Buzzfeed's 'advice' to a woman called Karen

[EarthSight]

Saw this today.

www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/woman-named-karen-wants-to-change-name-memes-advice

What a wanker. He actually called her a Karen for wanting to change her name. So basically he did what the woman was scared that people might do all the time - the fucker judged her for her because she's called Karen. Even some regular readers and fans were surprised and noticed he was harsher and less sympathetic.

Here's a paragraph that stuck out-

There's a degree of irony in your message, because a core tenet of Karen-ism is being so used to things happeningyourway, onyourterms, according toyourrules, that even the slightest challenge to your status quo is viewed as a personal attack. Whether it's abarbecue happening in a public parkor alittle girl selling water on the sidewalk, Karens tend to really lose their minds when confronted with things even slightly beyond their control. And here you are now, so rattled by some internet memes that you're consideringlegally changing your name for eternity. I'm not saying you're being a Karen, Karen, but if the nametag fits......

What I got from his 'advice' is that because other people in the world are racist, she should feel personally responsible for that and suck it up, even though it's nothing to do with her. There are other comments that agree as well. Because some people are black and they get abuse, and they can't change that, this means that an innocent person should suffer? For what? Because it makes them feel better thinking that other people are enacting an indiscriminate vengeance on their behalf over the internet?

The problem with the 'Karen' is that it's a bit like horoscopes. People find a way to make them fit, so it's no use telling women to ignore the haters because those haters might be in the workplace. They might be a sniggering colleague, a dismissive, sexist manager.

I'm enjoying reading people challenging him. Many good responses, this being one -

princessk
This advice was kind of insensitive though... she wrote to you saying she's insecure about these stereotypes and then you basically say she DOES fit the stereotype - not for being racist or ignorant even but just for wanting to change her name?? I normally love your advice but this just seemed rude and mean-spirited... like you weren't really trying to help :/ I say she should change it if it makes her more comfortable/happy

frontrow333
This is the first time I've been disappointed with the advice given. You gave a throwaway "sure, if you want to change it, whatever" so as to attempt to not sound insensitive, and then went on an absolute tirade about how privileged she is. You completely ignored the fact that people named Karen are being incessantly bullied right now (something I would assume you're against), and you made a tremendous assumption that she's doing nothing to acknowledge and change other issues in the world. All you said - in an awful lot of words - was "other people have it worse, so it's not a real problem". Really let down by the response here.

suen413
Your argument is not logical, in my opinion. Because a person's name is Karen, it is incumbent upon them to change the world? Personally, I think that we all have that responsibility, but there is absolutely no reason that the Karens have to be told to lead the fight. Doesn't make sense. Also, find it in your heart to have a little empathy for people. I am very heavily aligned with BLM, but that doesn't mean I can't have empathy for those with smaller problems. Why don't we direct our anger at the problem rather than at people who really don't deserve your criticism?

shannonp4f9a554d6
That was terrible advise. He basically just told her she’s racist for no apparent reason and that she needs to go on a one woman crusade to end racism everywhere. How about instead calling out how horrifically misogynist the Karen meme is to begin with. If someone’s parents named them Hitler they would be in their right mind to change their name, you wouldn’t say “lean into it” or tell them to go on a crusade to end anti-semitism.

jcovcova
This Stephen goon REALLY needs his own name to become an offensive term, possibly to mean "asinine white man" At no point did this Karen woman say that race relations aren't an issue, she just wants not have people make an uneducated assumption based on preconceived notions Ironically enough, you did exactly that, and proved exactly why her changing her name might be a good idea How did this clown get an advice section? I'm aware buzzfeed makes fox "news" credible, but this is pushing it

MyFrogWins
How disgusting is this "advice"? This lady asks for advice about her situation, and not only do you discount her situation by comparing it to others, you throw it back in her face by calling it "a degree of irony"? "Hey, I know you're upset about being mocked for your name right now - but America is racist and you're acting like a total Karen by having your own problems you want help with"? I can't imagine any other advice article doing this... Not just disregarding her concerns, but actively using them against her? Disgusting.

Genuine question. Misogyny and ageism aside, is there any legal case for racism? The Karen people are a (sometimes oppressed) ethnic group. Using their ethnic group name as an insult doesn't sit right with me.

@DriveInSaturday

There are a couple of things that get me about 'Karen'.

When I first came across it, 'Karen' was a middle-aged woman who demanded to see the manager. I hate the misogyny and ageism of demonising an older woman for having the temerity to stand up for herself.

Also, the name doesn't work in England - we have just copied the Americanism. Here, in my experience, Karen is a working-class name, not the name of someone who thinks everyone should defer to her.

And now the meme has evolved to make 'Karen' a racist, after the video of a woman threatening to call the police on a man for the crime of being black in a public place. In America again, but there you go. This woman's actual name is Amy. So (not that I am advocating this) why didn't 'Amy' become the name for a racist white woman, leaving 'Karen' free to continue asking for the manager? My theory is ageism again. Amy is a younger name than Karen, so the idea that your lovely BLM-supporting friend Amy might share a name with a nasty racist is unpalatable.

US here

All of the 'white' Karens I have known (and know) are working class - from blue collar families or rural farms. Quick examples: my aunt (most wonderful human to walk the earth - I wrote about her on another thread), DH's aunt (another great woman, has worked in a clothing manufacturer warehouse as admin for 40yrs), and Karen that works at the Walgreens down the street (it is her 2nd job) she is in her early 70s and is working one full-time and one part-time job to pay off medical debt and funeral expenses for her husband. Point is they actually are not women to make a big fuss about nothing - these are women that would only complain when 100% warranted and are more likely to let whatever it is go (more important stuff to worry about). These women have always been hard workers and are from lower income families - they are all over 60yrs old.

I know four other Karens - three black and all under the age of 40yrs old. One works at my bank branch (lower end of middle income), my friend Karen that I went to college with (high earner - badass entrepreneur), and Karen my brother's girlfriend (high end of middle income, HCP - goes by middle name as first name is an almost musical Ugandan name that most people CBA to ask how to pronounce; she's in a weird spot with the swirling xenophobia and now the Karen thing). My brother's ex whose name is slightly different to Karen but similar enough for idiots to confuse it and accuse her of the same (she's from Bangladesh and in her early 30s). People (white people mostly IIRC) assume and accuse them of being white hiding behind 'black or brown women's faces'.

All of this leads me to believe that there was one asshole Karen and/or an asshole younger person that had the manager called on them by this Karen (warranted or not) and suddenly (because internet) 'all Karens are entitled hysterical bitches'. The addition of the racist tag is something to behold, I expect it came from the privileged performative bubbles. People are idiots.

He sounds like a smug, self serving, pretentious little prick. But it's Buzzfeed so I'm not at all surprised. They want clicks. Nothing else matters in the slightest. Clicks=money. No further thought is required of them.