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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

If men are racist it’s all the fault of women!

35 replies

OatcakeCravings · 15/06/2020 21:38

Well near enough. Just read this on FB from the Tab which is an online student zine.

thetab.com/uk/2020/06/15/if-youre-a-girl-dating-a-boy-whos-subtly-racist-youre-part-of-the-problem-161634

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 15/06/2020 21:40

Oh dearie fucking me. This is a shark jumping moment.

ShinyFootball · 15/06/2020 21:42

It advises you to change the man you're with. Aren't we often told this is impossible?

Also, and I genuinely don't know, is it not okay to sing along to a song with that word? Are you not supposed to like the song? If you're white? Kanye is black?

I'm a feminist and God millions of sexist, misogynist, creepy songs out there. Or sung by people who were. If I drop all that I've got, well not much left tbh.

This is a genuine post I am a bit confused.

ShinyFootball · 15/06/2020 21:43

Are there articles for men asking them to avoid misogynistic music?

Maybe 1 or 2 but I don't see them being 'called out' like this.

Always the woman's fault indeed, and sorting stuff out for women comes last, always.

SapphosRock · 15/06/2020 21:45

Of course it is. Everything is women's fault.

Also I've noticed the news reports are of 'people' rioting, fighting etc. Haven't spotted a single women in those fights yet.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 15/06/2020 21:53

Oh ffs. No, I am not going to relate to a man I'm shagging as if he's 5 and I'm his mummy.

FishAreAcquaintancesNotFood · 15/06/2020 22:49

Ha read this one she wrote. Her byline says assistant editor Shock shocking writing.

This one is amusing because a gay man points out a straight man wouldn't like penis. Imagine if he said that about lesbians Shock
thetab.com/uk/2020/06/10/racial-preferences-are-the-final-taboo-of-dating-its-time-to-call-them-out-160735

FishAreAcquaintancesNotFood · 15/06/2020 22:59

Shiny I can't imagine ever feeling comfortable using the N word in any circumstances. If you were with a group of black friends would you feel comfortable singing it? It not I'd say that is your answer. I'll sing along and skip the word when it comes on.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 15/06/2020 23:00

Reading The Tab is a great argument against allowing young people to take the lead in how society works. They all just sound so painfully clueless.

Al1Langdownthecleghole · 15/06/2020 23:01

Aah look another Male problem that's seemingly the fault of women Hmm

FishAreAcquaintancesNotFood · 15/06/2020 23:02

I just don't understand how anything that incoherent could be written by the editor or assistant editor.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 15/06/2020 23:03

To be fair that's true, sometimes it's hard to make the distinction between "this person is thick as pigshit" and "this person's writing is so bad that it makes my inner editor cry".

(Often the answer is "both", ime.)

FishAreAcquaintancesNotFood · 15/06/2020 23:05

It makes Everyday feminism look like Shakespeare

FishAreAcquaintancesNotFood · 15/06/2020 23:06

I think both applies here. It's terrifying.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 15/06/2020 23:07

What's killing me is that these are kids who got into uni. What does that say about the admission standards? How illiterate were the people who didn't get in?

Melia100 · 15/06/2020 23:14

If you haven't yet noticed the extreme difference in how white women have anti-racism marketed to them - be guilty! original sin! repent! - vs how white men have anti-racism marketed to them - radio silence unless they are literally espousing a white nation state - then you just haven't lived.

It's interesting to me the cultural animus directed at white women, who, by any metric, are far less likely to be carrying out say, police shootings, than white men. They tend to police less aggressively, and employ more de-escalation tactics than male officers.

I heard a black college professor interviewed about his experience of being racially profiled. Police wanted to take him to a line up so a (white) woman could ID her attacker. His rage (justified) was directed almost entirely at the idea of a white WOMAN looking at him, not at the male officers who had profiled him. I found that disturbing.

Anyway, underlying all of this is the idea that women are responsible for what men do. That men are in a state of permanent aggression and women act as a civilizing force. To fail to restrain the (white) male through the power of (white) womanhood is seen as a double crime - a failure to feminise others in line with community expectations, and a racist action - whereas (white) male aggression is seen as conforming to natural masculine traits of physical violence. Men have the one sin - implicit bias - but are not held responsible for the same sin women are - that of civilising the (white) savage.

Anyway, it's interesting. Probably entirely taboo to discuss. I personally don't feel that I am responsible for what men do.

MorrisZapp · 15/06/2020 23:17

Melia you are so spot on. I've been feeling this for a while but you've articulated it so perfectly.

Jaxhog · 15/06/2020 23:22

@Melia100 I totally agree. Too many societies still think a woman is responsible for aggressive male behaviour when they (the women) are the victims. It seems we have all the responsibility, while men have all the power.

Melia100 · 15/06/2020 23:26

Thanks MorrisZapp

I am sure a black feminist would have her own argument as to the historical context around the weaponizing of white womanhood against black brothers, sons, fathers, and I'm not entirely ignorant of that context.

And of course, white women, like other humans, can be racially prejudiced, and can behave in racist manners. My point, really, is the extent to which rage at white men is displaced onto white women.

MorrisZapp · 15/06/2020 23:26

So often male violence doesn't even draw comment. It's like air, it just 'is'. But women's behaviour is policed and judged by both men and women. Idiots like these students are doing misogyny's work for them.

7Days · 15/06/2020 23:27

It's the same dynamic of women being clobbered for their words in the trans/womens rights debate.

Our words are making men commit atrocities? If violent men listened to women I think a lot of our problems would disappear.

Melia100 · 15/06/2020 23:28

It seems we have all the responsibility, while men have all the power

Perfectly put.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 15/06/2020 23:30

Part of the reason the rage is displaced is that raging at a white woman is much less likely to result in her responding with physical violence. We're a safer target.

MorrisZapp · 15/06/2020 23:31

Yes imagine having the power to stop men being violent. Who knew we only had to withhold sex and they'd be forced to change their ways. Bravo, lib fems.

Melia100 · 15/06/2020 23:32

We're a safer target

Yeah, we respond by doing penance. Because female socialisation. Someone tells you you've sinned? You ask how many Hail Mary's.

(OK< that might just be me)

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 15/06/2020 23:35

And I agree with her general point in terms of not shagging or hanging out with arseholes, but you shouldn't be doing it because it's your job as a woman to Make Men Better, you should stop hanging around men like that because it will make your life better.

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