Middle aged still not supposed to want sex. Antidepressants vs HRT

[ahumanfemale]

This isn't a TAAT although there's one going on a similar issue in the Menopause board.

The older I get, the more I find The Rage arising in me at how middle aged women are treated. I fully expect to be a rage tornado by the time I'm elderly.

Medicines that women are prescribed have not been tested on women's bodies because they're too volatile what with hormonal fluctuations and menstruation. We know that and it's bad enough.

But where is the system trying to rectify the bias?

Women in peri/menopause are routinely dismissed with their symptoms and told to embrace it, just as women who have thyroid problems are told to reduce their stress, eat better and exercise more. There's simply no way men are treated like this.

And then now it appears that many women not only don't have access to HRT, but are being prescribed anti depressants (one in particular) instead that cuts the sex drive.

In what world would men as a group routinely be expected to live sexless lives or lives with no sex drive?

The way in which media isn't interested in women as they age, in which the trans movement that does many join up to scrap heap middle aged women annoys me, but to actively tell women they can't have HRT, but they can have no sex drive via an antidepressant is despicable.

I wish all the young and woke girls who think we're being bigoted to insist biology isn't real, had half a clue what awaits them.

That middle aged women could be in their sexual prime, is irrelevant, because we're not deemed as attractive to men therefore we don't enjoy sex. It's made me think that we need to make women's sexuality throughout the lifespan a far higher issue in the world. It's literally worth nothing, even to those who are supposed to be looking after our health.

You exists to produce babies, you can't produce babies so your sex life doesn't matter ?

It's not best practise to prescribe antidepressants where HRT is needed

Is there still an HRT shortage?

I believe there is still a shortage (I'm not involved in procurement though!).

ADs seem to be useful in reducing hot flushes - cos that's the only issue with menopause. HRTs are being linked to health risks in some places.

There is still an HRT shortage in certain types of HRT but not all (in answer to your question @midgebabe). I’ve recently started HRT - I’m 39 in peri due to health conditions- and had no trouble sourcing it. I’m on the oestrogel and Utrogestan. I’m a member of a large online (20k plus) menopause forum and the shortage seems to be with some of the patches.

Anyway, I agree with you op. I think women are routinely dismissed and not given the correct treatment (HRT). Dr Newson (of Newson Health - that’s where I had my consultation) has spoken about this a lot on her website and You Tube channels.

However, I think it’s also important to remember that a lot of middle aged women do go off sex completely- even when they have the right treatment- and that’s okay too. So many women on the menopause forum are not remotely interested in sex at all and therefore anything that dampens their sex drive makes no difference to them whatsoever and if it improves their lives in other ways that’s all they’re worried about. Different strokes for different folks etc.

Sometimes the pressure on middle aged women to keep having sex and still have a libido is almost as bad - it’s okay and relatively normal for a lot of people (men and women) to want less sex as they get older. If people want to try to reverse that for themselves that’s absolutely fine I just think the media makes out everyone should be swinging from the chandeliers at 70 having epic sex and not everyone wants that at all.

It is bloody infuriating how many GPs still have this attitude of "prescribe ADs" even when a woman comes to them saying "I've researched it, I understand the pros and cons, and, btw, here's the NICE clinical guidelines which say 'don't prescribe ADs as a first line of treatment, the first line of treatment is HRT, and it should be prescribed based on symptoms, not blood tests, because blood hormone levels fluctuate so much during perimenopause a one-off blood test is not an accurate guide.'"

It's blatant bloody medical paternalism (in the systematic, institutionalised sense of paternalism, not a male vs. female doctors sense ) and it's sexism, because of the sex of the patients involved. Look at viagra, now available off prescription over the counter.

So many aspects of women's health care - HRT, repair of birth injuries, post natal incontinence problems - are not taken seriously.

It’s important here to make the distinction that anti depressants (more particularly) don’t reduce your ability to have penetrative sex or usually change your sex drive.

What they do for many women is make it incredibly difficult or impossible to have an orgasm. I am happily single and have no interest in having a sexual partner. I still think it is absurd that doctors have prescribed me SSRIs without any discussion of bye bye orgasm.

It's rare but I developed hypopituitarism after a brain trauma. It went undiagnosed for a stupidly long time because who cares about women who report a complete lack of sex drive, headaches, or a substantial gain in body fat (I never left the normal BMI range but looked supermorbidly obese - which I was metabolically because I lost so much lean body mass).

www.pituitary.org.uk/information/pituitary-conditions/hypopituitarism/

@EmbarrassingAdmissions I have exactly the same thing.

I have exactly the same thing.

I very nearly wrote, "Allegedly rare" - because I suspect it's substantially under-diagnosed, especially in women.

@CaraDune

It is bloody infuriating how many GPs still have this attitude of "prescribe ADs" even when a woman comes to them saying "I've researched it, I understand the pros and cons, and, btw, here's the NICE clinical guidelines which say 'don't prescribe ADs as a first line of treatment, the first line of treatment is HRT, and it should be prescribed based on symptoms, not blood tests, because blood hormone levels fluctuate so much during perimenopause a one-off blood test is not an accurate guide.'"

It's blatant bloody medical paternalism (in the systematic, institutionalised sense of paternalism, not a male vs. female doctors sense ) and it's sexism, because of the sex of the patients involved. Look at viagra, now available off prescription over the counter.

So many aspects of women's health care - HRT, repair of birth injuries, post natal incontinence problems - are not taken seriously.

Yes. This.

My GP is constantly trying to persuade me to come off HRT, despite me probably knowing more about it than him. I was very blunt last time, and asked him if he really thought it was OK to tell me I am no longer entitled to a sex life?!

He couldn't print the prescription fast enough. But I expect to have to go through this rigmarole every bloody six months.

Totally agree that if this was men’s bodies the whole menopause issue would be treated completely differently by the medical profession and society. I am 49 and have found the patches wonderful but hard to get hold of. I’m with a lovely new partner (after a long marriage & 4 children) and enjoying a fulfilling sex life, but I completely accept that I will be on the patches until the end of my life- and will have to fight for them every six months. There is too little research into menopause and too few GPs who are clued up about it. I’ve done a couple of excellent workshops plus I follow Dr Newsom’s wisdom on this subject online. Women need to arm themselves with all the facts and find out what works for them, individually - one size does not fit all.

Yes, I agree, it's woeful. GP wanted me to have a blood test and take ADs and was not put off when I pointed out that NICE guidelines advise against both.

The only thing I can add here is that I may have done my research and think I understand the pros and cons, but I still want my doctor (GP, specialist or whoever is going to prescribe) to have an even better understanding than I do and be able to advise. I'm sick of having to know more than my doctor about this stuff.

Ironically they keep asking me about penetrative sex (do I bleed? am I dry?) indicating that the health of my vagina and uterus are relative to someone else's penis. When I say penetration isn't part of my repetoire they don't know what to say.

Like you OP I feel like a vortex of rage. I couldn't care less about not being able to reproduce or 'loss of femininity' or whatever rubbish I was told to expect at this age, but I do feel very hurt and angry about how I'm being treated, and I'm very afraid for the future.

This is awful.

I briefly took the lowest dose of an AD in my 20s and it destroyed my sex drive for years. As did the contraceptive pill (stopping the pill in my mid 30s has been a total revelation!)

But who cares if a woman desires sex or not, I guess. As long as she puts out when necessary all is good. And rape is practically legal anyway.