Periodically this stuff comes up on some of the large Facebook groups I’m on. A poster will say that their 10-year-old daughter has said they are non-binary or their 13-year-old daughter is pan sexual. Or pansexual and non binary.
What depresses me about these posts is that lots of vigorous responders insist primary school aged children know who they are and that their wishes must be completely respected and implemented without challenge. Oh and also recommending the charity Mermaids as a great form of support. Any suggestion that it might be worth exploring WHY the child feels the way that they do is deemed, at best, being unsupportive.
And part of me wants to say Oh come off it. Aged 10 I was horrified by the idea of female puberty and I did not identify with the stereotypical female activities that a number of my peers went in for. And so 10-year-old me in 2020 or indeed 15-year-old me in 2020 (Who hated her body, the hormones and the reaction men gave) Would quite likely be identified as non-binary or possibly as a transboy. After all if you can identify out of all that ickiness then why not. And maybe a slice of pan sexuality (although with no intention of sexual contact with anyone soon thanks) for extra specialness or status.
Once or twice in the past I have suggested Mumsnet as another place for Parents to look for information But find I get Very negative reaction and I’m told I am advertising Trans-phobic hate sites.
I’m on Facebook under my own name and 20 seconds of googling will bring you my work information. So sadly I really feel there is a real limit to what I can say as my employer has been Stonewalled.
I therefore find myself in a position where I don’t feel I can say anything much but yet not saying anything gives posters and healthy one-sided view. It just makes me so sad.