Pronoun rules at work

[RatinaMaze]

My workplace have just announced that “they/their” pronouns will be used for all staff members by default now. Apparently this neutral pronoun removes any unintentional offence and normalises non-binary colleagues. There is a caveat though; staff members who have transitioned may feel upset by not being able to use the pronoun aligned to their gender so, in these cases, the individuals can use he/him or she/her as appropriate.

Let me repeat this. Biological men and women are no longer allowed to use he/she pronouns in the workplace but transpeople are.

You know what would normalise non-binary? Encouraging bio-males to use he/him and bio females to use she/her but doing so while wearing what they want and pursuing whatever hobbies they want. Susan in Accounts might have shaved her head, wears no make-up and enjoys taking cars apart at the weekend while Mike in Marketing might wear eyeliner and/or a dress and spend his evening decorating cupcakes. That is called having a personality and it is already normal. I don’t know anyone who lives every minute of their lives in a way that adheres to the stereotype of the gender norm that society has associated with their biological sex. We are all non-binary, except we don’t call it that because it is a normal state. We don’t need to impose pronouns to normalise this.

I can't speak up. I can't afford to lose my job.

[SarahTancredi]

This shows its just about controlling people/attention seeking rather than any form of inclusion.

Talk about being the centre if attention when no one even knows who it is.

Its ingenious really

[gonesolo]

This sounds like a plot idea for that W1A series.

[thereplycamefromanchorage]

What do your colleagues think? Surely there's a huge amount of eye rolling about this?

[ScrimpshawTheSecond]

rules like these are a fabulous method of eliciting sympathy to the gc cause.

[GroggyLegs]

Because I like my job, I would try & respect people's face to face pronouns where they'd explicitly expressed a preference, but for the 99.9% of my colleagues who aren't absorbed by this current social contagion, I'd carry on as per.

[DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong]

It’ll never work, everyone will skip back into ‘say what you see’ mode and more time will be spent apologising than getting actual shit done.

[Mycatismadeofstringcheese]

Wow your company must be doing really well in lockdown to be able to spend hours and hours on resource managing this.

• Checking and rewriting your website, intranet site, marketing material, training courses, procedure manuals etc.
  
• Hours of HR time managing grievances when someone forgets and they have to investigate
  
• I’d also be concerned about data management of who has opted in and out and reasons why - could be open to lawsuit if used inappropriately.
  
• Oh and rising recruitment costs as everyone starts looking for another job.
  

That or it will all fizzle out in a week or do as everyone just ignores it.

[DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong]

Have they done an impact assessment on how this will effect those who speak English as a second language or are non-neurotypical? What about those experiencing temporary cognitive issues due to illness/accident/life stage?

Has anyone thought how it will be incompatible with how U.K. maternity law is written?

Are contractors also obliged to stick to the rule? From the bottom to the top? What about when chatting about family stuff in downtime? Are people still allowed to refer to their partners as she or he? What about kids?

Do birthday cards and cakes have to be gender neutral? Dress codes? How will the gender pay gap be monitored?

I would probably come up with a ridiculously long list of questions and keep HR busy for a month. You could even be a collection point for colleagues questions!

[DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong]

Presumably, now that pronouns are banned (except for very special people) you at least won’t have to put them in your email signature?!

[transdimensional]

@RednaxelasLunch

Zhe/zhey for the NB I guess?

Or "ze", "zir" / "xe", "xir" / "ho", "hem" / "per", "per" ?

[MarieIVanArkleStinks]

I have a few colleagues in my field who go by 'they'. This isn't a distinction which rolls naturally off the tongue. It needs to be thought through carefully before speaking, and in the face of all effort to the contrary you will sometimes find yourself lapsing into the default 'he' or 'she'. However employers try to impose this, they're doubtful to succeed in changing the way a whole generation of employees speak about each other; particularly when nothing offensive is being said.

I will not, ever, announce 'my' pronouns on email signatures or elsewhere. I suppose these employers who are up to their necks in 'allies' - of which mine is one - will then suggest that if people choose not to announce 'their' pronouns then they can't complain of having them imposed on us. But I'm not 'they'. There's only one of me, for starters. Wouldn't 'it' be more accurate?

I just wish this whole bucket of shit would get to fuckery, and take its Newspeak, Wrongthink, and attendant policing of other people's language with it.

[PurpleHoodie]

Neutral pronouns will be the default but anyone can opt out if they want....

I'd openly opt out, and I wouldn't give two hoots what they thought about that.

[transdimensional]

I think there is some confusion in the terminology of the OP (which is probably mirroring similar confusion on the part of those who wrote the guidance).

It's not the case that males use the pronoun "he", females "she", etc. Rather, everyone uses all the pronouns. We use different pronouns depending on who we are referring to (not depending on who we are).

So when people say "men use the pronoun 'he'", the correct way of stating that would be "men expect other other people to use the pronoun 'he' when referring to them".

When people say "this non-binary person uses 'they'", the correct way of phrasing that would be "this non-binary person asks others to use 'they' when referring to them".

After all, we all the use pronoun "they" - and "he", "she", "it", "I", "you", etc.

[StealthPolarBear]

I'd just opt out in solidarity with trans colleagues :)

[TrickyKid]

Ffs. I would completely ignore this ridiculous idea.

[christinarossetti19]

I don't think it's discriminating against trans people - it's not saying that they must out themselves as trans by using a gender specific pronoun.

But I agree completely with DuDuDu. Impact assessment, extent of reach, contractors, internal and external comms. The list of questions to kick this into the long grass is endless.

Although on a serious note, does anyone else remember the experiment that two estate agents did, and swapped signature names for a bit? The male colleague hadn't taken his female colleague's complaints that people didn't take her seriously, kept asking to speak to someone senior, used really simple language etc etc seriously until he tried signing off with a female name.

I don't think the solution to this is for women to change their names and titles to be masculine or gender neutral btw. It's wider attitudes that need to change.

[SerenityNowwwww]

What if you just refuse to have any - at all? Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

[GCAcademic]

I would complain on the basis that the pronoun “they” is attached to a specific identity, and it’s presumptuous and insensitive to assume that you identify as non-binary. Turn the tables on HR and let it be known that they are bigots who have triggered you.

[Lottapianos]

Completely and utterly nuts. What sort of person thinks this is in any way vaguely reasonable?

Surely the stupidity and the madness are so strong that they have to burn themselves out sooner rather than later? In the meantime, I would be ignoring all this shit like my life depended on it

[TinselAngel]

What if you just refuse to have any - at all? Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

That would be quite funny.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

What happens if all the biological women tell HR that they identify as trans and wish to use the pronoun ‘she’, @RatinaMaze?

[SerenityNowwwww]

‘ But Serenity...what do we say when you aren’t there and we are talking about you?

‘You don’t talk about me - ever.’😡😡😡


Oh, the fun I’d have... a friend keeps getting emails at work for various things asking for their race (tick box exercise). I have suggested they tick a different box every time and see what they say. Ditto ‘gender’ box.

[StealthPolarBear]

@GCAcademic

I would complain on the basis that the pronoun “they” is attached to a specific identity, and it’s presumptuous and insensitive to assume that you identify as non-binary. Turn the tables on HR and let it be known that they are bigots who have triggered you.

Brilliant

[HUCKMUCK]

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

What happens if all the biological women tell HR that they identify as trans and wish to use the pronoun ‘she’, *@RatinaMaze*?

I was just about to suggest the same thing!

[andyoldlabour]

Oh dear, the slippery slope just got a whole lot more slippery. I do wonder how a company can get away with this if the majority disagree with it, which I am sure they do.