The Baby Sitters Club

[RonaldMcDonald]

Watched it with my girls on Netflix today
Show where 12 y/o set up a babysitting club

One of the kids who they babysit is a young kid in a sparkly pink dress called Bailey maybe 8yo. Bailey spills water and when the young babysitter goes to get the kid new clothes all the clothes in the wardrobe are boys clothes

Those are my old clothes,” Bailey tells a surprised Mary Anne (babysitter)
Mary Anne then tells the viewer: “That's when I understood: Bailey was a little girl and her new clothes help people see it.”

Dawn ( another babysitter) helps Mary Anne understand Bailey.
“It's like this: Are you right-handed or left-handed?”
“Right,” Mary Anne responds.
“... And if someone tried to make you do everything with your left hand, it would be super-weird right?” Dawn asks before explaining: “... Well, that's how Bailey feels. The same way that you know that you’re right-handed, Bailey knows she's a girl. … We all want our outsides to match our insides.”

This gave me the absolute rage

I watched the series with my 10 year old DD. I felt the the same as you but you will definitely get mixed responses on this! This wasn't in the original book series I read as a kid, I understand they have tried to modernise it etc.

Ffs

I used to love this book series as a kid and I’m actually watching it right now!

"Be yourself! By completing changing who you are to fit narrow gender stereotypes!!" Great message for kids.

Don't forget to downvote it in Netflix.

Ugh. Leaving aside the ludicrous and creepy transitioning of tiny children, that just sounds like a really ridiculous plot twist.

Why on earth would they keep lots of old clothes sitting there? And wouldn't you sort of want to inform the teenager in some way in advance, in case they had to change them or something like this? (I mean, sure, gou'd hope your babysitter would be lovely and understanding but what if they didn't instantly respond the right way?)

Literally just watched this episode...and if I was a child or a teenager, I would think that this was an amazing episode and how brave Bailey and their parents are

As an adult, I’m sad that Bailey needs to be seen as a girl in order to like pink

I just googled and read an article about it which also said:

"Later in the episode, Mary Anne is babysitting Bailey alone when the latter becomes sick. The two are transported to the hospital, where medical personnel pull up the medical records and assume Bailey identifies as a boy. Mary Anne then steps in and tells them in a private chat: “Bailey is not a boy, and by treating her like one, you are completely ignoring who she is.”

Christ! I don't know the details or how they were "treating someone like a boy" ("hold this football while I shout manfully at you my lad"?) - but presumably Bailey might potentially still need medical care as a boy?

Netflix, please don't teach kids to lie to medics! I can see disasters happening there.

I had to have a gentle chat with DD after this one. After the bit in the hospital she thought the doctors were really mean for calling Bailey he.

I pointed out that yes, this upset Bailey, but that as Bailey could never be a she, how was he going to feel when he got older and realise all these adults had lied to him, and that encouraging someone to believe something that isn't true tends to add badly.

This episode made me angry too. It was just so insidious and totally telling kids that if boys like pink sparkles than their true self is a girl, and then all that stuff about being in the wrong body.

Ah the medical professions were saying how is he and let’s take a look at the little man, then handed over a blue hospital robe for him to change into. To which Bailey miserably said “ I don’t want blue”

Last time I looked, hospital gowns were all one colour

The insidiousness is infuriating isn't it. Its everywhere! And people wonder why there's a 2000% increase in referrals to places like The Tavistock! Absolutely enraging OP. Did you have a debrief with DC afterwards? It might be a good opportunity to discuss the notion of gender and the reality of sex now whilst it's fresh in her mind.

We all want our outsides to match our insides.”

Sure, let Bailey's outsides be whatever, wear the sparkly frock... just fgs don't initiate a path of changing your actual insides with hormones and surgery.

The inner 'I' is not a thing separate from the physical body, it's an integral part of it.

@sobriquet for paediatric patients in the US theyre usually different coloured.

The silly thing is that the books represented all kinds of girls and didn't insist on gender stereotyping! Kristy was definitely a tomboy, as was Mallory to an extent.

Stacey and Claudia were the ones who liked fashion and make-up.

The rest were all somewhere in between.

Yes. Kristy couldn’t be any less girly if she tried

She liked her hats and her sweaters. She liked her sports.

She didn’t like dresses

She wasn’t any less of a girl because of it

The 'left handed' comparison is so weak as well.

If you are actually right handed, despite people telling you you are left handed, then how do you know that? Because you can't do stuff with your left hand and can only do things effectively with your right hand.

If you are actually a girl, despite people telling you you are a boy, then how do you know that? Because you like things that society says only girls should like.....?

Hardly the same are they?

Saying our 'outsides matching our insides' when 'outsides' means sparkly dresses and 'insides' means 'girl' is just so fucking sexist.

How the fuck is this shit progressive???!

If you are actually right handed, despite people telling you you are left handed, then how do you know that? Because you can't do stuff with your left hand and can only do things effectively with your right hand.

I don't disagree with the critique of the programme but I'm conflicted about the RH, LH comparison. I remember children who'd been LH until they started school and then had a teacher who either beat them or tied the LH behind the back so that the child couldn't use the RH to eat lunch/write etc. It substantially reduced their ability to learn to write etc. and was mentally/emotionally traumatic.

I’ve just watched this series with my 9 year old. It dealt with many issues, blended families, same sex relationships, alternative religion, parental abandonment, helicopter parenting, grief, menstruation. And there was a transgender episode.

I’ll admit it took me by surprise but it also gave me an opportunity to discuss this issue with my daughter. In the following episode there is a small child of similar age declaring they are a cat/dog can’t remember which and it was helpful to explain that children often explore different roles for a time. That’s normal.

My opinions on medicalising children who probably are struggling with not fitting into a strict gender norm or struggling with sexuality are that it is wrong. Only adults are mature enough to make those choices. I’m also very concerned about the erosion of female rights and safety.

Overall it was a good tv series and I would recommend it as long as parents are aware that they may need to have some chats afterwards.

“That's when I understood: Bailey was a little girl and her new clothes help people see it.”

How are people so hard of thinking? Why can't Bailey just wear whatever Bailey wants to wear?

Nothing is preventing Bailey from wearing a dress. The RH/LH comparison is rubbish because anyone can wear anything. The only thing that stops a boy from wearing a dress is restrictive gender stereotypes.

“Bailey is not a boy, and by treating her like one, you are completely ignoring who she is.”

What does it mean to 'treat Bailey like a boy?'. Why not just treat Bailey like a young human being.

I just happened to walk into the room when my DC was watching this episode today. It was the hospital bit, and I must say it did in fact give me a bit of a rage too. I agree with Zoflora though that it is generally a good series for exploring themes from a kid perspective, and opens up a conversation on a level. Maryanne tells the doctors to treat Bailey like a girl because he IS a girl which was annoying for this emphasis - but the point behind it of treating the child as an individual not just what the piece of paper says was a good one. And 50% of that scene was to do with the older girl finding her voice to speak up, which is also a good message. It still made me rage about stereotypes, though.

Not sure if this has been mentioned yet but Bailey is played by Kai Shappley who has been spoken about on here a few times before. Kai is the child whose mother used to beat them for playing with dolls...obviously child abuse is progressive these days .

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3408173-Kai-Shappley-A-Trans-Girl-Growing-Up-In-Texas

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breeching_(boys)

Until relatively recently young boys wore dresses and it has often been fashionable for men to have long hair.

Pink and sparkly children’s clothes are a recent development, because cheap mass produced clothes are a recent development.

50-60 years ago corporal punishment was part of life and child abuse was routinely ignored, so I’m not going to pretend that everything was lovely, but toys and paid activities for young children were limited, so children Just had to play with whatever was available.

Why can’t any one explain any of this in a way that doesn’t depend on (very culturally specific) gender stereotypes? Why do so many people think that a boy who likes glitter might need surgery?

Franklin D Roosevelt in 1882, age 2.

I watched this with my 11 year old yesterday and my jaw-dropped. It was so crass. This small child has a cupboard full of children's clothes "the old clothes" and a drawer full of pink tulle and silver sparkles - so if you're not a boy then you're a fairy princess? This small child is traumatised at the idea of a blue hospital gown while the girl berating the medical staff is wearing a blue jumper? The simplistic stereotypes underpinning the story were mind-boggling. My daughter has just discovered the series and books and this episode is so clearly a box ticking "right-on" Netflix creation.

My DS has had long hair almost all his life. At Bailey’s age he had Disney dresses/fairy wings/etc in his dress-up box. If I’d had to rush him to hospital while he was dressed as Elsa, he’d have looked just like Bailey, but he’d have been a boy who identified as a boy. I’d have expected him to have been medically treated like a boy. Though I would probably have assumed that a nurse/doctor would look at him and double check they had the correct chart. But what MaryAnne wanted would have erased my DS’s identity. Little boys occasionally feel like wearing a pretty dress because nobody has told them it’s not ok. And it means as much as it does when they dress as Batman or a horse or a dragon.

It was a pity, as I feel TBSC was otherwise a really well done series.

One thing that bothered me, is that the doctors came in and started talking about seeing the little fella

There was a child there dressed like a girl and looking very girly, and once did they double check with the patient that they had the right chart

Yes I know it’s a TV show, yes I know he’s a boy, but wouldn’t you as a health professional just double check that you have the correct chart for Bailey