Friend sent me this - am I over reacting?

[Mydogisthebestest]

I don’t normally post here

An old school friend sent me this today

He’s male. I’m female.
I don’t find it funny. And told him so.

And he’s said I have no sense of humour.

Am I over reacting?

The bit near the end about kids just made me feel sick.

This is something that has been widely shared in my family as my brother built his own deck - I found it hilarious.

Sorry!

I don't understand how it's offensive?

I Think it’s very funny !
My daughter showed me it when she was about 13

It’s the bit about kids on his dick (deck) at the end.

I do have a history of being abused and I felt it was making fun of CSA.

Looks like I owe my friend an apology. Thanks.

The bit near the end about kids just made me feel sick

It would have been OK and moderately funny were it not for that section. Very badly done.

Hang on though, the video I saw didn't have the 'caulk' bit I don't think? That is a bit

It was just the 'deck/dick' video I saw.

I don't understand how it's offensive?

The section about all the kids being on his deck is awful. The rest of it was funny but that section ruined it.

0.57 is where i got upset.

Hang on though, the video I saw didn't have the 'caulk' bit I don't think? That is a bit

The big, black caulk section is dreadful too. On its own the caulk section is OK.

Every kid in the neighbourhoods been on my dick this summer and they all had a good time.

Is what he says.

The big, black caulk section is dreadful too. On its own the caulk section is OK.

Yes, that was the bit I was talking about

And the big black caulk bit too. But I stopped at the every kid’s been on my dick the first time.

Sounds awful. I don’t blame you.

I’d probably say something abstract about not finding anything related to child sex abuse funny, and leave it at that. Or even that more people are victims of that than you think, so you don’t think it’s appropriate for humour.

If he is still offended...well. I probably wouldn’t care about losing a friend like that.

I can see why people might think that was a bit close to the edge, but that was kind of the point of the joke - it went at a fair clip from being a little silly to absurd to a rather darkish humour.

Not everyone likes dark humour, but that doesn't mean it's making light of something. I find that people who like gentle or lighter humour tend to equate jokes with not taking things seriously, but that's not really the case - that type of humour depends on the thing being serious for its impact.

Do you know what, it doesn’t matter whether we find it offensive. You did and maybe you would feel better and more empowered if you explained this calmly and simply to your friend? You don’t have to explain or apologies, nor accuse him of anything but simply state you found it upsetting and going forward please not send you anything like that again.

Isn't kid (kud) meant to sound like cunt?

The big, black caulk section is dreadful too. On its own the caulk section is OK. yes.

It's juvenile, but amusing. Like many such jokes, clearly taken too far.

I think I'd leave it though with your friend. It's ok to not find something funny, humour is subjective.

It was funny until the children comment. And then the whole big black caulk too.

I don't like this knowing comedy where the character is supposed to be clueless about racism etc and we're supposed to laugh at them but actually the whole thing just furthers the stereotypes.

Edgy, my arse.

I couldn’t watch after the child dick stuff. Not the first time. So I apologise for missing the black caulk. I just didn’t see it.

How can anyone think it’s funny. I just don’t get it at all.

And he’s said I have no sense of humour.

Tell him you've got an excellent sense of humour - it what enables you to differentiate between things which really are funny and things which aren't.

And that's ok. I'm sorry for what happened to you.

You don't have to justify why you don't find it funny. Some people laugh at Jimmy Carr etc, others at Mrs Brown's Boys. Your friend found it funny, I don't think that means he's a racist, or a paedophile, or finds those things funny. It probably just tickled him, and he wanted to make you laugh. Nice intentions, but it's ok to say it's not funny for you, and hopefully your long friendship will be unaffected.

I just wouldn't let him choose the comedy night!

Yeah, there is nothing wrong with saying - I don't like that kind of humour, or even that it upsets you.

I dislike slapstick humour, if it's gentle I find it just boring, but stuff that's gory I find upsetting and I can't really watch it. I had to leave the room when I was watching tv with my husband the other night when a guy in a show comically had his eyeballs pulled out with arrows. I don't think my husband actually thinks people having been tortured is funny, and in fact unlike me, he's seen quite a few people who were tortured.

I think I agree with others, that it was quite funny except for the joke about children, that's too far.
And to say you don't have a sense of humour because you don't appreciate jokes about children and a man's dick (deck).... Yeah, not many people find sexual innuendoes regarding children...

I didn't find it funny but I could kind of see why some do.

I used to love the double entendres of comedians when I was younger BUT they were on the basis that if you understood it then you were old enough to understand it.

Dick and Deck is nowhere near as funny - and even less clever. Good double entendres are very clever in a way that dick and deck totally fail.

I wouldn't apologise. I might just say that
'My idea of humour is different from yours and that I prefer humour that has an element of intelligence.' and that trivialising child sex abuse would always alienate you

I don't appreciate the kids reference at the end either

I found it funny bar the kids bit, even though I knew what it was about and that it was exaggerated on purpose. It's just that little bit too far and completely unnecessary given the whole array of double entendres they manage to put in the video.

I found it amusing until the kids bit. A step too far, that was very inappropriate.