Will it ever come to court? -trigger probably

[DrizzleandDamp]

Been on here quite a bit in the past, changed my UN as I can’t remember which one I used and don’t want to link. You were all amazing at the times.

Not sure what I want from this really, but I’m just pondering if I will ever ever hear from the CPS. Has anyone seen/run a case through lately I guess?

Was brutally raped in early 2018. Reported the morning as soon as I could get away as I drove myself to hospital. He was into BDSM, I never was nor did I consent, it was a second date. I had whiplash, bruising to my chest, lots of other nasty stuff. Blood evidence found in his flat.

A full year later I got a letter saying they weren’t prosecuting, couldn’t prove I didn’t consent to the violence, lots of other bullshit. A lovely women’s group helped me do a right to review (directed by you lot!), immediately police told to overturn the decision and pass to CPS.

A full YEAR later police pass to CPS, think it was about Feb this year. It’s now another 8 months later and nothing.

Just think I’m a bit despairing of ever receiving the call/email/knock at the door to tell me their decision either way, and it leaves me in a place I have the background niggle in my mind so I can never just fully move on with life.

drizzle.

The way you have been treated is appalling.

(And remember the old line about paranoia: just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Or in this case, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not trying to bury the complaint.)

@DrizzleandDamp Do you have psychiatric support currently? You sound quite vulnerable. (Unsurprisingly of course, anyone would.)
I would consider writing a formal complaint to the most senior officer at your local police force detailing the long catalogue of errors and mishandling that your case has endured.
The not handing the report on to the CPS, the not monitoring emails. All unacceptable. Police are supposed to be being better at the way they handle and respond to rape cases.
I would copy the complaint to your MP.
Is there a local rape crisis group / charity you could contact for further support? You sound like some self care is needed.
Take care, what you detail here is appalling. I'm so sorry.

Turns out the officer dealing with the case left the force a while ago.

I would be very surprised if he had just left of his own accord.

Z0rr0 I don’t I haven’t re-engaged post lockdown, changed jobs, no childcare help all means I haven’t had the time. Plus old boss knew and understood, new one I kind of don’t want to have the conversation with to get the time. I’m ok when I’m busy quite driven so just get on with it. But I suppose it is manifesting every now and then when I’m not keeping an eye on the tools she gave me. And I haven’t had time to practice any of my self care routines which used to be gym and mindfulness. I just have no idea how to in the current situation. I’m ok though mainly.

We are going to enter an official complaint if the case doesn’t get passed over to CPS in the next month, using it as a bit of a lever to get them to do it (not that I’m currently trusting they’ve even kept the evidence!), so leaving it in the capable hands of the charity without whom I would have no chance. And I’m going to write to my MP, again when I get space to breathe.

I think what I need is time for all of this and right now I’m just running...

I'm very sorry to hear about how poorly you've been treated. I also remember your original thread

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Thank you. I’ve come a long way since the place I was in at that thread. Which I’m pleased about. MN support at the time was invaluable.

Shame the case hasn’t.

Im so sorry this has happened to you and that the police have so badly let you down.
Its disgraceful.
I recently had a not very nice experience with a man I was dating. He didnt rape me but I knew I was in a situation where if I didn't go along he might well have done.
It was easier and safer to let him do what he wanted to.
I felt bad and guilty about it for a while and strongly feel hes a danger to women.
Im glad I did what I did because if it had got violent the police would likely be useless.
Its disgusting how we are at the mercy of these violent and sick men and then the people who are supposed to protect us just compound the damage and violate us all over again with their ambivalance and incompetence.
And let these men off to do it again, I would doubt you are the first or only victim with that level of violence.
Im furious for you.
This shouldn't be happening and I hope you can get the support you need going forward.

I am so sorry that you’ve been let down so badly over this

I’m glad you have had some support, I just wish you had more. Sending hugs over the Ethernet to you.

I’ve written to my MP so let’s see what response I get.

I know this has become a bit trite, but, FWIW, I believe you.