Non-binary advert for Sainsbury’s Tu

[SabrinasCat]

I’m possibly a bit late to the party on this one but has anyone seen the Sainsbury’s/Tu advert in Stylist Magazine from 12 days ago?

Tessa identifies as non-binary and refers to themselves in the third person. To fully embrace their new non-binary identity they have rejected flowery dresses in favour of a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a blue waisted-belt coat (all available from Tu, in the women’s section).

That’s all fine. Fair enough. Tessa can wear exactly what Tessa wants, and to be fair Tessa looks great.

But I do wonder how someone like Tessa (who identifies as neither a man or a woman) would be categorised in Sainsbury’s gender pay gap report. At Sainsbury’s men are currently paid 10% more than women. Only 33% of top roles are filled by women, and (if I have understood the poorly presented figures correctly) men receive a bonus that is almost 60% higher than women’s bonuses.

Nice blue coat though.

www.stylist.co.uk/fashion/gender-identity-fashion-clothing-choices/429403

I feel very non-binary today, I think I'll just pop on that boiler suit of mine with the frilly, floral collar and go and build a wall.

@eleventylevennamechanges

I'm sitting in jeans, Merrill hiking shoes and a check shirt - all unisex I suppose but I'm definitely a woman. Clothing doesn't define us, I just youngsters would understand this, just wear what you want, no statement about gender identity needed. (My dp has a flowery shirt on with his jeans for comparison btw, he's definitely a man )

@GratedExposure

But... but... I thought gender identity had nothing to do with clothes preference now?

Good point.

Gender identity is to do with whatever is most convenient at the time of talking be that clothes, make up, interests etc. It's not supposed to make any sense or have any bearing in reality.

The coat is in the women's clothing collection....

It's all so exhausting. I don't wear flowery things. I favour trousers and boots, jumpers and t shirts.

But the non binary woman I know wears dresses. Is she not non binary?

It just feels like heterosexual people trying to make themselves more edgy tbh

The whole idea of 'non binary' is so stiflingly sexist. FFS, my generation wore (and wear) what we wanted and no one batted an eyelid. I had a donkey jacket at one point. The boys wore flowery shirts and had perms. We didn't need to come out as anything, or define ourselves in any way with ridiculous pronouns.

It really is such a load of bollocks.

I am wearing a black jumper that belongs to my husband. A pair of black jeans and black Dr Martins.
My hair is shorter than DH.

I am sooooo non binary ... get me !

Two things jump out at me in Tessa's account: familial pressure to conform to a particular stereotype (as so often is the case), and a hefty dollop of blinkered self-importance combined with internalised misogyny.

Tessa really wants the world to know that Tessa is not like all those other, lowly, inferior, prettified girls who revel in the shackles of their oppression.

Newsflash, Tessa: neither are the rest of us. The Other you're disidentifying with is an illusion.

Tessa is #NotLikeTheOtherGirls we get it

There's definitely becoming a real willingness to laugh at the nonsense of non-binary (find the ventilator comment on this thread)

twitter.com/scrufwiththecat/status/1317122977268367360

Whilst this is great I suspect that especially among young people there's a tendency to regard the whole thing as a load of bollocks which doesn't affect them very much. Which allows TRAs quite a lot of room to manoeuvre.

Ok, I laughed out loud at the blue vs. pink ventilator...and I've laughed and made fun of plenty of non-binary nonsense from the youth of today, (especially as I look much like an older version of NB just for choosing comfortable shoes). But there's also a particular sadness about this 'proclamation of identity'. It's easy to dismiss it as attention seeking, but knowing a few NB irl, they aren't the kids who wanted notoriety, they are more likely to be the kids who don't fit in, the kids who you want to say, "Hey, it will get easier when you're 25." When I was growing up and going through any number of identity stages, there was no way to proclaim my latest goth stage to the world...social media has done a number on what might, in the past, just been an awkward stage of growing up you could quickly forget about. But now society either takes part in their delusions of revolution (marketing) or mocks them from afar.
I'm sure if the NB kid sees the joking, they jump immediately to, "These terrible people hate me," which seems just sad, because it's like they missed out on just being awkward young people who can privately figure themselves out.

A woman wearing jeans. How novel...

I have no problem with people (young or not) exploring their sense of identity through experimenting with clothes, haircuts, and other things.
For surely, we have all been there (sooner or later, and sometimes more than once) and it's a healthy process.

I cannot, however, understand, why these young people apparently have such rigid old fashioned ideas regarding "socially accepted gender norms". It's like the last century or so never happened? I really don't get it. Were they put in hibernation in the 1920s and just reemerged a week ago?
Why are they so blindingly ignorant of the last few decades?
I'm a bit our of the loop with fashion, but I'm fairly sure young women wearing jeans was still a thing 10 years ago, and no one blinked? So what's with this rewriting of history?

I think you're right, Delphinium, that teen awkwardness is very prickly and easily turns to hurt.

So your mum tried to turn you into a lady.

Oh god!!! I have role modeled not being a lady for my daughter despite her wanting me to wear ‘pretty’ clothes when she was at primary school. I feel like I have failed. Now she is borrowing my clothes that are 20 -30 years old. I remember my mum finding it very funny when she gave me her 60s dresses to wear in the late 80s. I loved them and still have a couple that I don’t wear but love to get them out.

I believe the ‘look’ at the moment for these girls that are going for non-conformity is what we wore in the late 80/early 90s. (Goth included). Even down to buying a men’s fine and pale Glen tartan pattern blazer from the charity shop to wear with a t-shirt and jeans and boots! I used to make my own waist coats and now wish I still had them. I also stole my boyfriend (now husbands) flannel shirts to wear over my tshirts. My daughter has just done the same to him this year and he has accepted it with a chuckle. The fashion cycle has come around again but now it is being used as an ‘identity’.

Never did I think I was dressing like a boy or being non-conforming. It was just my style, the one I could afford, borrow or make myself being a year 11/12 supporting myself. My heart breaks for the kids who think that to like this is a symbol of non-conforming.

Hopefully more of our kids will just think this is normal clothing and not read any more into it.

@AsTreesWalking

I think you're right, Delphinium, that teen awkwardness is very prickly and easily turns to hurt.

Tessa is not a teenager. She is 28. She was involved with basketball at a serious level and won a sports scholarship to the US. I found her birth date on a basketball site.