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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Gender politics of eating a roast chicken!!

136 replies

ColdOopNorth · 10/09/2020 08:32

Apologies in advance if this is the wrong place to ask and it seems rather trivial but.... I come from a traditional Northern family and I am in my 50's. I have always , from early childhood, believed that it is 'normal' when carving a roast bird to give the men the legs and the women get the breast! This was 'the rule' growing up, my husband took this as normal too and I never ever questioned why until my non-British friends came for lunch and thought it was the most weird, bizarre thing ever and are still talking about it weeks after. Is this a thing for anyone else and any idea why? I suspect it is to do with men being allowed to pick up the leg and gnaw on it whilst us 'ladies' are far too refined - just goes to show how deeply ingrained some of these stereotypes are eh

OP posts:
FippertyGibbett · 10/09/2020 13:10

I’m Northern and I’ve never heard of that.

lotsolove · 10/09/2020 13:15

I think growing up your mum preferred the breast and your dad preferred the leg. You've probably just noticed this and assumed it was some sort of tradition. Growing up we just ate what we preferred.

ChesterDrawsDoesntExist · 10/09/2020 13:17

I this weird attitude goes for other stuff too.

I like a nice sirloin steak. DH has started to like it too (he was brought up eating steak cooked in the oven 😱) and didn't realise that when properly cooked in a frying pan/skillet with butter and garlic that it's actually amazing.
The kids (8, 10 and 13) absolutely love a sirloin as well.

The local butcher and assistant (older, as I believe it's more often a generational thing) were horrified when I ordered 5 sirloins for DH, I and the kids.

Butcher: "Oh no, you'll need sausages for the kids"

::assistants agrees and goes to grab sausages::

Me: "No thanks, definitely steaks please."

Butcher:"How about a bit of mince instead? They'll eat that fried up and a bit of gravy!"

Assistant: "Yeah you don't need steaks. Kids should have a nice burger or something!"

Reader, I got my damn steaks and we all enjoyed the hell out of them! DS 8 probably ate more than the rest of us as he's meat mad.

I know a few folk of that same era who have a similar belief. Sausages for the man and just egg for the wife and kids. Or Steak for the man and a bit of mince for the rest. There was no need, plenty of budget for all but it was a given that it's how it should be at dinner. Very strange. It was mainly MIL's DM and MIL's friends who were/are like that. (Scottish village if it makes any difference)
But not back home for us in Northern England as far as my mum says. Penis portions were a thing but not usually different foods for the man.

homemadecommunistrussia · 10/09/2020 13:27

I have always done this and not really questioned it.
No skin off my nose, as chicken is horrible.

Fifthtimelucky · 10/09/2020 13:31

When I was a child (1960s) roast chicken was a Sunday staple. My parents had a thigh each, the two older children had a drumstick each, the two younger ones had a wing each, and we all shared the breast (more for the younger two because the wings weren't very meaty).

If I cook one, everyone (4 of us) gets a thigh or drumstick and we share the breast.

I've never before heard of anyone giving men the leg and women the breast. Extraordinary to do that with turkey when there's always plenty of leg to go round. At Christmas I carve the leg and everyone has a bit of both (unless they only want one type of meat).

sqirrelfriends · 10/09/2020 13:37

@ChesterDrawsDoesntExist ugh, I hate that attitude, it stinks of inequality. "Why should the wife and kids have the nice food too, they don't deserve it."

Unfortunately I still see a version of this in a lot of households, kids have tea at 5 which is something quick out the oven and the parents eat a proper dinner later. I admit we do this on occasion with DS when we want to eat later but I love family dinner times and would much rather we all eat the same thing.

DidoLamenting · 10/09/2020 13:38

@HasaDigaEebowai

It certainly isn't a British thing. Its a you thing.
Yup. Never heard of this.
CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/09/2020 13:42

And what about those of us who have?

We don't dismiss your opinion, aren't so belligerently certain that because we have experienced thing that EVRYONE MUST HAVE!

It is a British thing, for some. Many people have heard of it, have done it, some have re-thought it as they grew older.

Or are we all conniving behind your backs to make up a lie exclude you, make you feel like the odd one out? Pshaw!

ChesterDrawsDoesntExist · 10/09/2020 13:43

[quote sqirrelfriends]@ChesterDrawsDoesntExist ugh, I hate that attitude, it stinks of inequality. "Why should the wife and kids have the nice food too, they don't deserve it."

Unfortunately I still see a version of this in a lot of households, kids have tea at 5 which is something quick out the oven and the parents eat a proper dinner later. I admit we do this on occasion with DS when we want to eat later but I love family dinner times and would much rather we all eat the same thing. [/quote]

It's very rare that I ever do that (unless treating the kids to a lazy nuggets meal because they don't want what we're having). We usually all eat the same thing at the same time or husband gets his warmed up if he gets home later.

I recently visited my sister and her kids got a frozen pizza for dinner and were very upset later watching DSis, BIL, our DM and I all tucking into a delicious Chinese takeaway. My kids would have been really insulted to be left out of the big feast dinner.

Justlovedogs · 10/09/2020 13:44

Late 40's and from down South ({grin}). This was the norm in our family. Men didn't necessarily get the whole leg, but would get leg meat (esp from a turkey) and ladies got breast.

lazylinguist · 10/09/2020 13:50

I've heard of this (on MN, I think) but have never witnessed it and find it bizarre. In our house (and my parents' and in-laws' houses) you ask for what you want or serve yourself from the serving plate. Dh and dd prefer legs, ds and I prefer breast.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/09/2020 13:51

Why thank you for that snappy judgement on me and my family!

Should we wear a badge?

katy1213 · 10/09/2020 14:07

This was the norm in our family, but chicken was more of a treat then. The chicken oysters were traditionally a delicacy for ladies, but that's very old-fashioned.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/09/2020 14:09

The chicken oysters were traditionally a delicacy for ladies, but that's very old-fashioned. I accidentally showed DH where they are... perks for the chef, he cooks most Sunday lunches, I do puddings Sad

JillGoodacre · 10/09/2020 15:26

I am NE England and it was definitely a 'thing' where I'm from

midgebabe · 10/09/2020 15:30

Your age, your culture, yes it was a thing which I successfully challenged in my teens

Not sure if it just wasn't ladylike to knaw the leg? Or to have robust taste buds?

Cattiwampus · 10/09/2020 16:12

*And what about those of us who have?

We don't dismiss your opinion, aren't so belligerently certain that because we have experienced thing that EVRYONE MUST HAVE*

We’re just really old and confused, CuriousaboutSamphire And obviously not members of that group that insists if they believe it to be so, then it is so.
Like toddlers and Bishop Berkeley.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/09/2020 16:16

Like toddlers and Bishop Berkeley.

Old enough to know that reference Grin

AryaStarkWolf · 10/09/2020 16:29

@midgebabe

Your age, your culture, yes it was a thing which I successfully challenged in my teens

Not sure if it just wasn't ladylike to knaw the leg? Or to have robust taste buds?

a bit like women drinking pints or from a bottle (beer) isn't "lady like" I once knew a guy who said he would refuse to buy a woman a pint if he was getting a round in. I just can't deal with people like that, I can't understand how they don't realise how utterly offensive it is to think you can tell a person what glass they're allowed drink from based on their genitals or maybe they just don't care, they just think they're the superior species and we women should do as we're told, that's probably more like it
midgebabe · 10/09/2020 16:45

Well to be fair , I have learnt that the occasional half is better than matching men pint for pint...me being a little smaller!

AryaStarkWolf · 10/09/2020 16:48

@midgebabe

Well to be fair , I have learnt that the occasional half is better than matching men pint for pint...me being a little smaller!
I never said anything about matching anyone though
midgebabe · 10/09/2020 17:01

That may be where we are different
I needed to thoroughly test every assumption about girls

Namechangetoavoidmra · 10/09/2020 17:08

This was also how it was when I grew up in the 80s. It was most obvious when we had visitors. Male guests always went first. Even Male guest children went ahead of adult women guests once they hit their teens. It’s sexist bollocks

lazylinguist · 10/09/2020 17:13

Male guests always went first. Even Male guest children went ahead of adult women guests once they hit their teens.

Wow- if anything I've seen more 'ladies first' in that kind of situation (or just guests first and no order according to sex of guests or hosts).

lazylinguist · 10/09/2020 17:16

I once knew a guy who said he would refuse to buy a woman a pint if he was getting a round in.

What a twat! I'm nearly 50 and always drank pints, but I'm pretty sure my DM and DGM didn't because it wasn't ladylike. My DF wouldn't have batted an eyelid, but my DGF might have.

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