Help please

[sunshinesupermum]

I have two daughters both in their 30s and one is ashamed of me and calls me a TERF because I support JKR etc. Both of them are fully supportive of the trans argument and yesterday my elder daughter retweeted this 'Hey Rosie Duffield. I'm a woman and I'm having my say: TRANS RIGHTS ARE NOT A THREAT TO CIS WOMEN AND YOUR TRANSPHOBIA CAN GET IN THE BIN'

I read Rosie Duffield's interview in yesterday's Times and fully agree with her. This whole issue upsets me greatly because I can't see us coming back from it while we hold such opposing views. It's worse than Brexit for me personally.

They seem to conveniently forget that all women, whether feminists or not, of my era (1970s) had it far tougher than the small number of transwomen who they support today and don't see that our hard-won freedoms look to be erased. (eg threats to abortion rights in the USA). I brought them up to be feminists. They are both university-educated (unlike me) and can argue the hind leg off a donkey.

Any advice as to how to handle this as it sure doesn't look like the trans issue is going away any time soon. Thanks for reading.

You might want to get this moved to the main FWR board as not many people check this one.

I don't know tbh - avoid for the sake of a quiet life? Raise specific issues like the recent world rugby decision and ask them to explain their position?

First and foremost, ask yourself what you hope to gain and why? Are you aiming to persuade them to change their views? Are you aiming simply to persuade them that GC feminists are not evil incarnate?

One starting point for me would be to push them really hard on whether they think (in a world where Jo Cox was assassinated for her views on Brexit) that it's okay for an elected female politician to have to live with credible death threats because of her position?

I think fairness in sport and penises in women's prisons are good starting points for discussion where they may be able to see beyond the be kind attitude.
Good luck

It sounds like they are educated and articulate and have been brought up with strong morals. These morals, on this occasion, don't fit with yours, but you have as much right to argue and 'deal with' their opinions, and convince them to change their minds as they do to you.

Just because their opinions are different, it, in no way means they are wrong.

Your argument of "we had it tougher" is wrong, the struggles are completely comparible , transgender people have it very tough, and regarding abortion rights in the US, have you seen what is happening to trans rights in the US as well? And there is a lot about JK that is very problematic, she was deliberately controversial about a whole group of people in order to, as it later transpired, sell a book, although she did it under the guise of feminism so everyone would rush out to support her after the backlash she created, she played the public like a fiddle, and one of her pen names is the same as the guy who invented gay conversion therapy, of all the names in all the world she could have chosen, why that particular one?

In short, just avoid the topic, trying to persuade them out of their opinions will cause arguments and piss them off. They are adults who are free to hold their own opinions even if you don't agree.