I miss being in female-only spaces

[spiderbride]

This must seem like a petty thing to whinge about but I really do miss it.

In fact, part of the reason I joined this forum (despite not being a mum) was that it's mostly other women (also because I am an auntie to a number of kids and want to be able to support the other mums in my life, but the gender demographic was a significant bonus). But it's not the same as being there physically and not having any blokes around to harsh the vibe, so to speak.

The last time I was in a properly all-female space was a spiritual retreat more than half a decade ago. Now I WFH with my male partner, who is lovely but still a dude, still placing all those emotional demands without knowing he's doing it, still not quite understanding where I'm coming from sometimes.

Am I alone in feeling like this?

No you are not alone

I don’t know what the answer is. It’s hard to have any kind of company now outside of our homes. Some women in unhappy marriages must feel more alone than ever without the comfort of female friends to get them by. I know there’s phone calls and messaging but not the same.

I agree about the harshing of the vibe .

My husband and I would love to run a retreat centre in the future. In this current climate, however, I am very worried that we will not be ABLE to run single-sex retreats.
We actually met at a retreat centre. During our time there, there was a retreat entitled "awakening the womb" and it was for women-only (FYI he was there as a volunteer, not a retreatant).
I am concerned that by the time we will have our own centre to run, we'll be branded as bigots for doing such a similar thing.

No, you aren't alone. I'd love some time in a female only space, especially a feminist space.

Ahhh the his would be the dream, wouldn't it? Just to be in a space with other women who without discussing "it', "get it".

No, it’s not just you.

I really enjoy my Pilates group (zoom at the moment) because although it’s not officially women only, in practice there’s only ever an occasional bloke and they haven’t ever been the takeover types.

Join a running group and jog really slowly.

Never yet met a chap who’s prepared to trot along miles behind everyone else in order to have a good natter.

@littleredberries I'm sure the law allows it if you have a reason....even if the reason is it's a female group for biological females. As long as you aren't running a group with no need for single sex, like, I dunno, a book club, then it's fine.

I walked up a mountain with of my friends and our dogs on Saturday morning. It was wonderful to just be in the company of adult females.

[quote Sugarygoodness]@littleredberries I'm sure the law allows it if you have a reason....even if the reason is it's a female group for biological females. As long as you aren't running a group with no need for single sex, like, I dunno, a book club, then it's fine.[/quote]
A trans man could throw a spanner in the works? If they complained that the focus on women was transphobic, and that our services was not providing for them? Or generally trans women, feeling excluded by the focus on biology?
I'm not tying to be alarmist but surely the meaningful erasure of "sex" in our society is headed this way? But I do hope you're right.

I agree. I have a male DP and two DS.
We had a women only social once at work (on zoom) and it just felt so different to the mixed ones.
I am a member of a women's cycling club though, which is so far just female. A bit like the running comment above, the gentle rides would probably be too slow for most males.

I said this to my mum recently. I live with my dh and 2 sons and really miss female company.
I have realised that in normal times I don’t prioritise this enough.

I agree. Recently I was taking Thursday afternoons off to go for a big walk with my sister and it was brilliant. We talked for hours. She’s back at work now (teacher) and I’m WFH so my only physical company is DH and 3 year old DS.

@littleredberries you’d think your retreat would be ok to go ahead when things like pregnancy yoga do. I’ve never seen any complaints about stuff like Yoga Bellies only being for pregnant women.

@AgentCooper

I agree. Recently I was taking Thursday afternoons off to go for a big walk with my sister and it was brilliant. We talked for hours. She’s back at work now (teacher) and I’m WFH so my only physical company is DH and 3 year old DS.

@littleredberries you’d think your retreat would be ok to go ahead when things like pregnancy yoga do. I’ve never seen any complaints about stuff like Yoga Bellies only being for pregnant women.

After having watched that "Seahorse" documentary on the guardian, I'm worried that "pregnant women" retreats etc will not be ok. It will have to be "pregnant people" retreats... But I'm not trying to force this issue. I'm genuinely worried about the current trend. I've had nightmares about people comparing me to that bakery that refused to bake a gay cake etc, if anyone remembers that, because I doubt we'll be able to cater to "pregnant trans men". But that's a WHOLE other kettle of fish and I don't want to derail this thread. Sorry OP!

I think you'd statistically be very, very unlucky to have that situation arise, littleredberries.

I joined the WI recently for this very reason.

I agree, SpiderBride, and I think many other women feel the same way. I love being with DH, but a women-only space is very special.

I hope recent progress such as the Maya Forstater judgement will reverse the movement against women’s right to single-sex spaces. Lockdown loneliness is another problem, and I think you have to seize your chance of contact with other women outdoors, as it’s the safest place and less often banned under Covid rules.

The very expression "letting one's hair down" summons images of relaxing and chatting in a private female space! I would hate to lose that.