Durham University freshers ‘aimed to have sex with poorest student’

[Imnobody4]

Durham University freshers ‘aimed to have sex with poorest student’

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/472ac18c-f202-11ea-9de6-a6e4d4016fb7?shareToken=75e3fdd47770542f7e7aa8e5c6579efb

When is something going to be done about this rising tide of misogyny among young men.(rhetorical question)

Appalling, hope Durham investigate properly and throw them out but not confident they will

@AlsoNotAGirl

Appalling, hope Durham investigate properly and throw them out but not confident they will

Never going to happen, sadly.

Another rhetorical question, why are we as a society so poor at raising boys, so that they turn out like this? How have their dads and mums been bringing them up for them to think this is OK?

Durham was relocated to Wokington Towers, Wokingham earlier this year so they are probably too busy to investigate.

@MrsApplepants

Another rhetorical question, why are we as a society so poor at raising boys, so that they turn out like this? How have their dads and mums been bringing them up for them to think this is OK?

And why did politicians think that allowing internet giants to dump an open sewer through the middle of society wouldn't have consequences.

@MrsApplepants

Another rhetorical question, why are we as a society so poor at raising boys, so that they turn out like this? How have their dads and mums been bringing them up for them to think this is OK?

I think the problem is that you can do everything right, raise perfectly nice boys until the age of 12 or so, but if they then spend the next six years watching internet pornography in which women are brutalised, beaten and objectified, it's almost impossible for them to avoid being influenced by that. It's six years or so of behavioural conditioning - see a woman treated as an object, ejaculate. See a woman being choked, ejaculate. See a woman being slapped and spat on, ejaculate. Repeat, repeat, repeat during the some of the most important psychologically formative years of their lives.

Ffs I hope they do investigate, that's disgusting.

There’s a massive class element compounding the wider societal misogyny.

These aren’t men brought up to be nice boys. They are men brought up to believe they are an elite who are more valuable than the rest of society and can treat other people as disposable.

@Stripesgalore

There’s a massive class element compounding the wider societal misogyny.

These aren’t men brought up to be nice boys. They are men brought up to believe they are an elite who are more valuable than the rest of society and can treat other people as disposable.

I would love to know where the students in that whatsapp group went to school

I went to Durham and this doesn't surprise me in the slightest. There was a similar game when I was there for sports socs to compete to pull the "ugliest girl" you could find on a night out. Totally messed me up, I still have trouble not believing that anyone who is interested in me based on looks isn't doing it to score imaginary points.

Sadly I don't think this sort of thing is new- they're just discussing it online now. When I was at University (before internet was widely available) I knew a group of male students (mainly wealthy and privately educated) who had 'pull a pig' competitions etc . I had the misfortune of bumping in to one of them several years after graduation and he was bragging to his friends that he had persuaded a woman on the tube (who from his description clearly had mental health problems and/or addiction issues) to big him a blow job for £5 by implying that he really liked her and would sort out her financial problems. He and his horrible mates seemed to think this was very clever and funny (the conversation was along the lines of him not really being dishonest as she did end up £5 better off, he just hadn't quantified what financial help he was offering). These are well educated men in professional jobs who are no doubt now in powerful positions.

I think the problem is that you can do everything right, raise perfectly nice boys until the age of 12 or so, but if they then spend the next six years watching internet pornography in which women are brutalised, beaten and objectified, it's almost impossible for them to avoid being influenced by that. It's six years or so of behavioural conditioning - see a woman treated as an object, ejaculate. See a woman being choked, ejaculate. See a woman being slapped and spat on, ejaculate. Repeat, repeat, repeat during the some of the most important psychologically formative years of their lives.

This is what absolutely terrifies me as the mother of a boy just going into his teens. How do I compete against the ubiquitous woman-hating culture around us?

Diana, the kind of behaviour talked about on this thread is common, but it’s not normal.

Your son probably isn’t going to behave like this. It is not acceptable behaviour in every male friendship group.

I think the problem is that you can do everything right, raise perfectly nice boys until the age of 12 or so, but if they then spend the next six years watching internet pornography in which women are brutalised, beaten and objectified, it's almost impossible for them to avoid being influenced by that. It's six years or so of behavioural conditioning - see a woman treated as an object, ejaculate. See a woman being choked, ejaculate. See a woman being slapped and spat on, ejaculate. Repeat, repeat, repeat during the some of the most important psychologically formative years of their lives

This is totally depressing to read and broadly correct - the effect of pornography and misogyny is huge in our sons' teenaged yeara. It's our job to fight against it and equip them to fight it too. It's not easy, but I am determined, as is my DH.

I feel so sad for my boy who is so sweet and sensitive and so beautifully naïve that it's almost painful. I feel sad for my girl that she will encounter misogynistic pigs, as every woman since the dawn of time has. But I do feel hopeful that I can teach them and guide them with everything I've got, and give them best possible chance in this fucked up planet.

As a state school kid I had an interview there in 1988.
The first (and almost only) question I was asked was: 'do you row?'
I replied I did not and the pompous git asked: 'whyever not?'
I said it wasn't on offer at my School (which he would have known)
He pulled a face and said: 'I wonder if you think you will fit in here?'

Seems like the Durham University attitude is alive and well :(

Misogyny, compounded by elitism.
Who on earth thinks it funny to use another human being's orifices for £5? (or £5K come to that) - Vile.

Our sons don’t even have to be steeped in porn - there’s just a narrative circulated online that ‘men are being blamed for everything and can do no right’ and the resultant resentment is dangerous and unhealthy. It’s pervasive on so many sites and very hard to counter. It’s a constant battle to keep my DS engaged and challenged by Feminist ideas and theories especially as any feminism he’s encountering amongst his peers is of the TWAW variety and steeped in identity politics that he doesn’t hold any truck with. And then there’s the sex worker positivity to add another layer of complexity. It’s confusing out there. But I guess there have always been misogynistic entitled men out there behaving like this. I’m sure these types are just as tokenistic and dismissive of the ‘working class’ ‘lads’ they encounter (especially patronising to the ones that sell them their drugs) It’s a case of constantly pulling up our sons on every comment and having challenging conversations. It’s very hard though. I’m so glad I’m not a teenage girl or boy now.

My guess is that most of those men will not be having sex with anyone

Very well-put Allourboys.

I think one thing I also try to remind myself is that during my teenage years and twenties, I had all kinds of ideas that I have long since abandoned and am now quite ashamed of. I think the principles were there - equality, justice, fairness, kindness, and I was generally a good person, but some of the ideas I had about things were half-baked and naive (being very kind to myself). Actually I see the same in my DH. He's a lovely person but he's only now in his mid-30s and a father beginning to truly grasp some of the concepts of feminism and equality (as am I).

I will try to raise my boy with the right principles and let him sift through the dogmas, mantras and stances, as his father and I have done.

That said I would never, ever have done anything close to what those Durham scumbags have done.

Remember Warwick University last year?

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/anger-at-rape-joke-students-return-to-warwick-university-c3qgxvhbw

Durham again. They seem to have a deep seated problem. Perhaps over compensating for not being Oxbridge?

@Abhannmor

Durham again. They seem to have a deep seated problem. Perhaps over compensating for not being Oxbridge?

Yes, I expect this has something to do with it. Privileged, wealthy private schoolboys with a chip on their shoulders about failing to get to Oxbridge. Probably believing that they were unfairly passed over for a place to benefit a student with a lower contextual offer.

Am I right in thinking they are due to start their first year? So not yet registered students? That might make it easier for Durham to act with a bit of backbone.

Durham have said they will lose their places if they can prove who it was, but that is very difficult to prove.

Ugh

'That's what she said' by Alison Phipps is a feminist study into lad culture at university
Very interesting

What I don't understand especially with sexual assault or rape is why the thing seems to be to tell the uni and they deal with it etc. They may call police.

If a crime is committed why are the students not going to the police?