Gender Revele

[BrandineDelRoy]

Or sex revelation? I'm not a fan of nouns becoming verbs. But this is beyond words stupid.

My newly pregnant friend was feeling a little bit down with it all, watching you tube videos of these parties, and taking the piss, cheered her up greatly.

Finding out the gender just gives a little insight into the type of personality the person may be

And there lies the problem with gender reveal parties for me. Expectations based on regressive stereotypes aren't just a bit of harmless fun

Finding out the gender just gives a little insight into the type of personality the person may be

And there lies the problem with gender reveal parties for me. Expectations based on regressive stereotypes aren't just a bit of harmless fun

You beat me to it.
As a feminist (drumroll) I hate the colour coding of babies (and heavily gendered children toys and clothes)

You can celebrate the arrival of a new person into this world without pigeonholing them into pink or blue boxes.
It's regressive bullshit, and promoted by obvious commercial interests (if all your baby stuff is colour coded, odds are you will need to buy new, different coloured stuff when you get a second... Same with gendered toys)

A baby in the womb is not going to care if it has a pink or blue cake, and I don’t think it reflects at all how a parent is going to raise that child. Most children become vocal on their likes, dislikes, how they want to dress and what interests them. But is a scientific fact every baby is born a boy or a girl. Maybe if we all were taught about self acceptance and self love a bit more there would be fewer trans in the world. Changing your sex has almost been normalised when it is life changing.

The rise in these events after their inception presumably correlates with the availability of commercial 'gender scans' . While for some it will just be an excuse for an extra set of presents party , I'd guess that families attracted to this idea will be more likely to then colour code the nursery and clothing etc along gendered lines.

I find the “no one cares but you” thing bizarre. I care about lots of my family and friends. I care about their children, including smaller and larger details about their lives

I care too. But back in the day new parents would simply announce "It's a girl/boy!" after the birth and you'd know the sex, and that was it. I don't see why "caring" should involve a party, coloured baloons/lights/explosions.
Does it make me love that child more? No, not at all. It's just hype, and I don't care.
I know that it's not cool to say "back in the day" but really, the essentials don't change at all. It's just the deliberate whipping up of faux excitement.

Thing is they're meaningless, they're not a celebration of the child you're going to have, they're a celebration of gender stereotypes. It's a girl, she can wear cute clothes and you can do her hair and one day you'll go shopping for a wedding dress! It's a boy, he'll love football and it'll all be rough and tumble and one day he'll make you proud!

I have this suspicion that parents who have gender reveals are the ones who will be found 4 years later shaming their child for liking a toy or item of clothing that is 'for' the opposite gender.

I didn't find out until she was born. It's all money making American imported bollocks.

That Twitter thread is nuts. Surely that’s a parody account?

I find the “no one cares but you” thing bizarre. I care about lots of my family and friends. I care about their children, including smaller and larger details about their lives

Me too, but a gender reveal party tells you nothing about the baby or the person it will become. It just tells you about the parents and the stereotypes they will inflict on their children.

The rise in these events after their inception presumably correlates with the availability of commercial 'gender scans' .

It also correlates with the rise of performative social media.

Finding out the gender just gives a little insight into the type of personality the person may be

What a ridiculous comment. Finding out the sex of a baby tells you nothing about the baby other than what sex it is.

The whole concept is bizarre. My son was born in 1990. Almost nobody knew then what sex their baby was until he or she was born. Scans just told you there was something inside you with a heartbeat. I had an amniocentesis test and was asked if I wanted to know the sex. I didn’t. I didn’t know he was a boy until the surgeon announced " it's a boy! "

Well we have come a very long way since 1990!
I honestly cannot understand why it bothers people so much. Live and let live. If others want a gender party let them. If you don’t, don’t. (Those who do have one , don’t judge you for not having one!) What a bitchy thing to say me and my friend were laughing at people who have one. Not great role models for children. What matters is these children are going to be loved and think of how many children in this world are not loved and live in poverty and don’t own 1 toy. They would sure appreciate a barbie or toy car regardless what sex they were. There are definitely bigger issues in this world

BEESY90, the comment Finding out the gender just gives a little insight into the type of personality the person may be is utterly ridiculous.

It gives no insight to the "type of personality the person may be". It tells you nothing other than the sex of the baby.

If your reference to "a bitchy comment" is to me because I made that comment I find it very interesting that you use such a derogatory term used exclusively against women. You could have said "rude" "arrogant " yet you pick a term never used for men.

That in itself is part of what is wrong with "gender reveal" - the reinforcement of gender stereotypes being confused as being innate personality.

I didn't want to know the sex of my baby before birth. I just wanted the baby to be well and healthy and be deal with that first. Sex was immaterial to me as I was hardly going to say 'Oh God, not a boy/girl!'

It's not a bit of fun if it's harming someone in the process. It's like banter. It's not harmless at all.
It is harming people as it reenforces the idea of girls and boys are fundamentally different and girls will like pink and boys will like blue. Subliminal programming ?

Why is it so important to people to know the sex of their baby? When people are disappointed in the sex , it's always predicated on assumptions like " I'll never get to do their hair " , never " I'll never get to discuss the difficulties of coping with heavy periods"

It is harming people as it reenforces the idea of girls and boys are fundamentally different

Well they are. I am obviously all for equal opportunities, against colours, jobs, toys, haircuts etc for boys/girls- but I don't see why it can't also be acknowledged that they are different.

It's a sex reveal party.

Bring back the word sex!

@Tanders

It is harming people as it reenforces the idea of girls and boys are fundamentally different

Well they are. I am obviously all for equal opportunities, against colours, jobs, toys, haircuts etc for boys/girls- but I don't see why it can't also be acknowledged that they are different.

You missed out the important part in your quote. The full comment was

as it reenforces the idea of girls and boys are fundamentally different and girls will like pink and boys will like blue. Subliminal programming ?

Well yes, I purposefully did. I don't see how a blue cake or a pink cake will mean that the baby is subject to that.

@Tanders

Well yes, I purposefully did. I don't see how a blue cake or a pink cake will mean that the baby is subject to that.

Really? You don't see how picking a blue cake for a boy or a pink cake for a girl is reinforcing stereotypes?

Bloomin' eck. I'm not a feminist, far less a radical one and even I can see that.

The very fact that you think a pink cake is a good idea shows your bias . If the bias was not there , would you always choose pink for a girl? Course not.

Really? You don't see how picking a blue cake for a boy or a pink cake for a girl is reinforcing stereotypes

Nope. I find how the child is treated once they are born has far more of an effect on them than a cake when they are in utero and have no idea what's going on. You could assume that those who have a party are more likely to buy into stereotypes and inflict them on their child, but the actual reveal itself has zero effect.

@merrymouse

I find the “no one cares but you” thing bizarre. I care about lots of my family and friends. I care about their children, including smaller and larger details about their lives

Me too, but a gender reveal party tells you nothing about the baby or the person it will become. It just tells you about the parents and the stereotypes they will inflict on their children.

I was just commenting on the “no one cares” thing. I was not stating any views about gender reveal parties. Personally my objection is to the gender stereotyping on display (though I am less fussed about the use of pink and blue In theory, though this does feed into later problems associated with coding activities/toys). If they were merely a celebration of a notable piece of news during someone’s pregnancy, then I would still think it over the top and unnecessary, but I would also think that it is completely fine to want to have one.

The very fact that you think a pink cake is a good idea shows your bias . If the bias was not there , would you always choose pink for a girl? Course not.

Would I use pink to indicate girl? Yeah maybe. Would I dress a girl head to toe in pink and veer away from blue etc? Nope. Is me used pink in a cake then harmful to that child?