Thanks for all the links and info; very illuminating. We have yet to discuss it but I'll report back...
old crone no worries and thanks for your contributions.
There are many other groups who are also at risk of violence. Do we really need to compile a league table of who is most at risk of violence from men?
That's an interesting point; I've been mulling it over. I think what we need to do as a society is better understand who is at risk from whom (as a group, not individuals, NAMALT, etc) in order to develop policies that provide the required protections.
The problem we are now having with women only spaces is that TRAs are arguing for access to women's spaces using the trans people are at risk too argument, therefore anyone who opposes it is mean and wishes harm to trans people. It's where that ridiculous 'rights aren't like pie' statement falls down- when rights are in conflict they are exactly like pie - more for one group means less for another. I guess I'm trying to argue, with evidence, what exactly is wrong with letting non natal women into women only spaces. It will help me write to my MP (I wrote a couple of years ago, he made positive noises and forwarded it to the then minister for women and communities who ignored all my questions and basically told me off for being a Trfy McTrfface .
I did counter my friend's assertion that trans people are in need of similar spaces too (debatable in the light of all available evidence people have kindly linked to above) with "why is that women's problem to solve? " - he looked surprised for a few seconds and then conceded that that is a very good point (yay!) .
He also asked "Isn't this like the people who say 'all lives matter' any time someone mentions BLM?"
I argued that that is false equivalence: you can't compare women as a group to white people because you're contrasting an oppressed group who demonstrably need protection with a privileged group who don't. Furthermore, the law currently acknowledges this by making provision for women to be protected and TRAs are campaigning for this protection to be removed (not necessarily maliciously but as a consequence of asserting that TWAW). Emancipation of black people did not involve taking away protections from white people, it involved bringing the rights of the two groups into an equal footing.
He got this. There is hope.
He also is in complete agreement that penises do not belong in women only spaces, ever.
Thanks to all for your contributions. I really hope I haven't been offensive in the BLM analogy, I wouldn't have made it myself as a white person but I have shared it here as I was asked the question and have seen it before on social media and thought that it needed examining and refuting. Please feel free to point out if I've got that wrong from a POC perspective.