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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunbury's guide to community disruptors part 5

983 replies

ItsLateHumpty · 20/06/2020 15:04

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

Remember our monitors would like to silence us by fair means or foul.

This is a continuation of the Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3691023-Bunburys-guide-to-community-disruptors-part-4

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging. AS is your friend.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted.. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we always have community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the ‘Break it Down for me’ and ‘It never happens’ threads but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

Go well Witches Gin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
NeurotrashWarrior · 05/07/2020 13:03

Any post like that needs the break it down for me thread posted immediately and left alone tbh.

I think they're posting in good faith actually but it's better letting them work it out for themselves. The hardwiring to be kind runs deep.

NeurotrashWarrior · 05/07/2020 13:03

I can't find the actual thread to post, plus it's moving so very fast!

VickyEadieofThigh · 05/07/2020 13:05

Any post like that needs the break it down for me thread posted immediately and left alone tbh.

I agree. Just post it and leave well alone.

PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg · 05/07/2020 13:05

Yes, but new 'why so hateful?!' OP does seem to have done a remarkably quick reverse to 'oh well if you put it like that, yikes, I see the problems'

Either super naive - lots of people are I guess - or an interesting new gambit!

NeurotrashWarrior · 05/07/2020 13:12

Found it and posted. It never comes up in a search on mn app btw...

NeurotrashWarrior · 05/07/2020 13:13

interesting new gambit!

Always the risk of generating screenshots I guess.

NeurotrashWarrior · 05/07/2020 13:16

Lol, that thread might end up on the break it down for me thread "exploring the term hate.." Grin

Al1Langdownthecleghole · 05/07/2020 13:16

@Arborea

If anyone manages to get the Rules of Misogyny on a tea towel please will you advertise them (ideally in a separate thread)? I would love to acquire a good half dozen or so Grin
Yep. Me too.
PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg · 05/07/2020 13:18

That's what I wondered Neurotrash.

Maybe someone's worked out that it's worth a punt for a screenshot in case they get lucky & get an intemperate response - & if not the usual 'bwahahah you're all frigid evil TERFs choke on my dick' unmask is an instant lurker sherpa...

FemaleAndLearning · 05/07/2020 13:19

Thanks ROwntrees for the reminder. I've been an expert in using the gray Rock theory since I left my abusive husband. My mantras are:
No reaction is the best reaction.
And
To react is to give power.

NeurotrashWarrior · 05/07/2020 13:22

Or what threads is it burying?

At the same time, if it's coming up in active more can see it and read why there's no hate

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 05/07/2020 14:05

Nothing but a house of cards.

I suppose some people have really given the subject absolutely zero thought at all, to the practical logistics of what a prhase like TWAW means. So if someone actually points it out - 'oh. OH.'

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 05/07/2020 18:19

Someone posting about Lady Authoresses in AIBU, I must say there's not much feminine socialisation going on in that board. Grin

nauticant · 05/07/2020 18:30

No posting history. But apparently on MN since 2018. If anyone asks it'll be because of a name change, obviously.

Still, the posters on the thread are having none of it.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/07/2020 18:34

I'm not so sure. I wouldn't like a post like that to remain completely unchallenged, and attract a number of confirming posts about how the OP is so right about the hate. It can be productive to respond while actually posting for the benefit of lurkers.

Yes, was about to post similar earlier but then my battery died.

madwoman1ntheattic · 05/07/2020 18:49

@PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg

Yes, but new 'why so hateful?!' OP does seem to have done a remarkably quick reverse to 'oh well if you put it like that, yikes, I see the problems'

Either super naive - lots of people are I guess - or an interesting new gambit!

I wondered. Grin two thoughts: 1 - undercover/ sleeper/ honeytrap - easily rendered pointless.
2 - people not reading the thread will continue to lay in because of the ‘usual’ types who start threads in this manner - so the op will be treated to tirades of continued ‘how wrong you are’ and will feel unfairly attacked and defensive. I actually thought how lovely it would be if the thread closed at the ‘epiphany’ and apology. Grin
PumbaasCucumbas · 05/07/2020 20:00

Some stellar posts on that thread though, just think of the lurkers Grin

PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg · 05/07/2020 20:23

Yes - I think it turned out quite well in the end. Not sure the OP's bona fides matter that much - it's always helpful to have it laid out...

I'm inclining towards genuine & naive, tbh.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 06/07/2020 12:53

just think of the lurkers

Is there any research to show that lurkers read through threads that look like a bunfight rather than turning away or thinking, "A plague on all your houses"?

PumbaasCucumbas · 06/07/2020 15:00

I guess anecdotally people often say, ‘long term lurker here...’ And tbf I think a lot of people arrive here with similar attitude to that OP and end up reading some facts, info and arguments they’d struggle to find anywhere else. Whether they change their mind is another thing but at least it goes deeper than all the usual #bekind twaw.

Lettera · 06/07/2020 16:46

I won't engage. As a poster on the thread said, we're no-one's support humans. I haven't the time, energy or inclination to do men's thinking for them.

PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg · 06/07/2020 17:03

Boyfriend who turned out to be a girlfriend, anyone? It's knee deep in stupid & about to kick off I suspect.

EdgeOfACoin · 06/07/2020 17:06

As a former lurker, I would say that it really does help.

The reasoned posts on one side and the very poorly argued points on the other did a lot to show me which side has the stronger case. If there are TRAs out there with better arguments, I genuinely would like to hear them. I've not seen any in the time I've been here - it just seems to boil down to 'but my trans friend is lovely' and 'yeah but sex is a spectrum'.

However, for those of you who have been here for aeons, I can understand why it is tiresome to go over everything Yet Again.

nauticant · 06/07/2020 17:18

I did a big "hmmm" at that one PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg. I'd imagine for many young girls* embarking into relationships but not yet ready for a fully sexual relationship that a transboy could be an appealing choice.

  • who ultimately turn out to be heterosexual, not that it matters
ScrimpshawTheSecond · 06/07/2020 17:25

I can't even see the boyfriend/girlfriend one. Is it away?