HR advice?

[HRQuery]

Hi, I’ve name changed for this in case it’s outing.

I’m a manager & was recently contacted by a junior female member of staff about a sex discrimination issue involving a more senior male manager (senior to both of us).

I communicated these concerns to the more senior manager concerned & have got a really hostile, aggressive response.

Obviously I’m going to have to work out what to do about this in terms of the original complaint. But meanwhile I’m unfortunately meant to be having my own regular periodic review with this man on Monday!

I don’t want this to go ahead- he’s been so aggressive that talking with him about my work needs at the moment would just be a joke. (It’s not an appraisal, more of a check in.)

To be honest I feel upset and intimidated by him & don’t want to go anywhere near him.

I’d like to cancel the scheduled meeting but I’m struggling with what to say. I want to avoid escalating and definitely don’t want to get into the merits of the original allegation when cancelling as that needs to be dealt with separately. Also I don’t want to say anything that could be held against me - unfortunately I suspect now he is going to be looking for anything that justifies penalising and criticising me.

Can anyone with HR experience suggest the line I should take in cancelling?

Is this a face to face meeting or online?

HR will always ask what you have done to resolve this directly with the person and so a routine meeting is ideal for that? I would go and be as quiet as possible and let him set the agenda. He ought to be reflecting on his response to the feedback and explaining his over reaction.

If he doesn't bring it up, after the meeting follow up with a written summary of the problem and his earlier response and ask again what action he will be taking. If he does bring it up and is still unreasonable then the same applies.

Depending on the reaction you may need to escalate to HR and his boss too, if he won't accept the issue. People don't like criticism and so this is shitty but not surprising. You have to press on with it.

Thank you Fanta. It’s been very upsetting.

He’s always been a bit of a hectorer.

I realise you are upset but don't let it go for that reason, you have process and law on your side. You will feel better for taking a stand.