I’m being viciously attacked in a group for disagreeing with someone who said JK Rowling is a transphobe

[theuntameableshrew]

It’s the first time I’ve put my head above the parapet publicly and the vicious backlash is huge and frightening. I feel like I’m in a playground being bullied by people chanting horrible hateful sweary things. No actual arguments just abuse and TWAW so shut up. I was tempted to take down what I wrote as I was so scared but I’d feel like a coward and a crap feminist if I did.

Handhold for you. It is terrifying, isn't it. I was told that 'terfs get stepped on' by what was a previously lovely group of Sherlock fans. I left the group because I realised that I couldn't believe anything they were saying.

I’m so sorry. Have a handhold x honestly if it’s impacting your MH leave the group. It’s not worth it

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately this has also happened to me and other people I know. I think that Facebook in particular is awful for discussion. I had a male friend who objected to a post by a friend that called for violence against “TERFS” and he said it was like running a gauntlet. She began attacking him and calling him a bigot, and then all of her friends leapt in to denounce him (people who he had never heard of.)

I think that it’s best to block these people on Facebook and just not engage anymore if they behave like that. Interestingly, my male friend discovered his Facebook friend wasn’t as zealous as she appeared - he stopped talking to her in real life and she got incredibly upset about that! It’s like people think because they say things online there aren’t any consequences in real life.

For what it’s worth I find it very fruitful to have conversations in real life. I’ve talked about this issue with people who have very aggressive online personas and in person they are very reasonable. I think it’s harder to attack someone in a face to face setting. So maybe try discussing this offline only?

thats dreadful - ive been there. theyre all outraged and feeding into each others stupid self-righteousness

i would flounce from the group but not before making a big speech....

what kind of group is it?

I had to leave a Terry Pratchett group of all things because of this. The hate and bile spewed at a poster who dared to say the wrong (GC) thing was terrifying and made me feel ill.

Just link them to the break it down for me thread here and ignore.

It's awful stuff. Sympathy.

They never want to get into a reasonable debate.

They just keep shrieking TWAW and trans rights are human rights and not seeing the irony that they are literally saying that “terfs should be killed or seriously maimed”

@WeeBisom

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately this has also happened to me and other people I know. I think that Facebook in particular is awful for discussion. I had a male friend who objected to a post by a friend that called for violence against “TERFS” and he said it was like running a gauntlet. She began attacking him and calling him a bigot, and then all of her friends leapt in to denounce him (people who he had never heard of.)

I think that it’s best to block these people on Facebook and just not engage anymore if they behave like that. Interestingly, my male friend discovered his Facebook friend wasn’t as zealous as she appeared - he stopped talking to her in real life and she got incredibly upset about that! It’s like people think because they say things online there aren’t any consequences in real life.

For what it’s worth I find it very fruitful to have conversations in real life. I’ve talked about this issue with people who have very aggressive online personas and in person they are very reasonable. I think it’s harder to attack someone in a face to face setting. So maybe try discussing this offline only?

Agree with that.

Interestingly, I found 2/3 of my Facebook friends support my views, even if most only do so via PM, from fear. A couple do so openly, and a few more via 'likes'.

Most people want trans people to have rights and protections. They just want women's to be retained, too. And the fact that saying that leads to such huge risks is evidence of the level of societal misogyny. So few people mean trans men, when talking trans rights. They mean trans women. So what they really mean is: women mean less than male people, however those male people identify.

The people screaming loudest are not the most representative. They're just the noisiest. There will be many, many lurkers who absolutely agree with you.

Post this link( from another thread) and see if you receive any rational replies. Then leave the group.
forwomen.scot/did-you-know/

I wonder what that Pratchett group made of Monstrous Regiment?

I’m also intrigued what group?

Same thing can happen here when some 'woke' man come along to tell us we are wrong for sticking up for JK. It's just how the internet works. I've learned you can't educate a mob.

First couple of times I posted GC on fbook I was attacked. I backed off but then thought fuck it. I blocked the couple of main offenders who were Labour Party people I didn’t know in real life. I recently posted 2 articles supporting JK and had mainly support which was lovely. 3 people had a “ she’s a fucking terf “ rant and I politely explained that I do t have people abusing women on my page and that sadly I will be unfriending them . Lots of likes for doing . that. My sense was that the tide is turning . You are not alone 🌹

handhold, OP.

Thanks so much for all the support and advice. I’m sorry this or similar has happened to so many others here too

I knew by speaking out I’d face a backlash, but I wasn’t prepared for the level of hate and bile from other women I got

It’s a group for women who do a certain thing. Happy to pm details but would be outing to name here

@classicspring that link is stunningly good!

@theuntameableshrew

It’s a group for women who do a certain thing. Happy to pm details but would be outing to name here

Don't feel you have to out yourself to anyone.

In any case, precisely what it was doesn't matter. As far as I can see the ideology has got its tentacles everywhere - writers' groups, book groups, feminist groups, lesbian groups, amateur music, journalism, you name it. One of the most vicious purity spirals of recent years was in the online knitting world, for God's sake!

This is horrible but sadly not unusual. I agree with the poster who advised leaving the group if its upsetting you. Two of my Facebook friends have started posting ' I'm.not a TERF but...' type stuff. Perhaps we are at a watershed moment. The main thing is to remember this : tens of millions agree with you .

@theuntameableshrew

Thanks so much for all the support and advice. I’m sorry this or similar has happened to so many others here too

I knew by speaking out I’d face a backlash, but I wasn’t prepared for the level of hate and bile from other women I got

It's horrific at the moment, and really dispiriting. I keep trying to reassure myself that the viciousness of the backlash right now is because they've had two major blows (alongside the lockdown crazy overinvestment in social media). The Tory government is set to kick the GRA reform out and JK speaking out poured sunlight all over the issue. I think the thing to remember with any movement is you're not trying to convert the people already opposed. You're trying to open the eyes of the people who haven't really heard about the issue yet or who haven't formed a hard opinion yet. And that's most people frankly because the whole trans approach was to slip all the changes through very quietly.

I've had something similar on a group I was on, really brave girl put her head above the parapet so I tried to add some support but they were vicious and totally unprepared to listen. One said they had screenshotted her message (which was very kind/pleasant and reasonable) in case she 'dirty deletes'. Wtf for??! Noticed once she'd stuck her head up quite a few other people got brave before they closed the comments though .