Just ‘be kind’

[SmallPug]

How do you counter all those ‘be kind’, or ‘it’s just being nice’ comments. They drive me absolutely nuts. It’s not kind or nice to divorce meanings from words - it has unintended consequences. It’s not kind or nice to erase women. It’s not kind to insist women tolerate men in their spaces. I’m so FURIOUS at the implication that I’m just being a big meany.

Being kind leads to women/girls losing out to males on things set up to help them achieve parity.
Be kind? You first!

We live in a country where a law has had to be passed to stop men effectively blaming the woman they killed during sex for their own death.

Fuck being kind.

It's good to work out in your own head or discuss why 'be kind' is irrelevant.

But honestly, if someone uses that line then generally whether they mean it to be or not, it's just a diversion, don't go there, there's no point arguing it. It's meaningless.

'Women's prisons should be single sex for their safety'
'be kind' - in what way does this address the issue? It's meaningless.

'Women should be entitled to ask for and get a female HCP'
'be kind' - this is not relevant.

'Children should be given factual information about sex and not be told their clothes/toys have any bearing on their being a girl or a boy'
'be kind' - again, it's just meaningless.

I suppose it's a kind of tone policing. A way to stop the issues from being discussed.

It's also not 'kindness' to suggest that 'transitioning' will solve childrens' problems - as far as I'm aware the Tavistock's own research suggested mental health outcomes were worse after transitioning.

'Kindness' isn't always about pandering, or pretending, or going along with something. Kindness (which I value greatly) sometimes involves upsetting boats, telling the truth even though it's difficult, asking questions instead of turning a blind eye. Real, genuine kindness means connecting with honesty and compassion, not just doing what you're told in case someone gets upset. That isn't kindness, it's emotional manipulation/blackmail, and no good for anyone.

My kindness, like my feminism, is primarily concerned with women's safety, rights and protections.

Kind. It seems like such an innocuous word but it's become a real wolf in sheep's clothing, used by the vacuous and the intolerant to shut women up. Ignore or respond with another less oblique four letter word of your choosing.

"Protecting my children from harm takes precedence over being kind imo"

I have found this a helpful phrase in the past

"Be kind " to individual trans women, go in hard on the lobby groups and the institutions that are blindly accepting this ideology.

According to Companies House, Stonewall Equality Limited which is now primarily a trans rights agenda group recieve yearly funding from the Department for education, the foreign and commonweath office, NHS Scotland, and the Scottish and Welsh government. It's not huge sums, but enough to employ a large staff of professionals to push the agenda and this has been going on for years. We are literally paying taxes for our rights to be eroded. Over the last few years they have been consulting and installing "mentorship" programmes in all the country's key infrastructure under the guise of inclusivity, it's very Orwelian.

Freely available to view.
find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/company/02412299/filing-history

It has a yearly budget of £10million (not all publically funded) By contrast fairplay for women is croudfunding to reach £30,000.

"In a world where you can be anything, be kind"

Fuck off.

Be kind is an industry now. I saw a range of t shirts, gym bottles etc - all aimed at women with #bekind on. I often see it on clothing aimed at little girls, teen girls and women. Rarely on male clothing yet it’s men who need to be kind to other men who are “different”. It’s mainly men who are unkind to gay men, to feminine men and to trans sexuals. Traditionally, these men sought friendships with women. There’s a word for it - “fag hag”.

Being kind gets sands tweeting about them birthing parent’. How bloody ‘unkind’ is that?

‘why don’t you want to be inclusive’

I do. I want to include transmen in women's spaces. And I fully expect men to be inclusive by welcoming transwomen in their spaces.

So many great responses here, Thanks. Stonewall’s funding is insane, @AI77. I would love to help FPFW more - I’ve donated but there must be more we could do.

Channel Swearygodmother & #fuckkind keep standing up for women & girls