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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A 12 year old's thoughts

24 replies

Enb76 · 22/09/2020 09:20

My daughter has just started secondary. She was asked to write about a famous woman from a specific country's history. At our house we have several books that might help 'Women in Science', 'Rejected Princesses' and 'Rebel Girls'. Rebel Girls is her least favourite and it came up in conversation that there is a transwoman included in Rebel Girls which I didn't know having not read the thing. My daughter questioned why a transgender boy would be included as it isn't something that a natal female can aspire to be and that actually, they should be in Rebel Boys.

This is something that I cannot get past in this argument - I literally have no understanding. Why is there such a push from some trans activists to get men who don't conform under the 'female' umbrella unless it's about dominating women rather than empowering themselves.. Surely it's far more subversive and brave to be a non-conforming male. It is male acceptance of their non-conforming gender identity and campaigning for safety within that sphere that should be the battle, not the battle to gain access to womens' spaces.

I know you know all this - I was just surprised that my 12 year old also expressed it when we hadn't really talked about it. Her school is fairly Stonewall under the banner of inclusivity and being nice.

OP posts:
vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 22/09/2020 09:24

I like your kid.

persistentwoman · 22/09/2020 09:26

The more you see OP, the more you realise that the erasure of girls and women is the end game for so many invested in this ideology. I have spent years fighting against seeing conspiracy theories all over the place but once you see things like this, it's hard not to see the big picture. And the losers are always girls and women.
Well done to your daughter for having critical thinking skills.

Annasgirl · 22/09/2020 09:27

Gosh, OP, I nearly bought Rebel girls for my DD but felt it was a bit young for her (she is 16). I never knew that it had a transgender girl in it - I thought it was an Irish book about women involved in the 1916 rising - am I wrong about that? If it is then how in God's name did they manage to shoehorn a trans person - unless they were misgendering PP????

EarthSight · 22/09/2020 09:31

I feel so sorry for your daughter. On top everything else teenagers are worried about, she has to start thinking about this as well. She clearly hasn't been brainwashed yet by the Tumblr parade.

TheShoesa · 22/09/2020 09:32

Your DD is right, Rebel Boys would be the perfect place for that individual.

It makes me think of Alex Drummond saying he is 'Expanding the bandwidth of what it is to be a woman' (seemingly by wearing make up and skirts, but keeping his beard). When really, he should be working on 'Expanding the bandwidth of what it is to be a man' and getting his fellow adult human males to be more accepting of those that don't conform.

Annasgirl · 22/09/2020 09:33

Oh and OP I agree 100% with your view.

Kit19 · 22/09/2020 09:36

The transgirl is Coy Mathis
www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/about-a-girl-coy-mathis-fight-to-change-gender-64264/

kind of speechless that a male child who with the aid of their parents fought to be allowed into female childrens spaces is hailed as a heroine for gils. Surely Coy hould be in a book about boys who rebelled?

no gaslighting here at all.....

OldCrony · 22/09/2020 09:39

... When really, he should be working on 'Expanding the bandwidth of what it is to be a man'..

I'd love a journo to put this to him to see what he comes up with.

OP's daughter has more integrity than that inadequate person.

nothereoften · 22/09/2020 09:44

What really offends me about including Coy is the fact that in a book of incredible women of all ages and races who overcame adversity to excel, is a 5 year old boy who just really liked pink. I could understand (but not personally agree with for reasons other pp have mentioned) including an adult transgender woman who'd done something impressive being in the book, but putting a little boy on par with all these female achievements was an insult to say the least.

TyroBurningDownTheCloset · 22/09/2020 09:44

I'm not surprised your daughter sees it this way despite not having talked about it - I came to the same conclusion myself as a child, without adult input.

The shouty TRAs want to dominate women, but the reasoning behind the inclusion of a transwoman in the book of females isn't done explicitly for their benefit. It's for the sake of kindness towards the dysphoric transsexuals who find it distressing to be listed amongst the men.

Unfortunately, this is one of those situations where kindness and indulgence of a person suffering a particular and very painful problem functions to lay the foundation for more people to develop that same problem.

The bit I never understood is, if someone's been horribly bullied and told they're not a real boy by dickheads who see them as inferior for a) failing at masculinity and b) embracing femininity - how the hell can it be right to say "Yes, the bullies are right, of course you're not a real boy; and if everyone would just accept that then you'll be fine."

It's no bloody wonder the dysphoria becomes intractable when it's being reinforced by kind people and dickheads alike.

Beamur · 22/09/2020 09:47

Your kid would get on with mine.

DisappearingGirl · 22/09/2020 09:49

I agree with all the above ... but just wanted to say I think Rebel Girls is fantastic in general! It's basically a compendium of brilliant women throughout history, with one page of text plus an arty picture devoted to each. There are two books (Rebel Girls 1 and 2). My girls (9 and 6) like it but I like it too as an adult, so I imagine I would have liked it at 16.

Yes, Rebel Girls 1 features one trans girl, but the other 100 or so are biological women. I had to do some quick thinking about it but we used it as a starting point for a short discussion. I figure they are going to come across the trans concept fairly soon anyway. I just stayed neutral about it and described it as a rare situation.

Good on your DD and her critical thinking though OP :)

Jeeeez · 22/09/2020 10:06

She'd get on well with my DD as well. Sadly, as she has very pro-trans friends and acquaintances she currently feels she has to police what she says, and I have to restrict my activism, as she's scared of being bullied at her new school 😥

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden · 22/09/2020 10:06

Your daughter is right, good on her for being so clear-sighted despite the obfuscation and gaslighting going on Star

DisappearingGirl · 22/09/2020 10:06

Also Rebel Girls 2 has JK Rowling in (prior to the current debate though)

StandUpStraight · 22/09/2020 10:09

Your 12 year old is a smart, independent thinker, OP. We have that book and have had the conversation about why a love of pink should make a boy a girl (my girls don’t like pink), and why that should give that boy the right to go into the girls’ toilets, and why achieving that would in turn be something to be proud of (and to celebrate with a pink sparkly cake, if I remember correctly). I was beyond mad when I first read that page but it actually was a good opportunity for a conversation. However, I missed the fundamental point that your 12 year old makes - that this is meant to be an aspirational book for girls, and girls cannot aspire to be trans girls!

Enb76 · 22/09/2020 10:12

I think Rebel Girls is fantastic in general!

I don't disagree though personally I prefer the art and content of Rejected Princesses. Rebel Girls is written a bit young even for the age my daughter was when received 4 copies of it for Christmas when it first came out.

OP posts:
teawamutu · 22/09/2020 10:26

Well done, OP. Sounds like you're doing an awesome job raising a future difficult woman Grin

ConcernedAboutWarrington · 22/09/2020 10:33

Time to have a chat with her about 'dominant narratives', editorial approach, and 'just because something is in a book doesn't make it a fact'.

I've already said to my DD (primary age) that I don't agree with the inclusion of a Trans girl. She's OK with that. We'll come back to it.

ThePictureInReno · 22/09/2020 10:49

I stuck those pages together when I noticed the story in the book as my daughters were too young for a conversation and I hated the message that one boy's wishes overrides girls' needs.

Enb76 · 22/09/2020 10:51

Sounds like you're doing an awesome job raising a future difficult woman

I do hope so - she learned early to sew pockets in her skirts.

OP posts:
DreadPirateLuna · 22/09/2020 12:01

Rejected Princesses includes a male -bodied "two spirit" person (Osh Tisch of the Crow Nation), but at least that person was actually a tribal leader and warrior.

Babdoc · 22/09/2020 12:06

Give your DD a hug from me, OP! You must be proud of her. She can obviously think for herself and make logical deductions, rather than blindly following others.

BitchPeas · 22/09/2020 12:21

I very neatly ripped that page out.

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