Jean, youve obviously got an opinion that's very very hard line. I understand why you have those views.
You can try and smear me all you like and insinuate I'm some sort of 'male sympathiser' but quite frankly I don't care.
That's just more puritanism and I've bloody had enough of ideological purity over pragmatism and an acknowledgement that people can have really good intentions whilst reserving the right to be human and not utterly perfect.
I think taking such a hard and frankly unattainable standard as a minimum is extremely counterproductive in the long term. Given that authoritarianism in general is bad for women and has resulted in this ridiculous 'cancel culture' which removes the thought process behind public condemnation and reduces it to nitpicking words rather than meaningful and appropriate measured action and civil debate I'm loath to support it unconditionally even in this area.
Its extremely toxic and particularly l to the detriment of women I'm not sure how it helps. Women are consistently asked to perform and be held to higher standards than men which are often unachievable. I'm not sure how applying that to men, helps to improve things for women. It strikes me as a race to the bottom in terms of a purity spiral.
There are times to be critical and times to go 'OK maybe they didn't go as far as I'd like or hoped, but actually I can see they really have tried and got the right idea, which might help pave the way for more doing the same and general progress in that area'. Otherwise it just ends up being perceived as just kicking people for the sake of kicking them and doesn't motivate others who think 'well even if I try and do the right thing, I'm going to get shit for it'. Which actually alienates. I really do think the intention and action (rather than purely a lame statement saying the 'right things') is 'good enough' from the band.
The other band members have been strong in their messaging.
'Guilt by association' as an attitude isn't going to improve anything. We often are powerless to the actions of those around us even if we've tried to persuade or influence to the contrary.
Thats not how human psychology works.
The rest of the band should be able to try and resume a career. If they can't it only reinforces the idea that it's financially and socially better just to suck up domestic violence of your friends and associates because if you don't, you are fucked.
I'm sorry if that doesn't 'cut it' enough for your high standards as a view, but I view it as the way to progress in the long term rather than merely participating in this fashion of public demonstrations of meaningless statement making. I think 'reasonableness' is an often overlooked and undervalued value at present. I fear that failure to be reasonable will ultimately come at a cost for many.
Have the rest of the band acted reasonably even if they aren't perfect in the eyes of everyone? Have their actions been genuinely intended to make the point that they really don't condone this type of behaviour? I do not think it's without personal cost either. There is a bigger picture here at stake. I certainly think it's yes to both counts and I'm not going to push it further in demanding they do more or that they have somehow 'failed to do enough'.
That way just lies madness.