“You can’t say “he” or “she” anymore, you have to say “the”.

[Mycatismadeofstringcheese]

Just had a chat with my 13 year old niece. Apparently when she goes back to school in September they have been told that they can’t say “he” or “she” any more, they have to say “the” and gave the example, “The hit me”.

My niece couldn’t explain why, just that they have to do it.

Apparently my brother and SIL think it is ridiculous but don’t want to complain or cause trouble.

This is in Suffolk. Is anyone else aware of anything like this? For a second I thought she was joking until I realised she was absolutely serious.

I’m so upset and frustrated by this.

I thought the gender neutral pronoun was spelt "ze" However this could not be confused with they as surely it would be pronounced as if it were "dz". Personally I prefer "co" but not sure how it is pronounced. If it is an open "o" sound might be confusing way up north where " caw" has a totally different meaning.
Must be worrying for your niece though.

compelled speech

This all sounds very nebulous, OP.

I’d wait til you know something more concrete and I’d stop trying to second guess what other changes may have been made eg you've now guessed they have mixed sex toilets.

Transgender people might have their own preferred pronouns, but I’ve yet to see a whole school make a unilateral decision to mis-sex or mis-gender all pupils, trans or otherwise.

If ‘the’ is the pronoun being foist on everyone, trans pupils will be just as unhappy as your DN.

Also, it would be headlines news and big fails at exam time.

Could it be friends winding each other up. They know what's going on and lots of them think it's stupid.

@ItsLateHumpty

This all sounds very nebulous, OP.

I’d wait til you know something more concrete and I’d stop trying to second guess what other changes may have been made eg you've now guessed they have mixed sex toilets.

Transgender people might have their own preferred pronouns, but I’ve yet to see a whole school make a unilateral decision to mis-sex or mis-gender all pupils, trans or otherwise.

If ‘the’ is the pronoun being foist on everyone, trans pupils will be just as unhappy as your DN.

Well said ITslate

Tbh, it wouldn’t surprise me.
People are scoffing, but many things were scoffed at as ‘never happening’.... until they did.

Who would have believed a policeman would turn up at someone’s place of employment to ‘check their thinking’.
I’m sure that would have been scoffed at as a half heard rumour.
I’m not saying it is or isn’t true, but honestly, nothing would surprise me these days

But ‘thee’ means ‘you’ not he or she, along with thou, thy, thine...

@Mycatismadeofstringcheese has your niece gone back yet? Presumably this was all a misunderstanding?

Ugh this is sad. My daughter (like a lot of kids really) Is a natural rules follower. If she’s taught a rule in school by a teacher she’ll do her best at it - and be distressed greatly if she “breaks” the rule.

I can imagine your child’s distress at Trying to follow this Awkward rule which is going to end up taking up her brain space that should Be devoted to actual learning.

I'd want confirmation from the school that this is true and why (before I started a thread on Mumsnet about it).

OP- can you give us the area in Suffolk or the name of the town.
If this is true, it really is quite important to know where this is happening.
Please try not to worry it may be something....it may be a misunderstanding

What year group is your niece?

@Aesopfable

But ‘thee’ means ‘you’ not he or she, along with thou, thy, thine...

It is also the way some people pronounce 'the'..

This would worry me too. Could you ask her parents to dig a little bit? They could surely ask questions without causing any trouble. Presumably if this is official school policy, there should be some kind of notice to parents?

Im getting sick 0f this crap it might as well be 1984, They way things are going don’t say this say that.

Compelled speech.

I'd ask what the consequences will be for students if they don't comply.

Awful.

'Could it be friends winding each other up. They know what's going on and lots of them think it's stupid.'

Yes thats what I assumed - maybe someone heard something/urban myth (oooohhhh, the kid at my brothers, friends cousins, neighbours school who was expelled for calling another child the wrong pronoun) and like Telegraph the message got slightly mangled in translation.

I hope its all ok - what stress it must be for the kids (and teachers)

Even if it's "they" it's complete and utter woke bollocks. The pronouns "he" and "she" refer to biological sex and are correct

I think the point is not whether they are correct, but whether they are relevant. If as feminists and gender critical we believe that people should be treated equally and neutrally regardless of their sex, then why should we continue to put up with a linguistic convention that makes it impossible to refer to someone without specifying their sex?

I'm going to against the grain here and say I think this is a great idea. I've always thought it absurd that we can only refer to an individual by specifying their sex, when sex is only relevant to a small minority of situations. If you want people not to always associate doctors and CEOs with maleness, or nurses and stay-at-home-parents with femaleness, then surely one part of that is not constantly reinforcing the sex of the individual through language? Why shouldn't I be able to just say "[that person] hit me", or "[that person] did anything else" without having commit to specifying that person's sex by the pronoun I use? Our pronouns don't specify height, weight or hair colour.

To be sure, making such a huge change to language is a big task. I've never liked any of the proposals so far. "They" just sounds wrong and confusing. Not sure about "the". The obvious problem is potential confusion with the definite article. Told, "The went to the shop", I think I'd want to ask "The WHAT went to the shop?".

But as a principle, bring it on.

I agree FifteenToes. I have long wanted a universal pronoun and, if we’re going to keep using them, title. But “the” is a little annoying and all the ones with ‘z’ or’x’ in them look daft and unpronounceable.

Why shouldn't I be able to just say "[that person] hit me", or "[that person] did anything else" without having commit to specifying that person's sex by the pronoun I use? Our pronouns don't specify height, weight or hair colour.

Might be ok somewhere where everyone knows the full names of the people they’re talking about.

But I can’t imagine it being very useful when reporting a crime by someone unknown, for example.

We’ve already seen what happens when crimes get reported in the press as having been committed by women, then you read the article and it’s clear as day that the person is male.

That's just fucking ridiculous, compelled speech tyranny.

If this is true it would make a wonderful sad face story for the DM.

I love a good dad horse faced photo in the newspapers. My parents did one (local press but oh the shame!)

Yes, I think neutral pronouns as the default would be best, and neutral honorifics

When reporting a crime you could say "the man", or even use the legacy term "he"

It's about pretending sex does not exist, it's about stopping the continual reminders of sex, the continual separation of male and female where it actually should not matter

Think they would be better than the though