Just been called a TERF for the first time - do I get a badge or something?

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

I feel I’ve earned my feminist stripes today! I posted a comment along the lines of “trans women are males who say they are/wish to be/adopt the gender stereotypes of females”. Not use what is wrong with this, it’s surely the dictionary definition of trans.

Oh my goodness, the abuse. Both in public reply, and private. One threat of rape, which was slightly upsetting, hence posting at 4am when I have to be up for work in two hours.

But actually what has got me is the fact the not a single person has stood up for me. I feel very alone in my opinions. I’m a bit older than prime Generation Woke, and I have friends of many ages. Surely someone out there could agree with me.

But yes, do I get my “I got called a TERF today” badge? Bit like when you get a stick at the dentist for being brave.

Until last Tuesday, including in LGBT sensitivity training I had 2 years ago, the definition we were given for trans woman was in fact “a person who is biologically male but identifies as a woman”. So basically your definition, given “identifies as” is another way to say “says they are”

I'm so sorry. It's hard, but I promise it gets easier.
And no support doesn't mean nobody agrees with you. Many are scared. Many have never thought about it. But you possibly planted a seed and maybe next time or after you get a pm. Or a friend will bring it up. You never know what you start, so just keep talking.

And please accept this Magdalen-badge for your courage.

Well done OP.

Was this on twitter?

Well done and I hope this doesn't have any negative professional consequences for you.

I would report the rape threat to the social media platform you're on. It will do nothing, but I think it's worth flagging.

I'm actually of the opinion that any woman who receives a rape threat online should now take it to their local police. They too won't do anything but a rape threat should be reported (imagine it was posted through your letterbox) and certain police forces are so very hot on hate speech that I think they need to know that if they're protecting trans people from being insulted, then there are a LOT more women having worse than an insult. Let them be clogged up with the verbal attacks women get online. However, I'm not suggesting you do, it's just how I think about it.

I would stand up for you if I’d seen your post. The response you received sounds very upsetting and I think anotherhuman is right - report the rape threat to the police - that is not ok.

I'm really sorry to hear about the threat, OP. Presuming it wasn't someone you know? Or credible? If it was, are you thinking about reporting?

As for her feet, I don't know about badges, but you are now eligible for the $ from the Christian far right and a free lesbian wife, I believe.*

*get in line, though.

'her feet '? I swear my autocorrect gets weirder by the day. That should read 'terfery'

when i first started posting i got one or two likes and a couple of dms.
now i get twenty-five or so.
a change-is-coming.

well done- as i was advised - play to the crowd, lots of people are listening. lots of people are in workplaces/family situs where they are being silenced.
your thoughts will make a difference.

@Helmetbymidnight

when i first started posting i got one or two likes and a couple of dms. now i get twenty-five or so. a change-is-coming.

well done- as i was advised - play to the crowd, lots of people are listening. lots of people are in workplaces/family situs where they are being silenced.
your thoughts will make a difference.

Hi Helmetby - that’s great - could I ask what have been your most effective posts/shares? I’m not making much headway atm.

so this is what someone more experienced told me to do: keep it on friends only for now- you don't want the violent nutters getting involved - mix it up with the other stuff you care about, so its only 1/5, 1/6 of timeline - dont start posts until you feel confident you can support the content etc
. i post janice turner, or helen joyce or jkrowling or anything that is clear/accessible (and not behind a timewall!). sarah fields speech is magnificent. womens sports is a big thing for me, so any news on that.

recently a very good clever(!) friend (not on sm) who i last discussed this with about three years and was so disappointed and decided never to mention it again, told me she has completely changed her mind, shes seen the implications of the ideology on women, shes seen the fury- and shes had a complete turn around. it IS happening.

we are putting across a complex nuanced defensive message in a time/form when people prefer feel good slogans- its going to take time.

(i do see big similarities in the brexit/remain debate- remainers failed to get their points across and now rights are being rolled back- we cant lose this one for lack of trying)

Thank you H that is enormously helpful. I’ll get cracking :-)

Congratulations OP. It was a bold statement but well done for standing up for what you think.

I got told I had cis fragility yesterday. From my partner

@SapphosRock

Congratulations OP. It was a bold statement but well done for standing up for what you think.

I got told I had cis fragility yesterday. From my partner

I feel bad for your situation Sapphos after your recent discussions on here it must be tough - hopefully you can both keep talking and come through it stronger.

Thank you gardenbird48

And keep talking OP.

Well done

If it was on Twitter, your prize will be getting added to TERFBlocker which means you can't read the most bigoted and misogynistic posts any more

It means you're getting noticed. I've been added to TERF-blocker, & - as the PP noted - it can be a bit of a sanity saver.

from me

(And yes, all rape threats should be reported to the police )

Good for you OP, it's scary to do and the backlash can be surprising from people you thought were intelligent. Remember, as is often said here, how encouraging that was for the FB "lurkers" so to speak.

And reframe TERF to
Tired of
Explaining
Reality to
Fuckwits (I've pinched this from another poster)

@Helmetbymidnight So encouraging to hear about your friend. I lurch backwards and forwards between despair and hopefulness.

I

Ooh, so have I for the first time! A 'fucking TERF' no less. Can I share your badge OP?!

I wish I could say that it's water off a duck's back but even the mild attacks I'm getting are occupying my mind. God only knows what people like you, and like JKR, must feel.

Solidarity, Sister!

I had my first one on Twitter recently too...it was an odd sensation, I'll be honest.
But I thought 'fuck it. Look at the company i'm in, god damn it! 😉

He also said i 'lacked self awareness' and i said 'ouch 🙄.'

How do you find out if you’ve been added to a TERF blocker? (Don’t even know if I’m using the right terminology!).