doctors I had seen had repeatedly lied to me about the failure rate of the mirena and sterilisation being the same (and were dumb enough to do it in writing). I was then accepted at 28. Still got yet another bloody mirena pitch and my fourth “but what does your partner think?” at my pre-op appointment of course.

A reason I have heard for them preferring vasectomies over female sterilisation is that sterilisation has a risk of death. However, so does pregnancy and I’ve never heard of a couple trying to conceive have a doctor speak to them about this.

It used to be that the NHS website did not mention age on the vasectomy page but only the sterilisation one. This has since changed though. Knowing someone who works in vasectomies, they do seem happier to ignore this for men though. Additionally, vasectomies are not completely reversible, same as sterilisation. This seems to be less discussed regarding vasectomies however.

@testing987654321

they don't act on decisions re sterilisation taken whilst pregnant.

What's the reasoning? That you may change your mind? That it's a turbulent time not good for decision making.

Nothing like going through adolescence of course.

Well, quite.

It seems that the 'general medical opinion' (if such a thing exists) is that women in their 20s have enough of a chance of changing their minds that it means doctors are more cautious, particularly because it's seen as higher-risk surgery.

Buuuuuut 13 year olds are totes able to make decisions to permanently alter their bodies and have major, risky surgery that will impact on their entire lives and future fertility?

My dog had a vasectomy in 1999 after DC2 was born

Um...... did he give informed consent?

Oh god, Dh , not my dog

Bloody auto correct

@EmmaGrundyForPM

Oh god, Dh , not my dog

Bloody auto correct

So many jokes, so little time.

I had to give 'permission' for my DH's vasectomy (and the cats) over the phone as part of his telephone counselling session. He just handed the phone over, so I could have been any random woman, and I pointed out that it was his body and we had 4 kids and we all had a laugh and that was it. I don't know what would have happened if he'd refused to let her speak to me though.

That was Marie Stopes in 2012, btw.

This ridiculousness about women not knowing their own minds really helps abusers who control their victims through repeatedly impregnating them.

Women are basically seen as walking uteruses by the medical establishment, and, to an extent, by wider society. You can take the "woman" out of the reproductive system, but god forbid you take the reproductive system out of the woman!

That's just it. It's the same with the women in Doha. They can call us whatever they want to and deny that identity is sex-based as much as they like, but when the chips are down they will still judge and define women by our bodies. The only point of difference is that I'd add that women are seen as walking uteruses, vaginas and breasts by the wider society - not seen as having full personhood, but defined by our function and use for men.

I was told I would die if I had another baby, it would also be tricky to be sterilised (scarring etc. I've had a shedload of lifesaving surgery).

Even in this situation DH was denied a vasectomy based on our age being under 35 (we were 33). He went back the day after his 35th birthday!

It's so arbitrary and controlling, but I don't think 18 yo should be allowed to throw their fertility away to resolve dysphoria either.

I'd be interested to know if men change their minds very often. I've never really heard.

Young men are also refused vasectomies on the grounds that they are too young and may change their minds. I know several who have. Of course, they are all adamant that the definitely won't want to have kids.
The fact remains, people do change their minds. How can a doctor spot those who will change their minds and those who won't?
And vasectomy is virtually non-invasive, and usually reversible.
If women are refused more than men, it's easy to see why, in my opinion.

It baffles me that sterilisation us considered this "regret ladened" procedure whilst trans procedures, terminations are just not seen in the same category.

If a woman has autonomy over her body, she has it. Period. Not that she has it for procedure a,b but not c.

And it's the medical profession who " decides" which the "c" is, based on ......... what exactly.

All of the above are major life decisions, either women are deemed capable or not , the current situation is insulting.

Is the idea that women may regret having our tubes tied based on any actual evidence? e.g. regret rates or something like that?

I'm wondering if it could be evidence that may be submitted to the new Women and Equality Committee's Inquiry in response to their question about lowering the age at which teenagers can get a GRA.

The reason they won't do a sterilisation, m or f, while you're pregnant or in the first few months of a baby's life is in case of the baby's death before, at or shortly after birth.

Iirc, we had to wait until the last baby was 6 months or so. It was DH having the snip; I'd been pulled about quite enough, thank you!

So many threads on here with women battling for years sometimes decades for this op.

Meanwhile hormonal contraception which is hardly neutral for many women and girls due to the side effects is dished out liberally. And with the longer term ones, when there are serious side effects, often real problems getting them removed. It's shit.

I'm still puzzled at this. Anyone can, it seems, trot into a plastic surgeon and get breast implants or nose reshaping without questioning . They could get something like a graffiti tattoo across their face. They might regret it, or want it altered later.

The only reason for the difference about scrapping unwanted fertility is, presumably, because of the unshaken notion that men own women's fertility, plus the only point of a woman's existence is because she is a neatly packaged womb plus broom. You (man) own one for the purpose of raping it whenever you choose, so it breeds strings of babies for you and works as a household slave.

That would be the boiled down version, and wouldn't be expressed, but it must still linger in the back of the minds of those who can instantly accept a woman's wishes over her own body, except her reproductive system, which is not hers to control.

I think people who do cosmetic surgeries of that kind are a whole different kettle of fish as doctors. There are plenty of doctors who wouldn't touch that kind of thing and think it's immoral.

The trans procedures in kids have only been justified IMO on the basis that they are lifesaving, or for puberty blockers, reversible. As soon as you remove those elements it's completely impossible to justify them in terms of normal medical practice.

I know of situations where women have been denied hysterectomies unfairly but I understand why they are careful. It's ridiculous that consideration seems to go out of the window when it comes to unhappy teenagers. I don't buy that gender dysphoria is so much harder to deal with than anything else in the world and that that's why this approach is needed. Actually I believe many of us suffer from GD in some way even if we don't go to the extent of labelling ourselves trans, because gender stereotypes suck. Dysphoria about sexed body parts is another matter, one that many do not seem to suffer with, but again I see no difference between that and eating disorders, bdd and so on.

Ha! As I’ve said on here before, I was denied a hysterectomy....in my early 60s, constant heavy bleeding but “nothing wrong”. Had Mirena instead, which makes for painful cramping. I still have a cycle, and though unusual, I’m not unique.

I am too young at 33.

The doctor acknowledges how disastrous another pregnancy would be for me..the last one left me with lifelong issues and on massive doses of painkillers/other medication. Yet, still 'you might change your mind'

think they are much keener to do it if you are having a C Section because:
A) they are opening you up anyway so doesn't add much in the way of risk or money; and
B) having lots of C section births is risky (eg in terms of risks like placenta accreta), so it is quite sensible to get sterilised after 2 or 3 C sections even if you would ideally like a larger family.

Not in our local hospitals they won't. I asked when pregnant with my 2nd and the consultant refused to discuss it, dismissing me with a "maybe after 3 or 4". A friend saw a different consultant whilst pregnant with her 3rd (2 previous emergency sections) and was essentially told not to be so silly.

Reading this thread hurts. You can be a volunteer live organ or egg donor. There are risks. You might later regret it. There is no bar, apparently. I think even children can donate, in extreme situations such as giving bone marrow to a sibling.