much more easily than I can brush off the 'I can't believe you're such a bigot'
Honestly, that word has become such a lazy, silly term that I hear it now and lose all interest. It's meaningless. Name calling became fashionable in the Blair years as a fast way to avoid having to actually engage the brain and defend an adult point of view.
In most cases from well meant people, it's lazy thinking without having properly engaged with or thought things through. They're just repeating what they've been told is the right thing to say, and they're often quite irritable and anxious about having to think about it any deeper because they know it's going to challenge their comfortable state of mind that they don't need to worry about it. I've got no patience with that. There's an adult social responsibility involved, and life is too short for people who cannot be buggered to think or to care about the interests of everyone, including the people they aren't personally interested in.
If they are actually clued up on what they're talking about, then unfortunately what they're really saying is that they can't believe anyone would care about the needs of female people. Which is when it's time to start unpicking with them, what do they actually mean by 'kind' and 'inclusive' and 'equality'?
Yes, it is not nice to find that people you care about hold either point of view, but it's steadily changing. I had an article sent today from a friend who is very peace, light, love and the age of Aquarius, who I'd never have thought would get involved, and it was a rant about normal perspectives and unquestioned sense and reality suddenly being controversial to say, and not caring about other people's interests. And I thought yup, I know exactly what issue you are skirting around but are so very fed up about. The ripples are spreading wider and wider, and people are realising.