How do you 'feel like a woman' today?

[hypernormal]

The question of how it's possible for someone to 'feel like a woman' is usually answered by those who 'identify as female' with sexist stereotypes - things such as liking barbie as a child, playing with girls, liking makeup and dresses etc. I'm interested to hear how biological women would answer this question.

This morning I woke up early with period pains, so I took some paracetamol. Then, when I changed my menstrual cup it was so full that it spilled on my trousers that I'd just put on, so I had to wash them and find something else to wear that will fit my massively, hormonally bloated stomach. This is not something that happens to transwomen, yet this is the only way in which I 'feel like a woman' so far today.

How do you 'feel like a woman' today?

Slept in an awkward position so woke up with my right boob crushed in agony. Still feels tender now.

Was in v. important meeting with two male colleagues who spoke over me several times. When I did manage to input into the conversation, the most senior of the two nodded approvingly, telling me "that's actually really good!" No such condescension was offer to the other colleague during the meeting and, like the woman I've been conditioned to be, I lapped it up!

I have constant background anxiety about how long before the specialist gynae clinic I attend will be closed. I take the pill mainly to deal with endometriosis but also due to mental health related fears around pregnancy (it's a two-birds-with-one-stone kinda thing). I have 6 month's supply left and have a growing terror of running out. My GP doesn't want to know - has already told me twice that contraception is not a priority right now. I see a specialist who understands but with the clinic closed, I have no way of contacting her.

Those are my woman-feelings today. Everything else I feel is just human, I guess.

Well, I’m tired today because I had to get up in the night due to period flooding, I’m bloated and between my legs feels like it’s dragging. My first task this morning was writing an urgent letter to my MP asking him to support Liz Truss in not giving my sex based rights away and I need to find time to do a food shop while having to wait in for the boiler man, who is coming round at an unspecified time.

Boobs giving me trouble when running. I have overeaten when wfh and all the weight has gone on top. DH does not have this problem with his testicles when he gets fat.

My uterus is swollen, I had cramps like contractions. I'm not on my period, did a pregnancy test last week and it was negative but my body is still acting strange.
I've been told to go to the GP but will wait a few weeks as they'll only send me off with a flea in my ear as "just hormonal" when I know it's not normal. I'm so sick of not being taken seriously.

I can't say that I ever consciously feel like a woman except in situations where I am made aware of prejudice/discrimination/violence directed specifically against women, and am reminded that I belong to that group. I do things that women do without thinking about being a woman. Interesting to hear that other people feel like a woman multiple times a day!

I don't get periods as I had a hysterectomy years ago. It feels totally normal to me and I normally don't think of it at all. If for some reason I am reminded, I think how great it is not to have them :D

Woke up early, gave DD breakfast, played with her, got her down for a nap then showered, got myself ready and cleaned the kitchen.
Oh wait, that was DH.

I'm still in my PJs and have been on conference calls since 8am. Am I a man?
I mean my period started today but if we have learnt anything recently it's that it only makes me a menstruator.
Must woman better if I want to keep the label.

Wondering if feeling grumpy is hormonal or just down to homeschooling for ten thousand days.

Periods here as well. I only ever feel "like a woman" if it's something biological.

@AliasGrape - i really feel you on how IVF is a totally different experience if you're a woman. Ours is on hold atm after the first round failed, but the first round seemed like a fucking mountain to climb for me. And because we're using a sperm donor it felt a bit like it was 100% on me.

I guess I also found this thread depressing because it made me feel as if I won't be a woman if the IVF fails. Or at best, I'll be a failed woman because woman = reproductive biology, apparently.

You lovely women. I work in an all female workplace and although we’re all slowly returning to work in smaller groups and on reduced hours, I’m still missing the female camaraderie and bearing each other’s burdens which women do so well. It’s like therapy sharing with each other and for you all who are struggling.

It strikes me that it’s the physical reality of being women that affects us the most, closely followed by the societal/conditioning effects which are directly related to our physical bodies, which we couldn’t identify out of even if we wanted to.

What also strikes me from all you’ve said is the ‘women can never win’ element. We suffer with our normal functioning bodies, we suffer in different ways if they don’t function normally, we suffer in various ways with regards to pregnancy but also suffer if we struggle to conceive or are judged for not having children. There are issues unique to biological womanhood that we aren’t allowed mention and even our thoughts about everything else get trampled over by men who think they know better.

And this body we struggle with sometimes but learn to work with and take care of (along with all the other emotional and physical needs of other people) is seen as some kind of prize that males should have access to, or appropriate. We have ‘c** white privilege’ so can’t even advocate for women more vulnerable than ourselves. You really can’t win. Ever.

Feeling insecure that my boobs have shrunk back to their pre pregnancy/breastfeeding size and wondering how to tackle the stretch marks and cellulite which plague my decisions to have a look in the mirror and yearn for the body which I once had

Then I look at my ds and remember that it is all worth it

I am a woman, don't just feel like one . I was born one , live like one and I'm so angry that people want to take that away from me , my daughters and granddaughter.
You cannot become a woman you either are or arn't .
I am disappointed that women see their rights eroded and the things that make us women taken away from us . Our dignity our specialness , our unique traits that make us the other half of the population.
It make me sad that we are reduced to "people that menstruate "
WE ARE WOMEN and we shouldn't be afraid to say so .
Just so sad 😞 that's what makes me a woman today , sadness

It’s ds’s birthday today. I am reminiscing back on that day where I gave birth without any pain relief as my midwife had decided that it was a natural process that women have done for thousands of years without pain relief so I could too. Luckily it was quick and reasonably uncomplicated.

I've got blood pouring put of my fanjo. Messy and inconvenient!

Feeling exhausted post covid; trying to do some wfh; unable to decide what to wear because of hot flushes; dog, husband, adult son wrangling; food making, planning and shopping.
Later I will be building a shed - if I can get son to dress and help me.
So Feminine, so fragrant. And quite cross.

I sneezed and pissed myself a little and had to change my pants.

Got up at 5.45 with DS who'd been up 7 times in the night to breastfeed, and took him to the park so DH could have a lie-in (key worker who'd been at work until 1am, as opposed to dick who doesn't contribute to parenting). Had a picnic breakfast in the park including some banana and a breastfeed for DS. Came home and put washing on. Planned lunch and dinner. Breastfed DS to sleep. Prepped lunch while he napped. Pumped milk for DH to give a feed later today...
Basically feeding people I guess!

I am a long time lurker by don't tend to post (but boy have I been glued on here the last couple of weeks and feeling total rage about the world! - I might not post but I have been writing to MSP's as suggested, donating to organisations fighting the good fight, emailing organisations etc )

Anyway total I am on day 27 of my cycle (I just finished Wild Power by Alexandra Pope and am charting how I feel during my cycle) feeling very teary and stressed. Working remotely, single parent and badly home schooling 2 primary aged kids. Work in an all male team and feeling pretty unsupported and annoyed about the extra work "house work" I am asked to do for my team which is not expected of my colleagues. Sore breasts, few early period pains, spots, headache, not been sleeping with night sweats (peri-menopausal?) - I tell you what it I could be a man for a day I'd seriously consider it right now! But love reading how everyone else is feeling their femininity today! I did put on some new perfume I treated myself to which my DD told me smelt like "meat"?!! So yup I am channelling femininity!

So far, taken painkillers in the night as period pains woke me up, and then anti depressants when I woke up as I have pmt based depression which last month saw me go to the doctor and ask to die! Man, I feel like a woman Don’t understand why anyone would want to be a woman!

Today I feel like a woman, because I'm wondering where my period has gone, and why hasn't she turned up. I can't be pregnant, because I haven't had sex this cycle 🤔 it's a mystery 🤷🏻‍♀️ or maybe I'm the new not so Virgin Mary.

I've also had my male colleague comment on my "chesticles" because I have a tight polo neck jumper on and am a 34E.

I have spent all morning ensure sufficient childcare is in place for my son so I can go to the office. I am a single mum. This tiny child that I grew and birthed is entirely dependant on me.

You cannot become a woman you either are or arn't .

This

I guess I also found this thread depressing because it made me feel as if I won't be a woman if the IVF fails. Or at best, I'll be a failed woman because woman = reproductive biology, apparently.

What I take from the thread is the radical idea that being a woman is a state, like being 5'2" or a teenager. You cannot be a more or less a woman based on growing your hair or anything you do or don't do. And you certainly won't be a failed woman. You can't fail at being a woman unless you're a man. Being a woman = existing as an adult human female. No more, no less. Reproductive biology does not define it, but it comes with it (including problems with it and society's expectations).

Woke up with period pains despite starting Desogestrel to hopefully get rid of those (and not get pregnant), plus nasty brown spotting (desogestrel). Cocodamol and morning in bed (just got up so DH can do his counselling session by zoom in the bedroom).

Also tried on the bras I ordered and debated with myself for ages whether £40 was a reasonable amount to spend on a bra (tried it on a few times, liked it, but the labels out as they itched and now not sure!) and whether the cost should come from my personal budget or the family clothing one. Have decided it isn't my fault I have breasts that need a bra, so family budget it is. The make up and fancy shampoo is my next conundrum... My costs always seem higher than DH's!

I do things that women do without thinking about being a woman. Interesting to hear that other people feel like a woman multiple times a day!
I don't think women here are saying they do these things while thinking about being a woman. I'm certainly not, I just feel like a genderless human until I'm reminded either by my biology or unequal treatment in society that I'm female. It seems what most people are describing are either unpleasant biological processes or discrimination/pressure to fulfil sexist social standards, both of which don't fall on transwomen or involve any kind of innate 'feeling' of being female.

I felt fat and only women should feel shame being fat.

/sarcasm

Not much womanly womaning today. I put on a bra?

Gatehouse77 I tried to explain to dh about the automatic fear reaction when I unexpectedly hear my own teenage son in the house.