Looking for a handhold. Come out as GC

[Wolfgirrl]

Hi ladies

So, I did it. I posted my disapproval of drag queens on FB yesterday (they are Womanface, nothing more nothing less). After several critical comments, one of which calling me a 'ciswoman', I said I find the term offensive and would prefer to just be called a woman. One of my colleagues joined in although in a more on-the-fence way. One friend thanked me for speaking up, another one has called me homophobic and transphobic (didnt mention sexual orientation or trans whatsoever).

On one hand I am relieved, on the other I am now worried for my job and feel myself about to be disowned by friends.. just looking for support I guess, for someone to tell me I did the right thing in expressing my opinion. Feel quite tearful.

This is a really brave thing to do, you should be proud of yourself. You are part of a wave of women who are beginning to turn the tide - which I, to my shame, have only dipped my toe into. It’s great that some friends have supported you. I’m afraid it’s inevitable that some will not support you (DH has lost his best friend because of GC views, which the friend blames on my corrupting him!). But you will embolden so many others and make some who haven’t really thought it through think twice. I really think any friend who will only understand your views by labelling you phobic is not a friend at all. You have my admiration and my thanks.

Well done, you're very brave.

I was called a TERF for objecting to cis.

Well done. Every time one of us speaks out we give permission for others to start questioning too. As you've seen from the response to your post about drag, you'll get varied reactions. Some people will never listen but you will have given others something to think about. Now keep reading the threads here and learn how to tackle any questions that are thrown in your direction and keep telling people how you see things.

You may not get a lot of support here because many of us have been doing this, and taking the flak, for years. It's not that we're not sympathetic or glad you've done what you've done but that we don't all have the time required to hold everyone's hands. Good luck and now you've started, keep going.

Well done for being honest. Hopefully your friends who feel the same way as you but have been silenced will be empowered by it. It’s important that we keep talki.

Well done for speaking out.

Well done! I've recently come out as GC but it was easier because a gay friend started posting about the ridiculousness and I started off by liking his posts. I now share easy to understand things, and although not many people like or comment publicly I do get personal messages giving opinions. I've just spent the weekend having a wonderfully easy discussion with young relatives who I shared the teen vogue article describing women as non prostrate havers and men as prostrate havers. They were incensed 😁. I've also lost a lifelong friend along the way, when I first started out and was maybe a bit too full on. However her telling me I just needed to be kind and that I'd been corrupted by Mumsnet made me realise she wasn't a friend if she couldn't discuss my point of view. It made me realise it's important to drip feed the simple stuff - it's not easy for anyone to argue with you about it. You're very brave to do this, and the more of us who point out the emperor has no clothes the sooner the tsunami of opposition will stop this.

Arghh! Prostate! Damn you auto correct!!

So, if you reject the label 'cis' you earn the label 'TERF'. Polarisation, much?

Hi Wolf, brave move! Stand steady in your boots. You know you're not wrong. Anybody who thinks that men are women has at least one problem!

You mentioned some colleagues have commented on FB. It might be an idea to double check your work is in not way linked to your account. This can be via Twitter, LinkedIn - anything. You don't want them to be able to bring it into work via your own inter-page links.

Well done though! The more of us who are seen, the more others feel able to speak out too.

Well done, @Wolfgirrl.
I'll hold your hand, and will also be impressed. Personally, although I'm getting there, I haven't been brave enough yet to do what you've done.

You have been extremely brave. Not an easy move to make.

Good on you!

Awesome. You will find a lot of support I'm sure, and friends who will be relieved you were brave enough to say it first.

Thank you! I wasnt fishing to be told I'm a trailblazer or anything (I'm very late to this!), really just kinship with other women who feel torn between speaking their conscious and protecting their lifestyle. But ultimately I have a daughter, I cannot be complicit via silence in anything that creates a toxic misogynistic culture for her to grow up in

Well done!
I liked a pro JK post in a discussion on a local FB page - nothing huge, just saying her essay was an opinion and not transphobic and I actually felt nervous! Goodness knows why, I hardly expect a mob of pitchforks at my door.
Afterwards I felt liberated. I'm not brave enough to post any standalone comments just yet. But I feel that day is coming and for now I just lend my support to those who are.

Well done.

If any of your colleagues are replying take screenshots and start documenting everything they say to you, online offline.

If it does go to disciplinary at any point and your work starts to take action file an SRA request under the GDPR which means they have to give you every single internal document with your name on it - including emails from colleagues that may have complained to HR (they'll tip-ex out the names of the senders/receivers but it'll usually be pretty easy to figure out who said what from context).

Hopefully coming out as GC won't affect your work at all but it never hurts to be prepared.

(Oh, and well done!!)

Hey, well done!
It’s scary first, but gets easier and after a while I just stopped giving a damn about the terf comments.
You’ll lose some friends but will gain new ones. Join a local feminist group if you can find one, nothing beats real life support

hand hold

I have only recently put my head above the parapet. Everytime I say anything, I shit myself and fear for my job.

God knows why, im not against trans, gay or anything, just the eradication of women.

@QuarantineDream thanks I will do that!

How have we got this point, how have we sleep walked into not even being able to call ourselves women?! I imagined anything as ludicrous as that would be at least another 30 years away but it has all come at once. It is so disappointing to see people you previously saw as strong women, turn into nothing more than a patriarchal mouthpiece without even realising they are doing it.

On one hand I am relieved, on the other I am now worried for my job and feel myself about to be disowned by friends.. just looking for support I guess, for someone to tell me I did the right thing in expressing my opinion. Feel quite tearful.

Well done for being brave it's hard when your friends disagree, but it's even harder to have to go along with something you believe is harmful and untrue. You can be proud that you are being true to yourself and your daughter.

Well done, I’ve lost several friends by being GC on Facebook. I’d rather lose my friends than my principles though.

I’ve had more support online ever time I’ve stepped up. Solidarity x