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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunbury's guide to community disruptors part 5

983 replies

ItsLateHumpty · 20/06/2020 15:04

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

Remember our monitors would like to silence us by fair means or foul.

This is a continuation of the Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3691023-Bunburys-guide-to-community-disruptors-part-4

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging. AS is your friend.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted.. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we always have community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the ‘Break it Down for me’ and ‘It never happens’ threads but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

Go well Witches Gin

OP posts:
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madwoman1ntheattic · 09/07/2020 22:39

@Mammatino

I’ve just introduced my “bra burning” old mum to these boards... she laughed and told me her user name. She also said let them come. It’s a wave washing on a stone, don’t engage because they take your energy and detract. Never ever keep silent when it matters, when it’s a detraction...hush. Hi mum x
ADORE this! #notyomama
Mammatino · 09/07/2020 22:52

I’m slightly thrilled. I remember going home and saying “oh god this is just bullshit”, my dad rolled his eyes and said talk to your mother. She said “seriously, I taught you no better than thar, darling it’s called a mind...fucking use it”. At that time I thought they were the bloody olds.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 09/07/2020 22:59

Hm. Now wondering if my mum is on this board. How would I even know?

bishopgiggles · 09/07/2020 23:03

Jellyfish that is perfect

Mammatino · 09/07/2020 23:04

Scrimshaw...she wouldn’t tell you unless you needed telling. Turned out I needed telling. I’m in my 40’s. she’s in her 70’s.

Mammatino · 09/07/2020 23:06

Arse whacked. She did say you need to find your own way.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 09/07/2020 23:13

Grin Same ages here. [waving at your mum]

I know my mum's gc, though I think she wouldn't call herself that. Doubt she's here ... wonder if I can smoke her out, though.

Mother, I know you never stay up this late, but if you're here, knock three times.

Mammatino · 09/07/2020 23:21

BANG BANG BANG.

Mammatino · 09/07/2020 23:24

I think knowing they have fought and fought and THEY SEE. Is just enough for me, keep looking, keep seeing, keep being true. That means the world. Watching the awfulness that’s happening here, knowing it will wash away and we will stand. That’s enough for me.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 09/07/2020 23:45

Shock holy mary!

Yes, I know what you mean. I found that all the people of that generation that I know are heartily gc, but mostly didn't want to say anything. When the subject has come up they are all quiet until I said anything and then I could see their shoulders relax. Like you say, maybe seeing it for a wave that will come, and then, hopefully, fuck off again.

wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 10/07/2020 08:41

My mum had a massive rant about TWAW and gender bollocks last night. Go mum!

wellbehavedwomen · 10/07/2020 08:55

My mum told me she'd written to JKR to thank her. I said blankly, "An email?" and she was, "How would I know her email? I wrote her a nice card, darling."

She has no truck with what's happening now. Says she's aware there will always be a small number of people who need to transition on mental health grounds, but thinks it's very clearly bollocks for most, because otherwise there wouldn't be middle aged heterosexual white men demanding access to women's spaces on the one side, and young girls seeking escape from a misogynist society on the other. It would be a lot more balanced, and a lot more consistent with what was always the case in the past (small number of gay boys, adamant from early childhood that they were really girls). She's livid at the way men have leapt on it as a way to demean and abuse women while retaining their good socialist badge. Says those men were always around, but now have a really handy way to let their misogynist freak flags fly. That she's not fought for feminism since she was a girl to have our freedoms and rights stolen from us like this.

I love my mum.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 10/07/2020 08:56

I love your mum.

VickyEadieofThigh · 10/07/2020 10:05

Is that faux naive JAQ one Vicky?

That was what I was alluding to, yes.

highame · 10/07/2020 17:39

Am one of those mums. 71 and saying don't step in my space unless you're invited. Been saying that since the 60's. I'm not sure women are great at stepping up, until they need to, and then, do they get mad, yes they do. Those mums of yours are still looking out for you. I'd have a real go at anyone who tried to step in my daughters space. Might end up with my bad elbow playing up, but would have a go😁 Go to it gals, I love what you're doing.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 10/07/2020 18:46

Star highame! Smile

TehBewilderness · 10/07/2020 20:06

highame Grin Flowers

Kit19 · 11/07/2020 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mammatino · 11/07/2020 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FloralBunting · 11/07/2020 17:58

Gaslighting is so in right now. I do wish women who are at the stage of thinking there must be something from the TRAs they are missing wouldn't start threads where males can literally squat because they've invited to grandstand. I understand why it happens, and it is a stage we have probably all worked through, but ugh.

madwoman1ntheattic · 11/07/2020 18:26

It’s getting really tedious now. I’m finding myself clocking the poster and not posting because it’s just pointless narcissism and feels like a whole lotta thigh rubbing going on. It isn’t even intellectual masturbation. I suppose I should make an effort to post on threads and grey rock in isolation instead of backing off. It’s like back in the larrygrylls days when you couldn’t post for tripping over him and his mate. (I know Larry is still around. Fortunately he got bored with FWR.)

nauticant · 11/07/2020 18:37

Just seeing the name larrygrylls in someone else's post makes a sunny early evening become a little bit grey.

madwoman1ntheattic · 11/07/2020 18:38

eep. Sorry. This week I’ve been having those sorts of flashbacks though. Confused

FloralBunting · 11/07/2020 18:38

I honestly think the best response is to do what a feminist forum should do - focus on women, tune out dudes. In context here, their opinions, views and experiences are an irrelevance and a distraction. My time is precious, as is that of every woman's here. Spend it wisely.

Kantastic · 11/07/2020 18:49

mildly irritated by this double act thing where every time Poster A appears Poster B, or sometimes Poster C, pops in to say "I agree with Poster A!"

Also I think if you're a man who has invented a female sockpuppet to agree with you about everything you should take a long hard look at yourself (but you won't because you're a narcissist.)

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