Old-fashioned patriarchal language in the media

[Blackcountryman12]

I am interested in gender and language and I often notice unequal language use in news broadcasts and in newspapers. Something I often notice is the unequal way the words "widow" and "widower" are used. A regional news programme recently referred to the spouse of a man who died as "X's widow", even though she was in the same profession as her husband and even a woman has a profession of her own equal to her husband's she's still referred to in this patriarchal way.

There appears to be no grammatical rules for how widows and widowers should be referred to, but the media still uses the old way of defining a woman by her husband even when he had died when a widowed man is still called a "husband" in relation to his wife.

To my ears, hearing someone referred to as "X's widow" or "the widow of X" sounds a bit harsh as well as stuffy and legal, even Victorian. Some of the words used in the past seem even more harsh, there used to be a word called "relict" than meant widow and I remember when the Queen Mother died, one of her many titles read at the funeral was "reliect of King George VI". I couldn't believe such horribly archaic language was still being used in 2002.

I’m still annoyed about being a geriatric mother!

There's still a tendency for the media to report about "Mr. X and his wife" when some story is about both of them. "Ms. X and her husband" is quite rare in that context. I think that this is because we still think of men as having families and of women as belonging to families, so the latter are defined by their relationship to the former but the former are not defined by that relationship.

It's subtle, though, so harder to spot than the earlier forms of sexed language.

I don't understand the issue with 'widow' and 'widower'. They are simply used to indicate the sex of the person whose partner has died. There's no value judgment or status attached to them, they are pretty neutral as language goes. Being called a widow isn't demeaning for a woman, it is just a word that means 'a woman whose husband has died.' 'Widower' just means a man whose wife has died.

Maybe I'm not seeing something here. Do you bring baggage to the words 'widow' and 'widower', OP? Why do you think that 'widow' is somehow insulting and 'widower' isn't?

Sorry, suddenly realised what you're getting at. Yes, in certain circumstances it's just like saying Julie Jones, wife of Martin Jones the butcher. And yes, it does reflect the fact that for so many hundreds of years men have been acknowledged as the achievers and their wives' achievements have gone unnoticed. But I think it depends very much on context and I think it's changing as more and more women take the spotlight and outshine their spouses.

@nepeta

There's still a tendency for the media to report about "Mr. X and his wife" when some story is about both of them. "Ms. X and her husband" is quite rare in that context. I think that this is because we still think of men as having families and of women as belonging to families, so the latter are defined by their relationship to the former but the former are not defined by that relationship.

It's subtle, though, so harder to spot than the earlier forms of sexed language.

I hadn't noticed the "Mr. X and his wife" in the media as much to be honest. I know some newspapers can still refer to a woman as "a mother of two" or something along the lines of this, even though the article has nothing to do with the fact she has children. Men aren'tas often referred to as "a father of two" or whatever.

I think women's marital statuses are also referred to in the media more, when their marital status has nothing to do with the article.

On a podcast this morning heard someone referring to Ruth Bader Ginsburg's husband, Marty. He was a leading lawyer himself, and an acclaimed academic. They had an amazing relationship and he was proud to be referred to as Ruth Ginsburg's husband. I think there are far more pressing issues of patriarchal language to worry about.

@Shedbuilder

On a podcast this morning heard someone referring to Ruth Bader Ginsburg's husband, Marty. He was a leading lawyer himself, and an acclaimed academic. They had an amazing relationship and he was proud to be referred to as Ruth Ginsburg's husband. I think there are far more pressing issues of patriarchal language to worry about.

I just think, the make it more clear, that it just sounds harsh and old-fashioned to refer to the surviving spouse of a man as "his widow" when the surviving spouse of a woman is still referred to as "her husband". There is no rule in any grammar or usage guides to say that when a married man dies, his spouse can no longer be referred to as "his wife".

It isn't simply the word "widow" I was specifically commenting on, just the way it can be used in contrast to "widower".