Dominant Women?

[RealityBased]

Not a TAAT nor personal but, admittedly, inspired by both a) some of the responses on the Johnny Depp thread and b) performance evaluation meetings I've had this year.

Please talk to me about women being "dominant". I know it's something I supposedly am - and the responses I receive are quite mixed, to be honest: I'm getting both "I can't believe they didn't make you the COO of this place two years ago" as well as "FFS, STOP steamrolling people".

But, yes, please! Talk to me about women being "dominant" - or being perceived as such.

I did ask the Google - down a rabbit hole of straps, leather and it all being about sex I went. Not the answers I was looking for.

What does it mean for women to be "dominant", though?

What part of this is gendered expectations and what part is "actually a bully"?

How do such women relate to men who - again, measured against the average gendered expectations of males - are decidedly NOT dominant?

Try searching for assertive instead

How do such women relate to men who - again, measured against the average gendered expectations of males - are decidedly NOT dominant?

Very comfortably, ime.

But that's sort of the precise point, though, isn't it?

"Assertive" is what one would call a man displaying at least some of these behaviours ... also: NOT the word used.

That's precisely what I'm trying and failing to understand.

The difference is just sexism.

The difference is just sexism

This.

I think there's a clear conceptual difference between dominating and domineering; the former is for the sake of achieving an outcome, the latter is for the sake of the ego. In practice, I think it's harder to place a specific action or series of actions into one category or the other and perceptions will vary based on preconceptions as much as the reality of those actions.

The 1950s can offer type A and type B personalities.
The free fiction on Apple Bookstore can offer “Alpha”.
Would one of these words be better?

I think dominant is used in psychology as a personality feature, as opposed to assertive which can be more of a learned behaviour.

Someone who is passive can learn to be more assertive, but they probably won't change their basic personality.

My sister is a dominant personality, she's been in charge in short order in almost every job she's ever had. She's had to learn how to hold back a bit though and give others space.