Reflecting on past abusive relationship

[WitsEnd2020]

Hi, I need to get this written down and I feel this is probably the safest place to do so. For context, I had an abusive father who ruled the household and I was treated very badly. I was quite opinionated and stuck up for myself so I got punished even more. The Abuse had an impact though. Aged 19, I got into a relationship with an 35 year old man. I've done a lot of reading over the years and now realise that I was probably 'love bombed' he turned out to be a nasty piece of work. We were using condoms and I fell pregnant, I suspect he had tampered with the the condoms. He pressurised me into an having an abortion. He also raped me. The relationship ended when the piece of shit head butted me. This all happened on the early 2000's. I'm now married to a lovely man with two great kids. However, I'm so fucking angry. I'm disgusted at how I was treated. The bastard has got away with it. Doesn't seem fair. Thank you for reading.

Well done for still being here. Its okay to cry and feel a bit shit sometimes. I wish I could say something that could make your past better for you.

You moved on and built a good life?

Yes I've moved on and become stronger for it. Have been determined to live a good life and to help others through my choice of career. However, the anger remains that I was treated that way. I feel like I was groomed. I want the bastard to face justice I suppose.

Well done to you then, it takes a lot to build yourself up after that treatment

Most abusive men go to their graves without any punishment or guilt don't they ?but the best thing is if you change their legacy. Be you. Raise good kids. Then their legacy dies with them and your better one lives on

I'm so, so sorry. Glad you're in a much better place now, although I hear you on the anger remaining.